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 Author Thread: Why do woman just leave a conversation hanging in the middle of it.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why do woman just leave a conversation hanging in the middle of it.
Posted: 4/6/2017 3:05:46 AM
Why do people try to have "conversations" via the intermittent exchange of text messages? If someone wants an ongoing exchange of thoughts with me, they are going to have to pick up the phone. I lose interest very quickly if someone wants me to go back and forth talking in text. Ick.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 20 (view)
 
The distance dilemma
Posted: 3/29/2017 7:00:12 AM
Ouija... my daughter is in Kelowna right now. Just a few weeks away from finishing up a semester of Uni there. She says it's lovely!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Girlfriend assaulted by POF member- please help.
Posted: 3/24/2017 5:15:44 PM
Site staff very very rarely come into the forums. Keep emailing until you get a response. Twice or more a day if you have to. They do tend to respond if they notice a repeat emailer. I believe there is a phone number also but not sure how easy it is to find.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Can I hide profiles I don't want to appear in my search?
Posted: 3/16/2017 4:43:41 AM
You can use adblock to prevent specific pics from appearing. If you have adblock installed, just right click on the photo and select "block element".
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I cannot wait to meet him, odd or no?
Posted: 3/16/2017 4:33:39 AM
It's not weird but it's not really sensible. Nothing is real until you meet. I've learned not to get excited before I meet my dates and I also don't really trust a man who will express extreme interest prior to meeting me.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Types of First dates you have been on
Posted: 3/3/2017 10:46:08 PM
The most often cited opinion is that first meets are just that. They are not "dates". People are almost always advised to meet for coffee or a drink, or a walk through a park for a first meet. For men, who generally pay for at least the first couple of dates, it can be very expensive to keep paying for dates that don't go past the first one.

You need to choose to date how it suits you. I don't do the coffee or drink dates for first meets. I hate them. It feels like an interview. However, I only accept (or offer) date invitations once I've established some rapport through messages and/or phone calls. I also only agree to an inexpensive restaurant (say less than $30 for two) and I also make a genuine offer to either pay for dinner or dessert/drinks or 50/50.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are Women on POF Just Looking For a Ego Boost ?
Posted: 3/3/2017 10:38:15 PM
The way it works is..... you get to manage your pof account however you want to (within the TOS of the site of course), and, surprisingly, other people get to manage their pof accounts however they want to.

You are placing expectations on these women that are nothing to do with you. They are entitled to view profiles openly, that's the way most people DO view profiles actually.

Why are you assuming they are not contacting you just because they are viewing profiles while bored? It's also possible they didn't like what they read, yes?

How is their ego being boosted by letting you know they viewed your profile but not contacting you?

Just ignore the views, ignore the Meet Mes, choose to just respond if someone messages you and don't worry about anything else.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Just learned she is pregnant with another man's child!
Posted: 2/26/2017 6:49:32 PM

I don't believe she was going to tell me about it until further into this possible relationship. And I essentially (unknowingly) forced it out of her.
I think you are being really naive. If she didn't want you to know she had no need to tell you. She could easily have said "my back hurts, I think I slept in a weird position". The only reason you know is because she *wanted* you to know.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
If I am not interested in dating you, I also don't want to be friends with you!
Posted: 2/26/2017 6:42:47 PM
I am platonic friends with 3 men I've met from here over the years. Great mates they are too. But that's me, and I'm open to platonic friendships. You aren't, so make it clear either in your profile or in response to their "let's be friends" message. Lots of people hoping to make some friends if a romantic relationship isn't on offer. I'm not sure why the mere suggestion of it offends you so much but just answer their question and move on.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 45 (view)
 
What good things has Trump accomplished?
Posted: 2/25/2017 4:16:01 AM
He has finally given me the motivation to use Twitter. It's both fascinating and terrifying to read the tweets especially from the rogue White House "insider" accounts.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 17 (view)
 
And your preference is?
Posted: 2/23/2017 1:06:06 AM

Years??? That should raise a few eyebrows.
Why? That would be making a judgement without enough evidence to legitimately do so. People come on and off the site over the years. Some of us keep a profile just so we can access the forums mostly, with the odd foray to the dating side of things if someone catches our interest, or we catch theirs.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Past dating disasters spilled on the table on first date
Posted: 2/18/2017 8:51:18 PM
forumslady.. I don't do coffee dates either. Too much like an interview. I only go on dates where I'm already sure we'll be able to have a conversation for two hours without the need for either of us to do a runner.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Is there a way to send a question to PoF staff?
Posted: 2/18/2017 8:38:43 PM
It is safe to assume that pof saved you from a scammer. Be grateful.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Can't get any responses to my e-mails
Posted: 2/16/2017 2:05:35 PM

Anything else?
You are only allowed to seek profile assistance in the Profile Review Forum. Also, a few of the really good reviewers only check in that forum for profile review requests so it's the place to go to get the widest range of advice.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can't get any responses to my e-mails
Posted: 2/16/2017 2:32:44 AM
Do a forum thread search (on the main forum page) for terms like "first message" or "first messages". There are many threads with lots of useful suggestions that might help you.

Most women don't like getting three word messages. Have a read through the forums and try a couple of different approaches until you find the one that works for you.

Also, consider seeking a profile review in the Profile Review Forum. I haven't looked at your profile but it can't hurt to seek feedback.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Constructive Feedback?
Posted: 2/16/2017 2:29:28 AM

Is there anything I need to improve with my profile?
Post in the Profile Reviews Forum for help.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Found vagina selfies in girlfriend's phone.
Posted: 2/14/2017 6:39:29 AM

OP, unless she had a tiny camera snake up her vagina, I doubt she has any vagina selfies.

If indeed this posting is not just a 'good story bro', it might behoove you to actually research terms for women's so-called private parts---vulva, labia--- major/ minor, clitoris, pudenda, etc.
Thank you. Thank you. I am so tired of people not knowing the correct terms for female genitalia that I've actually conceded defeat and can't even bring myself to correct them anymore. Just to be clear everyone, the vagina is internal. Why are people so scared of saying "vulva"?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Catfished and threatened by a user...
Posted: 2/12/2017 7:03:00 PM

She may say she doesn't wear them, but she should still know her size or that the sizes don't run that way.
I don't wear pantyhose and have no idea how the sizes work. More importantly though, I would think it was extremely rude if a man asked me that question. I'm assuming you are trolling with this advice...???
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Can the Top Prospects be cleared?
Posted: 2/12/2017 6:55:13 PM
No.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Catfished and threatened by a user...
Posted: 2/11/2017 9:45:49 PM
I'd be interested to know where you saw that it was ok to post a pic of someone's profile? It is strictly against the forum rules to identify other users in the forums by name, so I'm sure you can't post their profiles.

There are no moderators, no publicised ones at least.

Send all info to csr@pof.com.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Any Right-wing females out there?
Posted: 2/10/2017 2:08:44 AM
I've never found politics to be a big issue in Australia. Elections come and go, the conversation about is minimal in my world. Differences of opinion are low key. I've never ever asked someone what their political leanings are with a view to determining if I want to date them. Having said that, if I met someone and they announced they were a Hanson supporter, it would colour my opinion of them and I probably wouldn't date them, but pretty much any other of the major parties wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't date someone who felt they needed to continually preach to me about their political leanings though. I would expect them to respect my preferences as I would theirs.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Need your profile rating? Want some feedback?
Posted: 2/6/2017 8:02:21 PM
I hope the first piece of advice you give out is to make sure that you don't violate any site rules with your profile or profile pics.

You know, like making sure you are in every photo and don't post shirtless pics.

And also not to lie, like about your age or something like that.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 44 (view)
 
When should a woman help pay for dates?
Posted: 2/4/2017 4:08:00 PM
I am more impressed by a man who happily accepts my offer to pay then by a man who refuses to allow me to, or is horrified at the thought. I don't make an issue of it on a first date, but we wouldn't get to date three if me contributing was going to be an ongoing issue for him. Being "allowed" to pay for ice creams or drinks wouldn't cut it for me. I need to feel that I am contributing equally (depending on our individual financial circumstances, ie if he is really wealthy, he can take us to the expensive restaurants if he wants to, I will take us to the inexpensive restaurants).
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
If a guy talks about sex a lot with you is that ALL he's looking for with you?
Posted: 2/3/2017 6:13:30 PM
I'm a touch confused, I have to say. Possibly this is answered in the wordy OP that I skimmed over, but, surely it takes two to have a conversation? If you are engaging in sex talk why is it surprising that he keeps going back to that activity. It's fun, it's exciting, and you seem to enjoy it. Why would he stop?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 22 (view)
 
When should a woman help pay for dates?
Posted: 2/3/2017 5:29:51 PM

Where you seem to have gone wrong was when she offered to help pay on the first date, you told her no. Now you are annoyed that she hasn't offered since.
This +100.

I see this so often in the forums. Macho man insists on paying for first (or first few) dates, and then gets all bent out of shape because she thinks he is going to keep doing it. It's standard "bait and switch" guys. Don't play the knight in shining armour if you don't intend to keep doing it UNLESS you add a disclaimer.

eg... I had a first date last weekend. He wanted to go for coffee or drinks but I don't do those types of dates so I suggested sharing a pizza at an inexpensive waterside restaurant I know of. By the time the date rolled around, we had talked on the phone a couple of times (an hour or so each time) so I was quite comfortable being forthright with him. So when it came time to order (and pay) for the pizza, I said "I'm happy for you to go and place the order but I'd like to pay" and handed him my card. He said "why?" and I said "because I was the one that wanted dinner over drinks AND you've taken the night off work for this so I think that's fair". He said "ok well if things go well I'll take to you to the casino for dinner next time and it's my treat".

So, men, next time she makes what you deem to be the "token" offer to pay, say straight away "Thank you that's very sweet, but it's fine, my treat, you can get the desserts/drinks/pay next time if you like" with a genuine smile and then immediately move the conversation on to something else.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
DEAR AUSTRALIA
Posted: 2/3/2017 1:41:53 AM
Wilkes I appreciate your comments and I hope this thread stays on topic and doesn't descend into a Trump supporters vs non supporters thread.

I was at lunch today with several work colleagues and the subject of Trump came up. I mentioned this thread and was not really surprised to hear others talk of receiving similar apologies from their American friends/acquaintances.

It *is* a shock to suddenly be treated with such blunt disrespect.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
DEAR AUSTRALIA
Posted: 2/2/2017 4:07:22 AM
Thank you. It's a confusing and concerning time for sure.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
locked out of account 1 day after making, multiple times for no good reason. why?!
Posted: 1/29/2017 5:39:35 AM

It's really strange that I've been on here (with the odd break) since 2005
and I've never had one issue with the site 'machinery'.
........odd that............
Same.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
locked out of account 1 day after making, multiple times for no good reason. why?!
Posted: 1/29/2017 12:33:51 AM
email customer support at csr@pof.com
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Cut communication for a week or two and try again or just move on?
Posted: 1/28/2017 5:12:07 PM
You made the effort to travel to her city and she is too precious to plan a couple of activities, or even just have suggestions for activities? Do you really want to be that guy for the rest of your life (or the next months even) that has to decide EVERYTHING? Trust me, that will get old very fast? I assume she is hot to be worth all this effort on your part?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Delete every one of my threads and posts
Posted: 1/28/2017 2:31:00 PM
You signed up to the site and clicked that you agreed to the Terms and Conditions. One of those conditions is that your posts can't be deleted. There are no moderators in the forums.

Write to csr@pof.com for assistance. Be patient, and do not have high expectations.

You have no grounds for suing pof.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Can not register/sign up
Posted: 1/28/2017 3:48:36 AM
You already have this profile and you aren't allowed to have more than one (site rules).
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Message disappeared after user deleted account
Posted: 1/28/2017 3:46:51 AM
It's actually against the forum rules to mention other users in your post, so it's possible this post will be removed. Officially there aren't any forum moderators but I do notice that some forum rules appear to be routinely enforced.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Message disappeared after user deleted account
Posted: 1/27/2017 9:46:46 PM
It's possible they regretted the message and blocked you so all messages disappeared THEN they deleted their profile.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ladies anyone receiving messages from other women on the site?
Posted: 1/26/2017 11:16:18 PM
You have that you are seeking men in the top section of your profile but this doesn't stop women from messaging you. Go to Edit Profile, Mail Settings, and put a gender restriction in place.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Delete every one of my threads and posts
Posted: 1/26/2017 11:14:22 PM
I am sorry you lost your job but at the bottom of every post "box", right next to the "Post" button, is this message "Anything you post can not be deleted." Statistically speaking, you have about 1% chance of your posts being deleted because of OP regret.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Has the Women's March affected your relationship?
Posted: 1/23/2017 7:20:15 PM

wow..so you are the typical blonde white woman who voted for Trump? got it! I bet you let your husband beat and rape you too...I bet you tell your daughter that it is her fault is she is raped or assaulted huh? you are garbage and a disgrace
These are awful things to say Robyn. Really really awful.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
FRAUDULENT PROFILE ASKING FOR MONEY
Posted: 1/23/2017 7:17:07 PM
It's actually against the site rules to name other people in the forums. pof will get around to removing his profile, in the meantime everyone is expected to use common sense when complete strangers ask them for money.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Friends with an ex? Need advice
Posted: 1/23/2017 1:18:16 AM
My ex husband (and his now wife) are very good friends of mine. Other exes, all bare one, I stayed on great terms with and would, and will, always give them a big hug when I see them. But it took time. Not months, possibly years, to transition to a genuine friendship. Two months is way too soon, in my experience.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 31 (view)
 
What do you think of my profile?
Posted: 1/23/2017 1:11:20 AM
I like Aussiebythebay's version too Natalie, it's friendlier. I understand your frustrations with having to spell things out to men. I am so often tempted to write things on my profile stating exactly what I don't want but it's impossible to do that without sounding like a drama queen/princess or negative. Positive, positive, positive is the way to go. I've had my biggest disappointments from the men who presented themselves as being the sort of guy I was looking for only to find after a few dates that they were just playing a game after all. It happens to all of us. You just need to persevere and be prepared to move on when you realise he is a cad.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
In a awkward not good situation with a girl I like!! Please help me!!!
Posted: 1/22/2017 9:46:26 PM
For those that don't want to read all of the OP..The girl he sat next to in class last term didn't sit next to him this term BUT has a spare seat next to her that he could easily move to because it is better for seeing the screen in class. He doesn't know what to do about this problem.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Scammers
Posted: 1/22/2017 3:38:21 PM

.they are NOT usually military personnel..but people pretending to be military. Big difference.
EXACTLY what I was going to say.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Kink shamimg
Posted: 1/21/2017 8:06:00 PM

Are you sure I misspelled?
Yep.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
What do you think of my profile?
Posted: 1/21/2017 6:42:57 PM
One profile review request per person. That is the rule. Most regular profile reviewers will not respond here. If everyone posted a new thread each time they made changes, the forum would be a complete mess. Also, it helps reviewers to see what suggestions have been made in the past and whether you've acted on them.

I love your new main profile pic, btw.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Review Please
Posted: 1/21/2017 6:40:36 PM
The spelling and grammar is killing you. Copy and paste into Word and tidy it up. As for your heading "repeatly" is not a word.

You need to give attention to the details of your profile otherwise it looks sloppy and as if you aren't taking it seriously. Would you submit a job application with all those errors in it, or would you seek help to get it looking good?
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Gender default on profile thumbnails
Posted: 1/21/2017 5:40:12 PM

I'm only posting this because I love it when people give declaratory statements. I try to avoid that
A declaratory statement would be one that purports to declare or explain - why would you avoid those? And you don't think "You're an ASS Markus" is declaratory?

Why are you so angry? And rude when I was just offering you some information.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Gender default on profile thumbnails
Posted: 1/20/2017 10:56:38 PM
Markus doesn't own the site anymore.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Early Stages of Dating - Texting
Posted: 1/19/2017 12:14:32 AM
I am opposed to the notion that someone else sending me a text imposes a requirement on me to respond in their timeframe. Having said that, aside from not responding during working hours, and not carrying my phone in my hand 24/7, I usually reply as soon as it is convenient, or necessary, to do so.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Changing stats on her profile?
Posted: 1/18/2017 6:33:18 PM

I'm just wondering what going from "wanting a relationship" to "dating but nothing serious" means.
It means she used to want a relationship but now she only wants casual dating. Is this anything to do with you? Possibly. Perhaps she isn't *really really* keen on you so she wants to make sure you don't think she's about to start a relationship with you. Perhaps she sees you as just being a FB or FWB. Perhaps she really really likes you and wants to have a buffer for any other men that might be contacting her.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is he just a busy bee and will come around or wasting my time
Posted: 1/18/2017 1:44:44 PM
If he doesn't have time to even meet up with you, how on earth is he going to have time to properly date you? I'm so confused why you would be even considering this????
 
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