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 Author Thread: Showing initial interest and its effect on relationships
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Showing initial interest and its effect on relationships
Posted: 3/11/2010 7:57:35 PM
I wouldn't say that women more discriminate, just a lot better at it!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is It A Deal Breaker?
Posted: 3/11/2010 7:54:33 PM
That's some pretty serious honesty, but not a situation for the faint of heart.

I would think your own doubts are cause enough pass him over.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Husband Down...
Posted: 3/11/2010 7:45:59 PM
...and that is a good example of why women prefer hard liquor over beer.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Loseing Interest
Posted: 2/21/2010 10:34:06 PM
Dag nabit, *Sanscheyle*, you could be right and I would be inclined to suggest that depression could be a plausible reason in which faith and patience could see him through with the right professional help.

But dispite this guy's conscious need to change theres just no evidence that he feels any romorse for his condition. You can be sure that had he tried to make plausible excues, she would have been eager to make light of them in his defense.

Of course, this is only an opinion void of facts, but to me he just sounds like a slob coming into his own!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Loseing Interest
Posted: 2/21/2010 10:20:17 PM
Sounds like you need to learn the old Texas Two Step with a twist.

Step one, take a deep breath, read your own post and move on.

Step two, if don't feel inclined to move on, repeat step one until you realize this is who he is and he's not inclined to change!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
How do I get (politely) out of a threesome
Posted: 2/21/2010 10:06:58 PM
From what I've read, some form sexual incompatabilty is the most common reason for divorce.

By all means yes, this could become a "major" problem, especially seeing that you've already made it clear that it's not an option and he's still persisting.

Rather you're tactful or blunt, you need to impress upon this man that if he can't respect your interests, he's going to be free to have all the women he wants and you won't be one of them!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Phone Sex
Posted: 2/21/2010 9:56:29 PM
Me thinks you've answered your own questions, he's just getting off on you when he's horny and you aren't happy with it...respect yourself and cut him loose!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Pay after sex
Posted: 2/21/2010 9:51:33 PM
Does she stand on the street corners at night???

Too bad you didn't have some monopoly money on hand.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 158 (view)
 
Deodorant, perfume and cologne: Do we really need 'em?
Posted: 2/21/2010 9:39:08 PM
I tend to think it's all relative in a way that there may not be right anwers.

Some men like women to smell sweet and some like them pungent. Some women like their men smelling fresh and some like them musky.

Sometimes I think Americans are obsessive with other peoples preferences and sometimes I happen upon people who really need to shower and wear deoderant!

I like a nice a perfume as much as the next guy, but I also knew a gal whose natural odor was quite aromatic. Myself, I grew up around sailors and Old Spice has been my choice ever since.

Botton line is, hygiene, health and what you eat or drink are major factors in what could be considered natural and what is just plain raunchy!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
 
I love large breasts, am I wrong for asking?
Posted: 2/21/2010 9:19:37 PM
This is 21st century America and there is certainly nothing wrong with being so expressive in an honest way...just be careful what you ask for!

You just might find the woman of your dreams who actually enjoys that sort of blunt attention, but I dare say that you will endure a great deal of scorn from women who want men to show more tact in their interests!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/21/2010 8:47:23 PM
Thanks Alooo, I couldn't agree more.

First of all, I've often quoted Mark Twain in saying that there are lies, damned lies and statistics! Bottom line is, stats are what you make of them. If this gal is approaching life pessimistically, then she will find dispair. If she opens her mind to possibilities, then she is more likely to happen unto a good thing.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Has love become a four-letter word?
Posted: 2/20/2010 6:18:32 PM
I agree, it's quite over used and in frivious ways, but it's still just as alive and well as ever!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 6:13:24 PM
There are over 300 million people in the US alone , about half are men, x number are availible, etc, etc, etc...

I'm sure by the time we narrowed those stats down you would find more men that meet your criteria then you could shake a stick at, but taking such a pessimistic view of things is a good way to ensure they remain elusive. Maybe you should refraise your question to ask where and how they can be found.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
At Our Age Do You Date to Date or Find a Mate?
Posted: 2/18/2010 9:58:58 PM
1965 Ford Custom 500...lol

I don't care to date just to be dating. When I go on a date with a girl it's usually because I think there may be relationship material. Otherwise I might take a gal to lunch just to get to know here better, but that's not really a date...
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 127 (view)
 
How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying?
Posted: 2/17/2010 11:19:11 PM
Stats seem to show that sexual imcompatability is a major factor in divorce, so your apprehension is well founded.

Maybe it was just anxiety on her part, but who can argue with your notion to end things before the two of you got too attached. Ouch, no easy decsion! Honesty is good and yet if it were a case of anxiety that could just make her worse...ouch, another tough call. Her lashing out at you like that could mean just as well, or she just may not be able to deal with hurt and rejection....after all, loving her despite everything could bring out the best in her and change everything...couseling might help too...but if it fails then you are more attached and in a less satified situation...

There are no easy or right answers here, but ending the relationship sounds like erring on the side of caution and sometimes that's just the best we can do!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
What's the difference between affectionate and clingy?
Posted: 2/17/2010 9:31:53 PM
It seems pretty relative to me...

if the other person enjoys your attention, it's affection,

if he or she is annoyed with you, it's clingy!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 1310 (view)
 
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/13/2010 10:48:21 PM
It's certainly possible, though the line between fantasy and intuition can be a tough read .
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Meet and then just text?
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:37:40 PM
Sounds like he's just not interested or maybe needs to slow down. You might give him a little space and time and if things done improve, then think about moving on.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Should I tell him I'm not interested?
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:35:20 PM
Some would tell you to say so and others might tell you to just ignore him. There is no right answer, you need to find your own way of letting people down. One thing is for sure, you shouldn't keep going along in a way that may lead him on. Best of wishes.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do you think I was too harsh?
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:31:27 PM
I suppose as long as there are women who respond to that sort of thing these men will try to dish it out, you think?
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Guys..would you still be interested in a past relationship?
Posted: 12/27/2009 4:25:28 PM
If a relationship wanes, it's usually for a good reason. Sometimes it may've just been at the wrong time and why can't the second time around be a charm?
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Young engaged woman needs advice...
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:36:58 PM
Based on what you've told us, you're reservation about getting married is quite justified. You're still very young, so there's really not hurry to get married. I would think at some point you need to talk to him about your concerns and see how he responds and utimately deals with them. If you don't see good reason to believe things will get better, getting married probably would be a bad idea. If those things bother you now enough to ask for advise, in time they could become resentment. Best of wishes and feel free to email if you want to talk more.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:29:57 PM
I think it always changes how we feel... it's how we deal with those feelings that's important.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What do i do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:20:18 PM
Sometimes we give our own best advice...if he's what you hope for he'll be worth waiting for...
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What's up with him?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:14:28 PM
Of course, we can only speculate with so little info. The best you can do I think is to just ask him in an casual way. Cheers
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Talking in your sleep
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:56:36 PM
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen! He may not even be aware of the what would cause him to say certain things in his sleep, so if you're not prepared to deal with it in a mature way you should leave it alone. Otherwise, you could tell him that your curious about what he says and see how he feels about you listening in.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Should I trust this guy?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:50:51 PM
If you don't have any more confidence in him than that, you certainly don't need to be getting involved with him. I mean, even if it turns out that you had read too far into things, how can he feel secure always wondering if you trust his answers?
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:46:05 PM
Not all, especially seeing that you share a common sense of maturity. I think a cougar is an older gal who deliberately chases after younger guys for their youth even if they aren't equals...
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
I am confused as to what I need to do.
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:32:29 PM
I think few couples ever realize an equality of love early on, but you go into a relationship with the confidence that you will grow on each other and find a happy balance. Such indecision would be cause for concern even if you lived in the same town, I would not close a long distance relationship in light of his insecurity.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Could Not tonight honey, I have a headache soon become an obsolete phrase?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:18:16 PM
May not get over the headache, but if you can deal with the pain long enough for the release of endorphines it sure can lend to a few moments of sweet escape. :)
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Should we try to love someone unconditionally?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:13:42 PM
Unconditional love is a journey, not a destination. New cliche???

I say that because few if any of us could ever reach that in it's purest form, but we should always strive to love more unconditionally, even if it means learning to temper it with prudence...for example, though we may learn not to be resentful against somebody who repeatedly does the same thing, it doesn't mean we keep giving the rope to do it again! SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 181 (view)
 
Friendship First
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:06:17 PM
Really nice notion for thought, but every couple would need set a flexible time frame that best suits their charater. On the otherhand, there are those are more inclined to be open with each other as they get closer and a prolonged friendship only holds them back! SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Competing with a dead spouse.
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:51:02 PM
Your points do cause me to pause and reflect, but I can say that from a similar experience sometimes a person just isn't aware of what they are doing. When I moved past a woman I'd had a close connection to, my new gal pointed this out and almost immeadiately I was able to avoid making those sort of references.

Loosing somebody through death is generally different in that neither party sought the seperation. Nevertheless, I've taken the matter to heart and I generally avoid making references to my late fiancee and our life together unless it"s pertinent to the discussion or I'm asked.

Simply put, some guys may just need a gentle nudge.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/18/2009 12:07:59 AM
Damn, one had best be careful what they ask for! Btw, is that Jake in the side or corner pocket? lol
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/17/2009 10:51:43 PM
Work, you betcha! We all have stories about getting through divorce or shady plumbers. If you're going to have a talk show about your experiences then you're going to have to find a way to draw us in and entertain us. After all, just as I was poking fun at titles, I left the door open for you to "spew" at some issues. So, lighten up and show us what you've got and we'll give you plenty of subject matter to entertain yourself with!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/17/2009 9:11:53 PM
Of course, I was just playing on the pool table analogy and not serious. Maybe I'm being too modest for your entertainment.

So, give us an example of the sorta soap you feel like spewing...
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/17/2009 8:28:09 PM
Are you taking suggestions for a title for your talk show didy. How about "Rack'em up with Q Ball" or "Jenny in the Side Pocket!" lol

What in the world is so entertaining about packing...or am I falling for some wee hours of the morning sarcasm?
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/17/2009 12:20:34 AM
They say ignorance is bliss...hey, I'm a male you know!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/17/2009 12:13:29 AM
Aw, come on Jenny, have a heart. Everything after midnight and few drinks is funny!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/16/2009 11:42:42 PM
Not only a ticket for being nerdy, but chatting is an offense too. One more stike and they will relegate the both of us as well as your thread into forum oblivion. So, here's to having fun while it lasts.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/16/2009 11:25:33 PM
Answering our own posts are we...now that's what I called bored out of your freaking mind.
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/16/2009 10:38:34 PM
Opps, spoke too soon! It would seem we are offered the chance to vote after you post. I was deleted for a similiar reason when I was being very sincere. Sadly, it would seem that there are those who are too quick to judge when at other times I've seen blantantly meaningless issuses that just go on and on. So much for jury by our peers!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 99 (view)
 
HUGE victory in California today for the rights of gun owners :)
Posted: 5/16/2009 10:31:51 PM
What a hot potater. I grew up around guns and served in the Marine Corps, but like Tom Hanks said after making "Saving Private Ryan," I'm glad I never had to point a gun at anybody with the intent of shooting!

On the up side, even if Japan had of invaded our mainland during WW2, they would've never gotten past the coastal states because for every soldier they could've put on shore, we could've put 10 or 20 armed citizens. On the otherhand, we are a culture of violence. I read some statistics a while back that said for that year thousands of under age kids were killed with guns while in Canada and Europe the number was neglible.

I'm a staunch believer in our right to keep and bear arms, but neither am I riding any bandwagons!
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Bored out of my freaking mind,entertain me ,lol
Posted: 5/16/2009 10:17:14 PM
Montrose is the place you need to be.

The voting thingy is over now, so I guess it's okay to sulk. lol When I first came to Houston several years ago I could wait to plan my escape. Then I met a gal who showed me around this community just minutes from downtown and I would have never imagined. It's like small town Europe with a wide range of people, more outdoor eating than you can shake a stick at and one very romantic outdoor theater. We also have a theater and museum districts, oh yea, and the beach is less than an hour away! I don't often take advantage of these things, but it's just fun to just be around so much life and energy. Cheers
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
why did he not respond, even just to let me know he wasnt into me?
Posted: 5/16/2009 1:04:51 PM
Such is the world of internet dating, but don't let it get the best of you. There're plenty of nice guys who will. SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does anyone deserve a second chance?
Posted: 5/16/2009 1:02:31 PM
They may deserve a second chance if they've made honest mistakes, but treat you poorly...they can change and I'm not just talking about an apology. Unless you have a compelling reason to give this person a lot of time to prove better, it's just as well that you moved on to greener pastures. SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
People of Internet Dating Land tell me what do you think!!!
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:08:48 PM
I don't want a long distance relationship anymore than you. This is just a means to an end of hooking up with somebody and the internet offers us far more opportunities than those we might meet locally in person. Otherwise, I've enjoyed just getting aquainted with so many women and have made a few friends along the way that I will meet if we cross that bridge. For the most part, this is what you make of it and it's not for everybody! SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
male opinions please :)
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:58:56 PM
I'm just not inclined to thing he's in another relationship of significance, but there does seem to be an issue. If you are that much into him you should just ask him about his interest and why he doesn't ask you out. SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Im lost???
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:51:59 PM
You're only looking for one, so don't worry about the rest as long as you aren't rude or offensive and the right kind of guys will appreciate that! SD
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why do guy's think I'm lying or tricking them when I say I don't want commitment?
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:49:27 PM
And there you have it! Many men just don't understand women, so they try to redefine women in their own delusion. Hang in there and look for the sort of guys who want to know more about you and then actually begin you see you in that light. SD
 
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