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 Author Thread: Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Over 60 : what is attractive to you?
Posted: 11/9/2010 10:56:28 AM
More mature people realize that the people in their dating pool aren't going to be perfect specimens but they also may have discovered that beauty is only skin deep. (Except the men who are 50-60 and are seeking women between 20-40.....don't know what the h*ll they are thinking.) I hate men's profiles that say they are "looking for a good woman" but then go on to specify that she must be young and thin and gorgeous and love sports and have a great job and want sex 24/7.....and be their trophy wife. Yes, everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes and physical attraction is important. There just may be someone out there who you've overlooked because you aren't taking the time to see what's "inside" the person.

I am most attracted to a great smile, which indicates happiness and humor. Kindness, courtesy, morals and responsibility are also key. Physical appearance, beyond cleanliness, is way on down the list. I have a friend who is married to a man who might be considered ugly (by most standards) but he is the sweetest, funniest and most devoted husband I can think of.....his personality makes him one of the most attractive men I've ever met. (Don't worry, I'm not after him.) I'm just saying that there are plenty of fish.....er, people.... who might not catch your eye initially but once you get to know them, you realize you have found a diamond....in the rough, perhaps but still a diamond!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Ladies that don't iron
Posted: 11/9/2010 10:21:19 AM
"Do men really want a housekeeper/carer or are they interesting in our scintillating conversations and other female attributes?"

Sometimes you can tell from what is a man's profile as to what you can expect. Example~If a man is a widower and goes on about his deceased wife being the love of his life and how much he misses her, then no woman will EVER meet up to his expectations. If you can't tell from his profile that he seems needy and possibly in search of a housekeeper/caregiver then a few dates should allow you to see what's in store for the future. You said he dropped "hints" and even TOLD you he wanted someone to look after him ....that was your sign, love! What I don't understand is why HE ended the relationship and not YOU!

When people are dating it's easy to think of the romance, the companionship, fun, sex, the "scintillating conversations".....but after the honeymoon period, a LTR will eventually lead to living together and/or marriage and all the household chores that go with it. Perhaps some men just want to cut to the chase and not waste their time with a woman who doesn't want to iron, clean or nursemaid. And perhaps some women are looking for someone to take care of....a match for them, at least.

IMO everyone wants the conversations, companionship, benefits and falling in love. Then you have a foundation to put up with the chores and obligations that you may not enjoy but you do it because you love that person.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Do most women love dating guys with lots of flaws, so they can fix them?
Posted: 11/7/2010 8:13:07 AM
I think you were trying to HELP her, rather than fix/change her....a big difference. It's admirable that you didn't just walk away....you must have loved her. The only issue I see with your scenerio is that if you had taken more time getting to know her before the committment (packing up and moving) you would have been aware of her problem. You need to "build something together" a little bit at a time....before you take the plunge of moving in/feeling stuck for 5 years.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do most women love dating guys with lots of flaws, so they can fix them?
Posted: 11/7/2010 7:32:27 AM
If anyone goes into a relationship specifically to find flaws that need fixing, there is a problem. I would hope no one intentionally goes in planning to change the other person but if they are, there might have been red flags that weren't noticed due to physical chemistry (he's SO cute, she's gorgeous, great body, bedroom eyes, etc.) that is drowning out danger signs/common sense.

Mature people have usually been there/done that and steer away from starting a relationship with someone who has flaws that they know in advance they can't deal with....alcoholism, smoking, drugs, etc. You should only start dating someone with the notion that you have enough in common for there to be some potential for a relationship. So, how long does it take for you to realize your new love isn't perfect? and is the flaw a deal breaker? did they hide some important fact or lie about it? Lots of people jump the gun, think they've found the mate of their dreams, become intimate, move in, etc., and then wonder why they didn't see the flaws.....and now they're in the position of trying to change/fix them.

The big lesson here is to take your time gettting to know someone!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Am so confused
Posted: 11/5/2010 6:45:19 PM
sparticis~you and plenty of other fish are lost @ sea...online dating is risky business. i usually write back and forth thru POF until i get to know them a little better....POF makes it so easy and the IM feature is nice to. if someone is too lazy to get a few messages thru POF and insists on giving you their personal email, yahoo messenger, etc., just say you'd prefer to correspond thru POF for a bit.

as far as human nature~~who knows? i've had men put me on their favorites but won't write, or won't answer if i write. i don't usually make the first move but if i do, it's always with an "out"....ie "if you're not interested, it's cool"......very seldom to i get an response, let alone a "thanks, but no thanks". ...people think that since they will never see the person face to face then they don't have to show common manners.

i also agree w/Msg 8 comments~some people think they want to meet someone but then if it gets to that, they will stop writing/answering email, back out at the last minute, or not show up.....happened to me several times. live and learn..... good luck!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
when you think someone is an imposter...
Posted: 11/3/2010 5:38:17 PM
[I voted today. I hate the socialism in your country. ]

I have a friend who is married to a man from Europe and he's been a US citizen for over 10 years but still says things like this ....perhaps a devotion to their country of birth.

That being said....I think he is bogus. In a perfect world it would be wonderful to find the man of your dreams and not worry about how far away from each other you are. In the REAL world, men will prey on women who are far away....for an ego booster, a game or a potential scam. You really need to look for someone close to you so that you can meet and get to know everything about them. You can convince yourself you are in love thru emails and phone calls....then one of you moves and most likely will discover tons of things you didn't know! Sweetie, you CAN NOT trust photos of people....even legit people will fudge a little....just because the photo is good looking doesn't mean he's a nice person and it very well may not even be him!!


You are looking for the signs and they are there....always go with your gut feeling!!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Are there any particular sports you hate that your man loves?
Posted: 11/2/2010 9:52:10 AM
I have listed in my profile that I don't like sports but I wouldn't keep a friend from being involved if he wanted to and visa-versa with my interests. However, I did get ticked off when (for my birthday dinner) a guy I was dating thought it was cool to bring over a frozen pizza and watch a college game on my tv since he didn't get that cable channel.....yeah, we aren't dating anymore.

My exhusband and I had a compromise. If he wanted me to "enjoy" tv sports with him I would curl up beside him with a good book and try to be interested when something exciting happened. I would also go shopping or to a movie on Super Bowl Sunday and leave him with people who shared his joy. We should respect each other's likes and dislikes....that's part of a relationship.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Need opinions, I think something maybe lacking to seal a deal.
Posted: 11/2/2010 6:38:35 AM
What's up with Brazil?? It's in your title name, and your interests but you don't say why. Have you been there? You don't mention travel as an interest and you live in Texas. Perhaps if you explain your affection for Brazil it would be a topic a woman might be attracted to.

Your headline is not horrible but it, and the TMI about music in the text, leads me to believe that is your main goal in life. There's nothing wrong with being passionate about something but branch out with other interests....and ditch the "resume" style and the titles for each section. I felt like I was reading a book report.

You mentioned you like to cook for your parents.....I enterpret this to mean you live at home~~a red flag for many women when a guy your age still lives with his parents.

Get better photos....close up with a nice smile is the most important photo of all.

Hey we all go thru phases where we tweak our profile and change things. I've come to realize that you can't please everyone and it seems like you're trying TOO hard. Just write what you feel and NOT what you think women want to hear....be yourself.
You seem like a nice guy and I wish you the best!!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I think my dad has a girlfriend!
Posted: 11/1/2010 11:19:24 AM
I said I agreed with previous poster comments but Msg. 6 got in there before I finished writing mine. I do NOT agree with her.....you don't seem to me to have a "negative opinion" and I think it IS your business to some degree....you obviously care about your father and are not doing anything wrong to be concerned about his well being.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I think my dad has a girlfriend!
Posted: 11/1/2010 11:12:16 AM
I agree with the previous posters comments. I'm thinking that your dad might be a little embarrassed that he has found a new friend and talking about it to his family or any display of happiness this is bringing to him might be enterpreted as being disrespectful to the memory of your mother. He also might see that you shared more intimate things with your mother and he may still be getting use to the idea of being your friend, as well as your father.

I'd open the door, just a crack at first, to let him know you are receptive to the idea of him dating and finding someone to bring him joy....and that if he ever does, you will be happy for him. Some adult children don't want their widowed parent to date and "replace" the one that died for many reasons. You are very mature to see the situation in a good light and be understanding of his feelings. Best Wishes!!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Please rate me
Posted: 10/31/2010 11:55:55 AM
I think you have a nice profile altho it could be a little longer...maybe include the type of girl you're attracted to.....someone who shares your faith, appreciates family values, likes to dance, etc. You have good photos.....ladies always like to see a nice smile. I agree with Peach that you should explain what you're studying in school and maybe talk about your job as a youth counselor....is it religious/YMCA or something like that? I don't see you as a player because you are young and want to have fun but you might reword "having a blast" to something like how you like to enjoy your interests/activites with fun loving friends.

From my own experience as a smoker, alot of people are turned off by people who smoke, even occassionally. Are you willing to quit for the right lady? It's up to you if you want to mention that you are/are not willing.

Good Luck!
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Orange Beach, Al ~ Date Night ~ 10/30/10
Posted: 10/29/2010 7:19:58 PM
Classie~
You did a great job organizing the event on the 23rd .... don't be disheartened....it's impossible to please everyone. The bulk of people did arrive around same time and it was a little crazy. It would have been difficult to try "get acquainted" activities once the place was full, although it would have been a good way to "push" people to meet others. Perhaps the venue was a little crowded for the numbers that showed up but you never know....people sign up then don't remove their name or don't come, OR they all come and bring friends! Those requesting other venues should know that The Landing does not charge to have an event there, whereas many places have a huge fee or contract.

I kinda held back but I still met several nice folks. My only suggestion would be to turn down the music and/or not have so much karaoke. I met a nice man but we could barely hear each other because the music was so loud, however I'm sure there are those who will disagree.

I've only been to one other Meet & Greet in another state. It was in a large venue to accomodate the 100+ that signed up for $30 a piece, only to have about 30 show up . It was quiet and we could talk and play a few games but it wasn't much fun. Just to prove....you never know how things will unfold....some things are just out of your control. Hang in there!! Remember:
YOU CAN LEAD FISH TO THE BAIT BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM BITE.
 SusanZB
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Need third party advice please
Posted: 10/23/2010 11:30:24 AM
Do you REALLY need other people to tell you that this is a disfuctional relationship on sooooooo many levels? Sweetie, read back over all the negative things you wrote and think about it. She may be gorgeous but remember the expression "beauty is skin deep" ....money issues, clothes, house, bike, she doesn't like this and that, etc.....this woman is playing you. Hell, she even TELLS you she is a hustler!! Wake up and RUN!

Imagine the woman of your dreams with all the qualities that you want and deserve....this is NOT her. Good Luck!!
 
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