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 Author Thread: Women Don't Know What They Want
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 9/2/2018 7:34:46 AM
I think it's common to talk about our exes because the experiences with them helped us become who we are today (good or bad). Especially if it was a long relationship and if there are kids involved. Part of getting to know someone is telling "your story". I get tired of telling my story sometimes. I think I should write a book about my life then give it to potential dates. Give them a few days then see if they've left the country :)

I don't think it's good if the entire first meeting conversation is about exes. Maybe touch on a few things but there is a lot more to talk about.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 13 (view)
 
vroom vroom - life as a car
Posted: 9/1/2018 9:41:47 PM
I'd like to find a low mileage model that isn't high-maintenance, doesn't smoke and hasn't been in a major accident. Options like a removable top and pop-up headlights will be nice! Oh, has to have a clear title too. No mechanic's liens or other issues with ownership!

Message me to schedule a test drive!
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 145 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/17/2018 7:47:53 AM

You are correct. One of the reasons we won't, is that we don't want to annoy you excessively. Some of those little clever cues you women use that make you hard to get, we take as you being not interested. We then say," Bye, have a nice life" and go about our way.

Once is enough for me. I won't make the return trip, so don't expect it. You can be your own worst enemy, sometimes.


I'm like that to a point. I like to see local bands play so it's mostly if I'm at a place where they play. I'll see a woman I'm attracted to and sometimes don't approach her because I feel she gets hit on all the time. Especially in a place like that. I think she'll think of me as just another guy trying to get laid. Granted at that point I only see her physical features so I'll be thinking about that. But she could be a person who is girlfriend material.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/16/2018 3:02:56 PM

Well hotels in Aus cost atleast 400 a night, excluding food and drink.
Best cruise deals for good cruise liners is around 150 a night for balcony and that includes free buffet for all meals and free dining and some free drinks and free cafe food. Best deals for non balcony is about 80- 100 per night. Should be cheaper for quad share.
I basically assumed Japan would be atleast 3000-4000 for 10 nights.

About living though, Aus is pretty expensive to live in. Rent is pretty high. Eg my place is 2200 a month. The minimum for rent is basically 1800 a month. Just most are atleast 450 a week for decent houses and 350 minimum a week but the place may be a dump and that isn't even in the city either.


What is minimum wage there and maybe the average income to put it in perspective. Apartment rentals in a city that's about 10 miles from me are in the $800-$1200 range. Houses in my area rent from $1200-$2000+. The average house price is in the mid-to upper $200K range with some much higher. A house that's worth about $275K here is close to $100K less in some other parts of the country like Florida or maybe North Carolina. It can cost $100s of thousands more in a place like Los Angeles.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/16/2018 5:57:14 AM

Endless, I bet you would get takers with that offer. Splitting costs is normal when people live together.


I'd have to give it a lot of thought before I lived with someone. I have 3 kids. My oldest is on her own and I've very protective of my 12 year old twins. Besides me being into a woman I'm seeing, she also has to be someone that I'd feel comfortable having the kids around. And if it was going to go long term, I'd have to be VERY comfortable with them being alone with her. Plus it has to be a serious relationship before they know her as my girlfriend. That rarely happens. I don't want them to keep seeing new people. Taking this to the level of moving in with each other, this might sound selfish but she would have to move in with me. I've seen and heard of to much over the years so I need the security of knowing I won't lose my place if something happens. Especially with my girls. Or maybe I just haven't found the right person to let down my guard and consider moving in with her if the situation was right. I just don't see that happening.

mahwahgirl - I like that! :)
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/15/2018 7:32:41 PM

It costs a lot less to cohabitate. Think about the cost of rent or a mortgage. A rent being about $1,200+, you can save as a minimum $600 a month, $7,200 a year, $36,000 for 5 years.


I should change my profile headline to something like "Who needs love when we can save each other money!" :)
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/15/2018 7:06:57 PM

From reading this thread, it appears that most like being single or don't mind. What seems to be lacking is either enough single friends to enjoy things with, rather than doing them by one's self, or that money is the limiting factor. It makes me wonder if people get into romantic relationships as a trade off of sorts because they lack enough single friends and money. I don't think that's entirely surprising, given both the divorce rate and the revolving door of dating.


A group of friends and I used to do a lot together. See bands, karaoke, hang at the marina etc... That was about 5-10 years ago. Some of us were in relationships and some were single. We started hanging out less and less as more people in the group found someone and it became serious. We went from getting together 1-2 nights some weeks to maybe seeing each other 1-2 times each year. Even some of my close friends. We get together once in awhile but it's not like before. I can usually get a "date" if I need one. By that I mean a single or sometimes married female friend. Just someone to goto dinner with or maybe a comedy club.

As for living alone, I think I mentioned I don't mind living alone in my original post. I kind of prefer it. But... I hear life can be cheaper when there are two people contributing. I've never really experienced that. I carried most of the bills when I was married (mortgage, utilities, insurance, paid for all the cars etc...). She paid for child care and food. I made much more and she worked for me so I guess I didn't pay her enough :) I think it can be easier with fairly equal pays and each person contributing to the normal living expenses.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/13/2018 6:17:30 PM

I've had many women look down their noses at my line of work. I've been a building contractor all of my life. Most, I believe, think that I spend a lot of my time looking for work. Yup, I must have spent, Ohh, perhaps 20 days in my working life not having another job to start after I've finished my last job. Most, however do not know of all of my talents.

Anything you have sitting under the peak of your house, I can build or fix. This includes most of your major appliances. (Short of Refrigeration) May as well add into that mix, your car, mower, or anything with a gas engine. I've built a number of grain handling, and mixing equipment operations from the ground up. Most farm equipment. I can fabricate most anything out of steel. I can repair any swimming pool, or spa tub. I know how to run any piece of heavy equipment. I can drive anything, including semi tractors. I can operate most machine shop equipment. I know how to pull water wells, or fix any plumbing issue. Electric, all, including some three phase industrial. Until the digital age came along, I could even fix analog. Heating, well, if it's got a standing pilot light, I can repair it.

I can even miss vacations on a regular basis. Mainly because people will swamp me with work- quite often. I'm a first call on most household disasters, because people know I can bail them out of many situations.

Yes, I'm one of those nasty folks that does "Dirty Jobs". My days are never dull. How many can say," I went to work on a roof, but instead, I got an old flat head Ford V-8 started, tuned, and installed in a '52 Ford ratrod- And got paid to do it".

Sometimes, life can be more interesting than a date.


Good post!!!
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/13/2018 4:41:12 PM

FYI I would not want a male dancer, or mortician.


People are dying to see a mortician once!
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/13/2018 3:02:10 PM
I find that the most popular professional for woman here is something in the medical field. I see that in at least half of the profiles that I look at.

Ladies - is there a profession that is common for men?
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/12/2018 5:52:36 PM
Some people have a laundry list of requirements in their profile. I've seen a few that say "Tell me what you bring to the table". It sounds like a business transaction. I don't care if someone is a CEO or cashier at Target. It's about who they are and how we connect. It's nice to be with someone who isn't struggling financially and can hold their own but none of our lives are perfect.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/11/2018 5:39:37 PM

I've gone on vacation by myself. However, it's just not as enjoyable as traveling with other people. I find a lot of activities are just more enjoyable with another person than by yourself.


Death Valley... It's the one place that I tell people I went to solo then they look at me funny before asking if I'm crazy. It was only 133 degrees that day. And that's why I went, to experience the extremely high temps. A friend told me she'd go but I knew she would have been miserable so that wouldn't have been a good experience for me. I wish I would have went with someone who would have appreciated it but I still had a good time.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/11/2018 5:33:45 PM

It kind of does. I wait until I travel (which I do solo) to go out and about and enjoy myself. For example, I love going to live music in pubs and I do all the time when I travel, but would never do it here. I don't here because I work with hundreds of people and they all know me, or at least know who I am (because of the position I hold), and I know enough of them well enough to know they would gossip. The friendships I make at work are limited, again because of position. And we keep our friendships pretty private (they are at level or in higher positions) because we know there would be so many who would gossip and try to create drama that wasn't there. I don't mind going to a matinee or something by myself but I'm careful not to go to some other places. Endless, NY would be wonderful but if I were lucky enough to find someone to kiss, I guarantee it would be all over FB the next day.


I also like live music. There are a few local bands that I like to see. I sometimes go with friends or if I'm dating someone I'll go with her. Not as much fun going along. I don't have a problem talking to people but I find a lot of single women in those places have their guards up so they sometimes aren't as friendly. It's more fun if I bring someone. But... I've also had good experiences going solo.

As for NYE, you could find a masquerade party so you can get that midnight kiss without anyone knowing who you are :)


for camping trips, afternoon drives or weekend getaways, yes, not much fun without a partner but for home life, single has its upsides. my free time is actually mine! if my work schedule is heavy and want to be lazy when I get home, that's what I do. if I want to go to my garage or remodel the house, I just do it.


For home life, I don't mind being single. There are times when I don't want to talk to anyone or I just want to do my own thing. That could be laying on the couch watching TV, things around the house, going for a bike ride or do some drone photography. I'm perfectly find being single at home. The only negative I can think of about that is if something happens to me (especially when I get older). I could be laying on the floor for a long time before someone finds me.


I know many women that won't even go to a restaurant by themselves...let alone go on vacation!!
I used to work "on the road"...so got used to eating out and traveling by myself...
so when I became single....it wasn't unnatural to me.


Restaurants... I forgot about them. My phone is my "date" if I go solo. I spend most of my time staring at my phone if it's just me. Unless I'm at a nice place by the water that has a great view.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 8/11/2018 2:18:14 PM
5 years? I can't even tell you how many I've had in the last 2 years. There are a few that stand out. Probably because we dated for awhile. I had two woman who I dated off and on for over a year. We had a good time together but no love connection (at least on my side). I think it's easy to make it to a second date, maybe harder to get to a third. Things are starting to look good for a relationship if it gets to 4-7 dates. At least that's how it usually works for me. 3-4 dates is usually when the other person and I consider ourselves a couple unless it's just going to be dating with no commitment.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does being single stop you from doing what you want?
Posted: 8/11/2018 1:55:15 PM
I know of people that hardly go anywhere become they are single. They feel that they have to be with someone to do something. I'm the opposite. I go places and do things when I want to. Doesn't matter if I'm with someone or not. It's nice to share experiences with someone but I'm not going to just sit home if I'm single. I've traveled around the country solo (Key West, Sedona, Vegas and Hollywood to name a few). I've gone to those and other places by myself but usually make friends while I'm there so I end up having someone to spend time with if I want to. Other times I enjoy doing my own thing. I like to go out for NYE. A couple of years ago was a rare time when I wasn't dating someone and my single female friends didn't want to go out so I went out by myself. I found that being the single guy in the room can work out pretty good when it comes time to kiss at midnight. Needless to say I had a great time!

It's not all perfect but much better than letting life pass me by when I'm not with someone. Our days on earth are short. I try not to waste them.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 121 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/11/2018 7:00:19 AM
Thanks for the info! I've wondered why I see that in some posts.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 219 (view)
 
When did asking your bra size become socially acceptable?
Posted: 8/10/2018 9:24:47 PM
I usually don't have to ask. Most of the time I can tell what size a woman's breasts are by looking at them. I'm right most of the time. As for asking. I usually don't mention it unless the conversation gets onto that subject. Sometime a woman might ask what turns me on or physical appearances I like. I'm a boob guy so that can start it off.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/10/2018 9:17:53 PM

You had mentioned that once, and that you didn't know if you would remind her that you communicated before. Did she remember?


Ahh... I can finally post in this thread again. The 2 out of 10 posts thing is a PITA!

I was going to mention it to her at some point but didn't have enough dates to do it. She never said anything so I don't think she remembered.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/7/2018 5:32:21 PM
Something that I didn't mention in this thread. I talked to this woman about two years ago. I realized that when I saw our past conversations pop up under her phone number. We started messaging here in May 2016 then had a great 2 hour phone conversation the next day. We made plans to go out two days later during that conversation. I didn't hear from her the next day and didn't get a reply to my good morning message the day we were supposed to go out. That evening I sent her a message telling her I was going to pass on going out because I haven't heard from her. I also noted that it would have been nice if she let me know she wasn't interested after we talked for 2 hours. Her reply said she couldn't get past the fact that I'm not close to my parents so we wouldn't be a good match. I pointed out that I wish that part of my life was different but it doesn't make me a bad person.

I knew I should have taken that conversation as a sign when I realized it!
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/6/2018 8:47:38 PM

Endless, please reread my message #72 from this thread.
It appears you may have been "Too good to be true".
That is not to be interpreted as a bad thing. You seem to be a "good guy", so don't change.
A woman who has unresolved issues (suffered abuse of any kind) from the past seeks to keep things familiar / comfortable. She knows nothing else. A woman who is given the opportunity to experience a healthy relationship, can only do so IF she feels she is worthy of such.

Didn't she say, you were too good for her?


Thanks! She said I was nice and didn't deserve to be hurt if we continued to go out and then she had to move to FL. Good points in that post!


I think it's a matter of people keeping up appearances until they decide they don't want to continue the relationship. My last dates with men generally are good dates before I pull the plug. It wasn't about the date itself, but feeling I'm not going to mesh with the person long term. Just the same after going on one date. The guy can think it went well, we had fun, but then something didn't click for me. I wouldn't think much of what may seem like a reversal of feelings.


I've done the same on first dates when I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. We would have dinner and great conversation all night. Then one of us looks up to realize we're the last customers in the restaurant. No connection but I made the most of the night.


One thing I've witnessed over the years is that people want what they can't have. Watch a man or woman who is being treated badly or ignored by someone they either are dating or want to date and they will bend over backwards trying to please them. Put up with poor treatment.
How many times in here have we asked people why they are allowing this? I think sometimes this represents a challenge. Nice people aren't a challenge. Just another viewpoint.


Good point! And then they aren't interested in that person after they get them because the challenge is over. The friend that I mentioned at the beginning of this thread, he might not hear from the woman he was interested in for a couple of weeks. Then she would find out he's dating someone. He'd notice she'd contact him a lot after that. Then it would drift off if he was single. They've been friends for years so he didn't take it any further than that when he wasn't available.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 97 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/6/2018 5:03:40 PM

What "nice guy" really means is, a man who is not intuitive and does not understand women.


I guess I lose the nice guy title again. So what do you call a guy who is kind, considerate and thoughtful when it comes to women. He's not someone that treats them badly.


- in this case, she probably is not attracted to him. What nice guys don't understand is, her love level is not yours. He might love her, but she only sees him as a friend, but he can't understand that. He does not see the light. He should only date women who like him, and it's better if they like him first and a lot - that way he has better odds of getting a relationship and not living a quiet life of desperation like he is now.


Possibly but he's better looking than some of the other guy she dates. And one really treats her bad and she knows it but she'll jump if he wants her to be available.

[quote ]She could also have issues, maybe she was hurt in the past? We don't know everything about her.

Or maybe you were a little too easy to catch. Playing hard to get can be helpful (which really means not moving too fast). Many guys fall for women quicker than women fall, so they are not on the same wavelength, and smother the woman. This can confuse the woman and turn her off. Go a little bit slower to prevent this......no gifts before she's in love, don't call and text a whole lot in the beginning, call primarily for a weekly date. It's better if love is a slow build up.

Her ex-husband drank himself to death (really, he did) and a boyfriend after him wasn't very good to her.

Things progressed naturally. We messaged here for a day then exchanged numbers (her suggestion). I asked about getting together so we did that two days later. We went over a few more times over a 2 week period. Everything was good. She went from being all into me, saying she missed and was looking forward to seeing me to being off like a light.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 740 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill the value of a woman?
Posted: 8/5/2018 2:04:44 PM
I started collecting bra tags when I was 18. The girl I was with was a DD so I guess I was happy with that so I took the tag. Actually, I KNOW I was! :) I kept doing that for a number of years after. I wish I knew where the sandwich bag went. I think my ex-wife found it and tossed it while we were going out. As for my number. I kept track when I was younger. I have no clue what it is now.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/5/2018 1:37:01 PM

Why would anyone waste so much time on someone who has moved on?


I was all set the night we had the conversation. I'm not losing any sleep over this.


Not everyone gets a ton of dates. Not everyone has experienced being with someone they liked that often. Its easy for some people to say there's so many fish in the see or that the right person will come along eventually but for some people that's not likely the case.


Your right! I date a lot. Sometimes I don't feel a connection when I meet a woman and sometimes she doesn't feel one with me. Or both of us don't.


Endless, if you saw traits in this woman that weren't surmountable, so there's no bothering to talk the incongruities over, wouldn't you mention this break in time was a good time to break it off? I could hypothesize all day long about what brought it to this, but without knowing her and the situation, one thing could be that she picked up on your "she's not the one" vibe. Whatever it was, she determined it wasn't a good relationship to stay in. I think time for growing together is mostly done when you're older, so why talk about adjusting a relationship. You just cut bait.


I think a perfect match is very rare. I'd probably be single for the rest of my life if I keep waiting for it. I've had two long term relationships (5 and 13 years). Aside from the problems that developed that lead to those ending, the women were a pretty good match for me. They had the look that I'm attracted to, good personalities, we had fun together and we didn't expect a lot. It was all about enjoying each other's company and letting the relationship grow from there. You might say "You found your matches before" which is true but it's different now. The 5 year was from when I was 18-23. The 13 year started when I was 24 (she was 20). I think it's harder as we get older. The conversation about who pays on a date is close to 75 pages long. Everyone has their own opinion. That's okay. Back when I was getting into those two relationships, nobody cared who paid. There was no keeping track. We just have fun. A lot of people have been burned in relationships so they have walls up. I do it too. So most people are looking at the new person they meet and wondering what him/her is trying to get. I could go on with examples but it's just different now. So I know I'm not going to get a perfect match so I let some things slid. Things that I won't let slid is if she smokes or does drugs. Not my thing. For the woman we are talking about, her pictures seem to be a few years old. I remember seeing them at least 2 years ago. She mentioned gaining weight so that's why she looked a little different in person. It was about 35lbs. She had a lot of good qualities so it was okay. I'm not perfect either.


It's great when a gal goes from 0 -> 60. It sucks and is confusing when a gal goes from 60 -> 0 like she did. You check your pockets -- "Whoah, whoah whoah -- wait a sec -- what did I do?" is our first thought. You didn't do anything wacky/weird that threw her off, out of the blue because she lost interest out of the blue. So you can ironically find solace in that.


You nailed it perfectly!!! That's exactly what I was thinking. And your right about her dating. She's not going to be going without. Her profile still pops up as a match. It looks like she's on here everyday. Towards the end of our phone conversation she suggested to let her know if I want to get together for a movie or something. No... that's okay! I'll pass.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/5/2018 7:59:04 AM

She. Lost. Interest. Period.


It's okay if she lost interest but she seemed like she had a lot of it up until that point. We went out a few times before she went away. She drove 40 minutes to see me one of those nights so I didn't have to drive more after an 80 minute round trip to drop my kids off. And... she grabbed the check when it came. That was date #2. I wast starting to think she was a considerate person who's not just out for herself.


She blocked you. Let that be a sign to Wake Up, if her being weird when coming back from her parental trip didn't turn on the light bulb of the real reason she wanted to Cut. It. Off.


I have plenty of life experience to generally be untrusting. I try to give people the benefit if there is doubt but I look deep into things. And I'm usually right. I already figured something was up when I didn't hear from her much while she was away I gave her plenty of opportunity to tell me if she wasn't interested but she went with "it's not you, it's me" story and stuck with it. I thought she could have been long term but in the end I really don't care. She wasn't my ideal match but I went with it because I thought she had a bunch of good qualities. It's very hard to find a perfect match.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 725 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill the value of a woman?
Posted: 8/4/2018 7:37:47 PM

I notice the only one mentioning actual numbers was me probably because everyone else has high numbers lmao. Especially the men. Either way if you're going to be slutty that's your decision. I just won't date slutty men. I don't like them.


What if they don't tell you how many women they've been with? It's not like there is a mark on their c*ck every time they have sex with someone new. That would be a problem! :) I think 6 is a low number for a 25 year old. Good for you if you've had less but most probably hit that before they are 21 (or 18). I only had 1 at that age but she was my first and a 5 year relationship.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/4/2018 8:02:04 AM

Why would single dads avoid dating single mums, that's kinda messed up?


I find it hard to date single Moms if the kid's Dad isn't active in their lives. Especially if they are young. The women have to find a sitter instead of knowing they will be free to go out when the kids will be with their Dad.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/4/2018 7:36:20 AM

Are you saying it ended this way because you were a nice guy? Being nice is no guarantee something will work.
She could have blocked you. If you want to check, message me with her user name:)


Kind of. My original question came from my experiences and things that I've seen over the years. This woman would give me tons of compliments then she was off like a light at the end. Maybe the situation she told me about is true. We talked about her Mom not doing well and her elderly Dad doing it all on his own. That was before she left. From our conversation at the end, she feels she might have to move down there to help him. I suggested we continue to spend time together. She said she wasn't into the casual thing. Prefers all or nothing. That's when she said she probably would've continued with us if I wasn't as nice as I am. I deserve better so she doesn't want me (or her) to get hurt. It's like I'm to good to go out with incase she ends up moving but if I was kind of a jerk I'd still good enough to spend time with. She would have went with it and not care as much when it came time to end it a year from now. Looking at it from the other side, I can kind of see that. I've dated people for an extended period of time. I enjoyed being with them but didn't care when we stopped going out. And then there are the few that I really cared about so it was harder when things didn't work out.

Thanks for the offer! I presumed she deleted her profile because our messages are gone. I can still see the messages from women before and after her. I checked to see if I can see her profile while signed in after I read your post. It's still there. Strange...
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/3/2018 10:23:50 PM
/\/\/\/\/\

A few days before she left we made plans for me to pick her up from the airport when she got back then goto her house to make dinner together. She went from being into me to distant in a mater of days. Then she sent this message while she was away -

I wanted to talk to you about us, but know your kids are there, so its hard. I can call you when i get home. I really enjoyed our time together. I will call you Wed.
>>

That's when I found that I didn't have to keep Tuesday evening open for her. I replied telling her my kids weren't with me. Her reply to that was she'd call me Wednesday. That was messed up. She was ready to call and then no. So I had a little fun with it. I sent this message the day she returned -

I want to let you know that I understand conversations like this can sometimes be awkward. We’ve been talking/going out for a few weeks but it seems like much longer. We get along great so I can understand that you probably have strong feelings for me but don’t know if you should say anything because you don’t know how I feel about you. Just go for it and see what happens 🙂

I noticed her profile is deleted. I believe I'd still be able to see our messages on here if it was just hidden. That's another thing, she told me she hid her profile while we were on our second date. She beat me to it. I was going to tell her that I wanted to focus on getting to know her so I was going to hide mine. I've learned to not delete my profile incase things don't work out. Just takes one click to get back into the action.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/3/2018 9:27:26 AM

Yeah, I've gotten the "nice girl" label a few times. A couple guys basically told me that I'm too nice of a person to just sleep with, they told me they are not looking for something serious and don't want to hurt my feelings. To me that translated to I'm boring and not attractive. Its a real kick in the teeth to be told I'm too nice.


If I say that to a woman (and I have), I really do mean she is to nice to just sleep with. And not in a bad way. I've dated woman that I had a good time with but I didn't see them as someone I'd want for a long term relationship. And then there are men and women who just want to have sex then move onto the next one. Those guys probably found that your a great person and thought high enough of you to not want to just get some and go.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/3/2018 7:58:28 AM

The good news is...From reading your posts, I don't think you're a "nice guy." That is, if I don't have you mixed up with someone else here. I think you're the one who posted awhile back you receive unexpected nude pics, and unexpected first date sex sometimes? IIRC you're that poster? True "nice guys" usually don't get much of that. And IIRC you said that you're looking for a LTR but don't turn down first date sex if she's hot to trot, and you're attracted. That isn't being a nice guy, at least in my book. That's being a normal guy. A nice guy probably doesn't get the opportunity for first date sex, and if he does, he misses the signals or flubs it somehow, or even worse, passes on the opportunity because he "wants to get to know her better" ...and wonders why she seems to lose interest after that...and then he complains why women don't like nice guys.

I'd lick your wounds and move on, and don't let the dreaded "nice guy" label cast negativity on your search.


Yup... those posts were from me. I never looked at it that way. Thank you for allowing me to shed my nice guy image!!! :)
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/3/2018 12:13:28 AM

I think your situation's different than your friend's.

Your friend: She's not that into him, very possibly not just because he's "so nice". It happens all the time with guys, where, on the attractiveness level, she could do better -- but he's one of the Nice Guys and he appreciates just being around her and gives her attention, sooooo, she takes advantage of it.

Your situation: You kicked it off fine. She probably got that refreshing "Good Guy" feeling around ya. Sweet. But after contemplating things being away... her Real feelings how she feels about guys sinks in. He's Nice. He's there for me even though I just met him. But I'm not into that, especially not now.

She lost interest. It wasn't like she was going to move in 2 months. Even if she were, if she liked you, she wouldn't be like that. She likes a chase, at the end of the day. You're not it, is my guess. So she kind of gave you a BS response.

I would have just called her out -- not angrily, but called her out on it. As, no, I don't understand what she's saying -- it's basically BS. My guess of what she is Thinking is: "I'm not into Nice Guys, sorry. If you weren't, you could bend me over and peel down my panties and pound me silly... but, you're not that kind of guy and I wish there were more like you out there. But I'm not in the mood for nice, kind guys like you, at the end of the day. I'm really into the guy who wants to bend me over and is a "catch" -- not a guy who's a fish jumping in my boat. Sorry. Good luck in your search!"

PS: It's not because she's moving in the next year or so. She has mixed feelings. She likes and appreciates the Nice Guy in spirit, but, sexually wants a guy who's doesn't exude that. Not all women are like her... but there's at least a Little bit of that in many gals out there.


In the case of my friend, I think she likes the attention. They both play the game. He won't hear from her for awhile then gets a bunch of texts when she knows he's dating someone. He's not keeping a seat warm for her but won't say "no" if he's available and she ever follows though on an offer. It's pretty much turned into a game. He just sits back and watches it play out. He recently called her out on it. He pointed out that she wouldn't be dealing with the BS that she does if they were together. She agreed.

As for my situation. I told her to be honest as we started the conversation. I let her know that I didn't care if she told me she's not into me. No need to sugar coat it. I also told her to tell me if there is something about me she doesn't like. Maybe something that I don't see and I can correct it. Not for her, but for myself to be a better person. She told me a number of times that it's not me. It's her situation. I have pre-teen kids so I wouldn't more if I was dating someone that had to leave the area. Do I believe what she said? It goes either way. Some of it makes sense but... I don't totally believe it. There are plenty of fish so on to the next one.

The word a lot of woman use when they describe me is sweet. I'm really nice to them. I'm not an ***hole to people unless I need to be which is extremely rare. I tend to be attentive, helpful, I give a fair amount of compliments. I let a woman know that I appreciate her but I don't get carried away. I have another side too. I can make anything sound dirty and sex is important to me but that comes with time. There has been times when it happened on the first or second date but I don't mind getting to know a woman and letting things fall into place as she feels comfortable.

Years ago I knew someone who was a contractor. A lot of the guys that worked for him were kind of on the rough side. They either just got out of jail, no license, heavy drinkers, into drugs of a combination of these. He would occasionally hear one of the guys yelling at his girl on the phone. At least once per week. He didn't have a license so she had to pick him up. One day he asked her why she puts up with that. Her response was "You don't know him like I do".
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 8/1/2018 8:41:40 PM
So many woman say they are looking for a nice guy but they always go for the guys that don't treat them well. Or... they say the guy is to nice. Couple examples -

I know a woman who's single. She's friends with a mutual guy friend who's been trying to date her for over 2 years. He's a really, really nice guy. If I had a female friend who was looking for a boyfriend and for some reason I didn't want to date her, I'd definitely suggest him. She knows he likes her and they've talked about it a number of times. She'll send him "good pictures" and they hang out once in awhile. She ends up dating azzholes that treat her like sh*t then she complains about it. She'll stop seeing the guy then go out with someone else like that. Wash and repeat. He's pointed out that she could have had someone that would have treated her great but she keeps going after guys like that so she shouldn't complain.

For me, I met someone from here a few weeks ago. We have a good time and get along great. She went from saying she missed me and couldn't wait to see me again one day to being distant and texting to tell me she wants to talk to me about us the next. That was while she was away visiting family. I gave her a call tonight to see what was on her mind. She has an elderly family member who's health is declining so she might end up having to move in the next year or so. She said she likes me but it wouldn't be fair to continue then one or both of us gets hurt if she moves. She said I'm to nice for that and deserve better. Something else she mentioned during the conversation is she probably would have continued dating me if I wasn't so nice because she wouldn't care as much. That was a facepalm moment. I understand what she's saying but... I just shake my head.

So, do woman really want a nice guy who treats them well or are they more attracted to the guys don't care and won't treat them good?
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Bartender story- advice needed!
Posted: 7/29/2018 8:57:03 AM

Regarding occupations, a bartender is the LAST person you should date if you're unsure of yourself, insecure or have trust issues.


I'd say a stripper is in the #1 position followed by a bartender.

I'm curious to hear how this turns out.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 223 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/28/2018 8:36:38 PM

Boobs don't count. That's apples to oranges. (or grapefruit or melons)


More like melons to bananas. :)
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 220 (view)
 
Dick pics... question for guys and ladies...
Posted: 7/28/2018 8:33:22 AM
A lot of woman don't want to see d*ck pics but most men don't mind getting pictures of boobs. As for the "V", it's okay... but I rather see boobs!

Funny d*ck pic story. I have a female friend who I've know for over 25 years. We've never dated. It's a running joke that we've never kissed or had sex so I mess with her once in awhile. One morning I told her I was going to send her a d*ck pic. She was like "Noooooooo!!!!!!" I told her a lot of people have seen it. No big deal. She was still saying "Nooooooooo!!!". So I did. I sent her a picture of D*ck Clark then asked what she was thinking. :)
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 113 (view)
 
why do do many women have body type = thin
Posted: 7/28/2018 8:18:19 AM
I had a conversation about this with a married female friend. She asked what I consider her body type to be? I told her if she wanted to be honest on a dating site, it would be a few extra pounds. She said she considers herself athletic. She's been a runner for over 30 years and is on a volleyball team. She's have to carry me on a run (she's strong enough to do it too) and would probably beat my ass in volleyball. She had a point. Before that conversation I just considered athletic to be fit and toned. I have a different look at it now.

I think thin, average and a few extra pounds are more obvious but it depends on perception. Someone with an average body type might have a lot of very overweight friends so they look at themselves as being thin.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Do you save stuff like pictures/cards from past relationships?
Posted: 7/28/2018 8:03:17 AM
I've had two long relationships. One was 5 years and the other was 13. I have boxes full of pictures (back when we used to develop them :) ) and cards. I don't want to toss them. Probably because those women were a big part of my life. I've got rid of stuff from women I've dated for a short amount of time. They meant something to me when I received them but had no value after we stopped seeing each other.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When you can depend on them not being dependable...
Posted: 7/25/2018 12:00:37 PM
I'm all done with the woman I mentioned earlier. She would text me everyday until I didn't reply while I was out with a friend one night. I got in late so I texted her the next morning. Told her I went to dinner with a friend then we hung outside for the rest of the night. I didn't hear from her after that. I have a feeling she thinks I was on a date instead of sitting at home. A few days later I met someone from here who is very nice and goes out of her way to see me. Big difference!
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1759 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/25/2018 11:49:20 AM
Why does this whole paying thing have to be so complicated? There are certain qualities we look for in a partner. It might be physical attributes, their interests or other qualities. I don't think many people talk to date about who's going to pay and when. At least in the very beginning. It usually just happens. If one person isn't on the same page then the other person might not want to see them anymore.

Some women feel they should be catered to like a princess so they expect the guy to pay for everything. Good for them if they find a guy who wants to do that. Other women feel they are equal to the person they are dating so they will contribute to possibly building a relationship. Beyond these common examples there are other situations like one person might make a lot more money than the other. I don't think it matters if that person is the male or the woman. I believe they will be more likely to want to pay more because they understand they can easily cover the expenses better than the other person. I've been there and I've seen it happen with other people. Everyone has a right to their opinion and what works for them. No need to force that upon others if they don't share the same values.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1740 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/24/2018 7:30:51 PM

Edited....to state The Pig and The Princess are both gone...


I must have missed some good posts while I wasn't on the board for a few days.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1730 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/24/2018 2:50:51 PM
We've talked about the next time we get together. It will be at her house or mine for dinner. Like you said, it kind of turns into doing other things besides going out to eat after a few dates.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1727 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/24/2018 2:26:03 PM
Sharing my recent dating experience. I messaged a women on here. She replied a little while after. We exchanged messages throughout the day then I asked if she would like to get together the next evening. She said yes. We went out for dinner at a nice restaurant on the water so we could watch the sunset while we talked. The location was mostly towards me which was about a 30 minute drive for her. I paid. Our second date was Sunday evening. I had my kids last weekend so we were getting together after I dropped them off. The ride to do that is about 80 minutes round trip. She suggested meeting in my area so I wouldn't have to drive further after I dropped them off so we met at my house to a restaurant nearby. I was going to pay when the waitress dropped the check off but she grabbed it and said "I got this. You paid last time". No only did she drive to my area so I wouldn't have to do more driving, she also paid for our second dinner. I thought that was really nice and considerate of her. We went out again last night. Explored her area then dinner. I took care of that.

We've both hid our profiles on here so I'll see what happens.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Why did you message the last person you messaged?
Posted: 7/18/2018 10:17:40 PM
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ I added new (recent) pics earlier this year. Time was tight tonight so we're meeting for dinner tomorrow night. I'll see how the conversation goes then decide if I'll tell her we talked before.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 364 (view)
 
Feminine traits
Posted: 7/18/2018 10:11:00 PM
It's interesting to see the differences between women and men. A lot of women will not respond or block a guy who calls her honey, babe etc... but most guys welcome things like that. Taking that a step further, most women don't want d*ck pics. I don't know of a guy who has complained about getting pictures of topless bOObs.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 1589 (view)
 
Paying for a date
Posted: 7/18/2018 3:52:57 PM
I usually don't post links here so I don't know if this will work. I follow this person on Facebook. He gives relationship advice. Today's video is about who pays on a date -

https://www.facebook.com/derrickjaxn1/videos/1162980707188581/
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why did you message the last person you messaged?
Posted: 7/18/2018 3:51:07 PM
For the message I sent earlier, I thought she was pretty (and she is :) ). That carried over to the other pics in her profile. Very limited info though. She rather get to know someone in person. She replied, we messaged back and forth for about 30 minutes. I suggested meeting for dinner tonight. She's going to have company but we might get together for drinks after that. Or tomorrow evening. I never delete text messages. They go back for years. We exchanged numbers a little while ago. I then realized we messaged/talked on the phone two years ago. Almost went out but she said she didn't think we'd be a match because I'm not close to my parents. I don't think she remembers me.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 13 (view)
 
When you can depend on them not being dependable...
Posted: 7/16/2018 6:12:19 PM

I guess I was right? Your opening post didn't mention any of this. Sounds like you were trying to date her in hopes of it going somewhere eventually? That was what I gathered.

Why even pay for dates if she's sleeping with other dudes? Let some other sucker pay for dinner and you get dessert.

Thank you for clarifying.


We dated for a month the beginning of last Summer. That faded away because she wasn't dependable. She contacted me out of the blue last month. Said she has been thinking about me and missed me so we started talking again. We went out once since then. She'll text me throughout the day and say good morning and good night most days (I message her too). I've put less time into that lately because I don't see this going anywhere. Last night I told her I told her I enjoy her company and like talking to her but I don't think she has time to date. She said I was right. Sometimes she doesn't I'm not going to cut things yet. If we go out, fine. If not, no big deal. I'm not going to make her a priority. Even the good looking woman get moved down the ladder sometimes...
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is there any interest on her part?
Posted: 7/14/2018 7:26:45 PM
I'd suggest doing something that can be taken either way (out as friends or as a date) then see how it goes if she says yes. That's worked for me many times.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
When you can depend on them not being dependable...
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:35:34 PM
She's made friends with my headboard a few times too! I'm find with getting stock photos and being part of the bullpen. It goes both ways. Casual dating is okay but it doesn't require texting everyday. The amount of communication should match the amount of time we see each other.
 Endless_Summer_Nights
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
When you can depend on them not being dependable...
Posted: 7/14/2018 8:11:57 AM
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Yup! You nailed it! She's a good looking woman who keeps me interested by texting pictures of what I'll be playing with when I see her again. I don't have any other options that I'm interested in so I deal with it for now. And I make two sets of plans. One with her and the one I'll most likely be doing.

I've also dated someone who was always late. I'd let her know when I was 10 minutes away from our meeting place near her house. She'd reply with "I'm on the way". Then I'd wait at least 10 minutes when I got there. I later found she lived less than 5 minutes down the street. I don't do well with people who don't respect other people's time.
 
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