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 Author Thread: Always room for improvement
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Always room for improvement
Posted: 2/20/2009 5:56:28 AM
Okay, after a bit of time my profile is getting less response than it used to. I do think it's better but I have 3 theories:

1- I should just take out the note at the bottom about my schedule and explain it via email and in the early stages of dating.
2-The profile is a little too polished now and looks like I'm some sort of on-line date aficionado instead of just some nice normal guy looking for a relationship.
3-The women in my area that would be interested have already looked and I should just take a break from PoF and come back later in hopes that others that might be interested in me will have joined up then.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Signature Dish
Posted: 2/13/2009 1:29:46 PM
Broiled salmon with a cognac, soy,and honey sauce. I also get a lot of requests for mushroom risotto.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
new to cooking, help anyone?
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:24:53 AM
Get the Joy of Cooking and read it. Once you get the basics down you can make almost anything.

Also, risotto is a great cooking date dish. You don't need anything real fancy to make it gear wise but you do need to practice it a few times before cooking it to impress. Once you get it though, it's gold. There are so many variations you can find something for everyone. Also once you get it going all you have to do is stand there and stir so you can crack a bottle of wine and have a nice chat with your date but still look like your actually just cooking.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Red Pepper Jelly
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:18:07 AM
Thanks you guys! I've been wanting a pepper jelly recipe for some time now and I'm gonna try these out.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Best Wine Shopping?
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:14:18 AM
New York wines are surprisingly good as well. If you on the east coast try a bottle of something from Bully Hill winery. Their wines have odd names but the "Love my goat" is a great table wine that will fit most palettes and any red wine complementary meal. Inexpensive and tasty besides the names on the bottle are sure to get your guests talking.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
soups!
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:45:51 AM
If you like to make up soups as you go along here's sleepwalker68's guide to general souping.

Fat- you gotta have some and you usually start with it in the bottom of your stock pot before you add much else. Melting butter, olive oil or by cooking your meat in the bottom of your pot and leaving the grease. Remember pork fat equals love so bacon is great for this but most of the time I just start with melted butter. Just remember not let anything stick or burn.

Mirepoix-the fancy French way to say a finely diced combination of roughly equal parts onion, celery and carrot. You cook that in your fat until the onions are clear before you add anything else. Not all soups need this but it's hard to go wrong by putting it in.

Base spices- Salt and pepper always. Garlic is also good most of the time. Add these to the mirepoix (One should say this at least once out loud while making the soup. It's makes you sound like you know what your doing and actually have a plan. lol)as it's finishing and let them be for about a minute.

Broth or liquids- Use something appropriate to what your cooking beef broth for beef and mushroom soup, chicken broth for chicken noodle, vegetable for veggie based soup or tomato juice etc. If you want to get real fancy you can reduce some red wine in your pot before adding beef stock for beef soup or white for chicken. If your going to use milk be careful. Heat the milk in your microwave a little first and let your pot cool way down and bring up the temp slowly Stir more often than you think you should. You can add water to most soups but remember you are thinning your flavors so don't over do. However like a lot of the soups above the ingredients "cook away" and will turn your water into a broth as they go so some experimenting may be in order.

Then add your bits. Be creative use any combo you think might be good. Just remember to keep things bite sized or smaller and give some though to how long they might need to cook or if they are delicate how long they can tolerate being simmered before breaking up.

Taste as you go and add more spices as needed.

If you scorch your soup a little sugar may save it. If you add to much salt throw in a peeled raw potato or two to soak it up then remove them.

Have fun. Soup is good food.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
soups!
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:12:00 AM
I'm with you OP soups are fun to make.



Aren't soups something you can just throw together too? I remember a few years ago throwing together some veggie broth, potatoes and leeks and coming out with some yummy potato-leek soup.

Indeed you can here's a rough guide for one that is in that vain.

Potato and Leek Stew

You can do this one vegetarian or with bacon and chicken. It's great both ways! You just start them a bit differently.

For the Bacon and chicken variety:

Cut 4 strips of pepper bacon into small strips
Place that in the bottom of you stock pot on medium high heat
Let the bacon get crispy
Throw in 6 to 8 chicken tenders cut in to bite size bits
Let the chicken cook in the bacon grease
When chicken is mostly cooked add 3 medium sized chopped leaks (they will cook down)
Be sure to soak you leeks first! They have grit that can be unpleasant. I usually soak them while I'm prepping the first bits here and that seems long enough.
Add salt and pepper and a teaspoon of minced garlic.
Let that cook until to a good sweat and the leeks become soft. You may need to add some olive oil if you don't have enough meat grease to keep the leeks from sticking.
Add vegetable stock. enough to cover your leeks and but still leave room to a your potatoes. Say 64 to 76 oz.
Bring that to a boil for ten minutes.
Reduce your heat to medium.
Add 6 to 8 small washed unpeeled golden potatoes cut into smaller than bite size pieces.
Let that go on medium until the potatoes are good and soft.
Taste your broth when you check the potatoes and add more pepper until it's to your liking.
This recipe will tolerate lots and lots of black pepper and most folks seem to prefer it that way so don't freak out if it seems like you put in a ton.

The vegetarian variety follows the same way expect you start by sweating your soaked leeks with just olive oil and leave out the bacon and chicken.

I call this a stew because it's hearty and even hard core carnivores seem to like the vegetarian variety.

I hope you enjoy this one.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:04:27 AM
I thought that maybe the paradigm of men doing most of the asking was in play here as well as in person but I'm thinking not so much now.

Just to clarify, I did not ask why some one would have a profile here but not want to meet anyone. That was me teasing Cheeeeky77.

Ah, I see about the stat. Thanks, Cowboy.

Clasact, I like the way you think. Living large and emailing the folks you like here is the point at least for me.

Rollofdice, I have to laugh at the thought of someone thinking I was too good for them to email but hey stranger things have happened.

Trust me, I understand SOME women here will make first contact. I even have some first hand experience with that one, believe it or not

I appreciate the input,well wishes, reminders not to take it to seriously or get discouraged and hope all the best for you all guys as well but I would also encourage some of you to read the thread more carefully before just jumping in with your 2 cents. A lot of what was posted down this thread has already been said. That's not to say I don't appreciate your input. It is to say I'd like for you to expand on the topic and share more insight than what has been previously given.

So far what I've gotten is that it is very likely that contacting someone in your viewed me that did not contact you first is probably not going to get a response but then again it might. I'm kinda back to square one on this one. Go figure.

I haven't been deleting my emails though. I guess I should. Didn't really think it was a big deal but apparently folks don't like it when you just leave them there. I had no clue. Thanks for the tip, Forumstorm08.

I may also go into "super ninja stealth mode", too. Though, I don't really have a big problem with women emailing me just because I viewed them. However, I could see it being to my disadvantage. Like if I viewed a profile a few times because I forgot about them or they changed a pic or something and then someone misconstruing that as some kind of fixation or cyberstalking. I certainly don't want to be creepy.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Always room for improvement
Posted: 2/8/2009 3:54:31 AM
Thanks, that did help and I acted on your suggestion along with the others from the first reply and I do think my profile has improved. I don't think it's perfect but it's certainly better.

Let's see how many fish this bait catches.
Just kidding, I'm only looking for one "keeper" and I don't really like having to throwing the small ones back.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 3:37:36 AM
I definitely agree the internet, especially forums, can provide hours of entertainment and sometimes downright perplexion.

I don't take this site to seriously or anything. It's really not so bad. I remember when you had no choice but to walk up to a strange woman you were attracted to in person (gasp!) and what it was like to have to walk away after she made it clear she wasn't interested and everyone in the bar knew it. Internet dating is a breeze compared to that. It's nerfed rejection to a mere click and on to the next one. I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 3:22:16 AM
So why stay at all?
Regardless, I was just teasting you. I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, sorry.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 3:07:22 AM
Well that's good to know I suppose.

I also agree about generalizing. There's no accounting for what people may do or why they do it.
(You know like creating a profile on a dating site and then saying they are not looking for anyone and do not contact them.) ;)
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:45:40 AM
Fair enough.

I was just wondering if this was mostly the case or not.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:35:37 AM
I didn't really consider it could just be a glich. I assumed that PoF would track that down and fix something like that just over the volume of complaints about it but I guess it could be. Wow, I guess I might seem a bit weird saying "Hi, I saw your profile in my viewed me and you caught me eye too." if it was just a glich. So if I see someone 'good' in there should I just contact them and not mention the viewed me part?

Also, I don't take it personal or anything but sometimes some really interesting people show up there and I have to wonder what gives.

Blueskies123, I thought that viewed me's were folks that at least clicked on your profile. I know that doesn't mean they read it or liked what they saw if they did. I'm a wrong about that?
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
contacting those that already viewed you first
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:14:02 AM
It seems like if a lady has viewed your profile, did not chose to contact you then, and you notice her in your viewed me list and contact her you almost never get a response. I always like it when I see new people in my "viewed me" but now I'm thinking that it might not be as cool as I once thought.

I know sometimes I click on a profile and think nope that one's not for me. Sometimes though I check out a profile and I think I'm going to remember that one for later when I'm less busy or not already chatting with a few people and seeing how those work out.

The stats (according to some blurb I saw here on PoF for whatever that's worth) only 26% of women will make first contact online so it would seem like a good thing if they viewed you first but that hasn't been my experience.

So is it a waste of time to contact someone who's already viewed you and didn't send you a message? Have they've already considered you, weren't interested and moved on to the next profile in most cases?
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
3 rd shifters and other non 9 to E's
Posted: 2/7/2009 8:19:23 AM
I don't know I think that a forum group for people that are experiencing something different than what most people live might help create understanding and common bonds. Sometimes certain minorities and special interest groups warrant that kind of attention. Just my opinion but I do agree it would get cumbersome to have thousands forums for each little variable in life so maybe it would be best not to even start.

Really I guess what I'd like to see is a way that third shifters (and other folks that have "odd" schedules) that live in the same area can be made aware of each other and the fact that they share an unusual schedule.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 7:58:57 AM
Okay, so it's not my shift that's the problem. It's my geography. I need to move where you guys are.

Actually, between the responses here and a few I got in my inbox I'm feeling quite bit more positive about my work situation with regards to dating. That may mean the women I have been dating have been using it as an easy excuse to call it quits but someone once told me 95% of all romantic relationships end so as long as I keep going out my odds keep getting better. I can deal with that.

Again, thanks to all of you.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 7:33:53 AM
Truth is I hate third shift, myself. I understand lots of folks really take to it. I'm not one of them. I do it because that's what has to be done for now. I really don't feel to comfortable giving up a good opportunity in these uncertain times just because it isn't exactly what I want. I know I can look for another job and all that but without going into all the details (that no one but me cares about) I feel that staying put is the best option for me at the moment.

I guess my question to you would be where would you meet another third shifter except at work or maybe PoF? I'm not really keen on dating co-workers. I could break that rule for someone I felt strongly about but we haven't hired her yet. I haven't seen that many night shift folks on PoF in my area or maybe they just aren't mentioning it in their profiles. I wish they would add a matching criteria to the PoF algorithm that compared people's schedules.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 7:00:20 AM
Thanks, I really am feeling better about this whole having a dating life and having to work third shift thing. Trust me,you are a genius!
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 6:31:03 AM
I think that's a very good idea and I do date within my age group for the most part. (Girls aren't as fun as women. Thank God, I learned that one and didn't become that creepy middle age guy looking for college age ladies with a daddy complex but that's a whole different issue and someone else's thing to deal with.)
Thanks, you've been a great help.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Always room for improvement
Posted: 2/7/2009 6:20:20 AM
Thanks for the ideas!





I am also working third shift at the moment so that may have something to do with it.

I presume you are going to change this weekly - surely you can't be on 3rd shift all the time.

Sadly, yes I am. I keep a normal schedule on weekends though. (Hey, maybe I should say that too.)

I'll change my pics and see if I can't get some more that fit you suggestions.

Deleting negativity and the obvious is probably a good idea too.

Maybe instead of all those random interests ( I was trying to show some personality there but I think you're right.) I'll just chose a few and actually write some of that into my profile.

All those are good ideas and I'll act on them after a few more critiques and some breakfast , thanks again.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Always room for improvement
Posted: 2/7/2009 5:38:32 AM
I'd be thankful for any honest critique of my profile and suggestions on how to improve it. It kind of a been a work in progress over time and I'm afraid I've lost the perspective to see like a potential date might. Thanks.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 4:24:31 AM
It seem like to a lot women I've met third shift is like another planet or something. So I don't think your that far off at least in representing those that close the door to dating someone on a different schedule.

We all can have some pretty deeply ingrained ideals about relationships and nobody should have to justify their wants for the perfect one.

I appreciate you input also, though.

Maybe a better (more practical) question would be how do I present this challenge in it's best light for my dating success?

 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 3:31:16 AM
Just to clarify, I have weekends off so I can see someone a few times a week at least. Lazy weekends are totally in and I try to sleep nights then. Also don't forget evenings before I work and after someone on a 9 to 5 would get home or mornings before they leave. I think it would be nice to come home to dinner and get up to breakfast assuming I got to that point with someone.

Yeah, the not getting to spend nights together would suck but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Besides, I'm a pro blanket hog and some of you ladies snore like chainsaws. lol

Life happens 24/7 not just 9 to 5. The big difference is I sleep while they are at work and vice versa. It's not like you actually miss that much time you can really spend together. I'm just having a bit of trouble getting someone to buy into that. They just decide it won't work and that's that. It seems.

Trust me, I also get that the real reason some people call it quits often has nothing to do with the reason they give. Maybe my schedule just an easy mark and some think it's polite to use that excuse rather than saying "close but no cigar, good luck". Anyway, I'm not focusing on that part. I'm just curious how many of you would consider it?

Also if I wanted a pen pal I'd go sign up here:
http://www.interpals.net/
Seriously, I am talking about trying to find someone to date not type at.

Jewlsey and cfb62, you’re enlightened geniuses! I would also think that some time to oneself might be a good thing. Could you tell me a bit more about why you might think dating a third shifter could work? Thanks.
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is third shift really that much of deal breaker?
Posted: 2/7/2009 2:11:51 AM
How many of you (ladies only, please) would consider having a relationship with someone who wasn't on your schedule?


(I think I have average success with meeting people online. I seem to have trouble finding someone that will continue to date someone who works third shift. I am up front about it and don't try to hide that fact. I also tell the people I meet that it isn't forever and someday I will go back to something more traditional when the opportunity arises. I would think that being able to date on weekends and meeting for lunches would be great when a relationship is first starting but it seems like lot of people I've met just won't even try it or focus on the complications it may have at some point in the future when we've only had a few dates. ...Maybe it's a dating again at middle age thing, I don't know but I guy's gotta work, right?)
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Night Shift....
Posted: 2/7/2009 1:19:29 AM
I'm getting that most folks’ experiences with night shift and dating is that it's very hard to near impossible. I really hope that I have better luck but I have to admit so far it's been tough. I posted a thread in the PoF suggestion forums asking them to consider adding a matching factor for a non-traditional work schedule.

If you guys think that's a good idea show your interest and post up here:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11763691.aspx

Thanks good luck to all you other day sleeping fishies!
 sleepwalker68
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
3rd shifters and other non 9 to 5'ers
Posted: 2/7/2009 12:42:38 AM
I don't know that it would gain enough interest or would even matter to anyone but me but I'd like to request a forum for folks that have alternative schedules.
EVEN BETTER would be an addition to the matching algorithm that considers people that have to work "non traditional" times. (just a suggestion, I hope PoF will consider it)

I know there are lots of healthcare, production workers and others that work nights or other odd hours. It doesn't mean we're bad people it just means that sometimes there's a job to do 24/7 and we are the ones that do it when most of you are sleeping.

It's tough enough to have a life when you schedule is all backwards and I think most folks would agree dating isn't exactly the easiest thing you'll ever do. If you add those two together it's a huge double whammy.

I'm not crying (or at least I hope it doesn't sound like it). I'm blessed to have a job (that's better than a lot of folks these days) and I feel like I have about average luck with online dating. I am just asking for a little help.

Anybody else having an issue with third shift and dating or think that adding an additional matching factor for it is a good idea?
 
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