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 Author Thread: He can only see me during his company hours..?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 30 (view)
 
He can only see me during his company hours..?
Posted: 6/4/2017 7:20:11 PM
UPDATE

My intuition was right..He confessed today that he still lives with his baby mama but they are not really together .According to him they have grew apart and now are trying to find ways to split without having full impact on their kids.They are not married but are common law.OMG wtf!!!


That is a whole complications and baggage I don't want to go near.
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
He can only see me during his company hours..?
Posted: 6/2/2017 10:12:04 AM
I have been seeing a guy and We constantly text even when is at home and on weekends but it seems like can only make time for me during his company hours on weekdays and during the day. Sometimes I have to drive to his work so I can see him during his break time. Last weekend I was off so I asked him if we can spend time together but he said he couldn't because he has to take his 2 kids to a kids party but when we spoke that weekend he told me he was doing something entirely different .I want more time with him...Should I walk away?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does he have an interest?
Posted: 4/6/2017 10:18:01 AM
^^^^
I guess you are right. Came to think of it, I don't either.
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Does he have an interest?
Posted: 4/5/2017 7:04:16 PM
UPDATE

So today I saw him again while I was leaving the restroom going in the staff room for my break. He was leaving ..we made eye contact and he says have good night and enjoy the rest of your shift. Then after few minutes, he came in in the staff room and we chat for a while. Then I told him that I have to go back to work since my break was done. Then he hands me a pre written number on piece of paper and tells me to text him if I want.I like him so I was flattered

Does he have romantic interest ?or is just wanting to be friends?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does he have an interest?
Posted: 4/3/2017 1:25:14 PM
So this guy who works in different departments at my new job always make eye contact and we say hi to each other in the passing.Last time he came in on my floor I was working on ,in the kitchen looking for cup,we exchanged pleasantries then I went to clear my tables. While I was doing that he came back around again and he made a comment on how it would be nice if I were to receive a tip for my service. I laughed it off and we chat up.Then he was like I will talk to you later.After about 10 minutes he came back again for no reason and we were just talking about general stuff about how long he has working for the company etc.He even followed me in the kitchen and didn't have a reason to be in other than just wanting to talk to me. Then when he was leaving he asked me for my name and said he wanted to look on my name tag but didn't want to be a weird guy staring at my boob.Then he was like I will see you around.Does he have interest ?I don't want to read too much into this but the only time I care enough to want to know a guy's name is when I have interest

I'm not planning to pursue anything more since we work together..I'm just curious
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How can you tell a catfish?
Posted: 2/9/2017 11:22:16 AM
As for me I didn't bother uploading my pictures because I use this site solely for the community/forums.There is indeed a lot of fake profiles here. A week ago I was bored so I started randomly reverse search on images of the profiles that looked too good to be true- and I was able to spot 5 fake profiles in 30 minutes

Many reasons why some people create false accounts
1 - some are gay and are not ready to come out so they create profiles of the opposite sex to be able to flirt with people of their gender without having to come out

2 - some are insecure and feel that people won't like them for their looks so they create fake profiles of good looking people
3 - some are cruel and just get off playing with other people's emotions
4 - some are bored and married or in a relationship and think this is safer than physically cheating on their partner
5 - some are stalkerish exes who use fake profiles as a way of keeping tabs on their ex


The bottom line is ,If they want to have endless messages without meeting up they are either not interested or not real. So in that case I would move on
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 2/7/2017 6:28:22 PM
I know I Omitted this but I have been at my other part time side job(not this current one) for 5 years and I have had few guys expressed intrest in me.One tried asking for my number and I said "NO"he didn't get the hint and kept asking until I flat out told him that I wasn't interested. I never felt awkward and still talked to him as I normally would. There's not tension on both ends .With the other ones,I just told them I was already seeing someone and again ,I never felt weird or started acting differently. I guess people react differently to different things .And No, he didn't have to lie to me, he could have simply not texted but I do understand, I put him an awakrd position and he did what he felt was the best to handle the situation but lying was unnecessary.I instantly knew that he was lying and he must have sensed that because I didn't say anything back to him out of embarrassment. I pretty much processed it instantly .Then he asked me a question that was work related but already knew the answer to...I guess he was trying to ease the awkward silence. I didn't answer him because I was loss for words then he immediately left the area I was in when he was not suppose to. And when I handed him my number I just said "text me sometime" and left it that

However,when I saw him next time which was 2 weeks later since I only come in casually I didn't care anymore and have already accepted the rejection.I tried to talk to him as I normally would but I could sense his discomfort as he was avoiding eye contact
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 2/7/2017 4:46:06 PM
I didn't ask why he rejected me.I already said that it was not big deal to me when he didn't call/text in my OP.Furthermore,I was just interested in hearing other people insights from guys point of view for conversational purposes.Just because I posted here doesn't mean I'm still pining for him or haven't moved on.I've already accepted that he isn't interested but I still like him as person/co worker..there's no hard feelings .I just don't him to feel weird about it but I realized what's done is done.Perharps he feels his unacceptance of my invite wounded me or caused me to resent him. Or he feels weird about making up an excuse to brush me off.

Having said that, I normally don't attempt to make romantic-connections at work (this was my first time doing this in a work place) but in this case it was because I wasn't planning to stay with this company long term( this had nothing to do with him) so I thought to myself why not go for it...I had nothing to lose. I honestly didn't think giving him my number was a big deal at time. I didn't put him on the spot and ask for his number then started sending him unwanted texts .I didn't profess my attraction/interest then asked him if he feels the same...putting on the spot nor did I corner him and ask why he didn't text/call.Like I said, I left it up to him if he wanted to text or not. If he wasn't interested he could have simply not texted me...just wanted to gauge his interest..It is because he felt compelled to lie to me about losing his phone/my number which followed by him altering his behaviour around me by being very standoffish, avoiding eye contact, walking past me purposely avoiding looking at me ,looking on the ground when I pass him ,which makes me think that it was big deal to him.Perhaps he feels the friendliness he shows to me will be misinterpreted, so he is choosing to keep his distance.I don't know.And No,I don't believe I'm projecting.He clearly feels/acts awakward himself so therefor I pick it up and start feeling akward in return.

As matter of fact,I have been on the other side of the fence when I guy who used to live in my apartment handed me his number and said to text him sometime if I want to go out of drink.I wasn't interested so I never texted and forget about.I would still run into him sometimes and would talk to him as I normally would .Neither of us brought it up nor there was any awkwardness /tension .I just never thought handing out your number as a big deal prior to this ..which is why I wanted to hear from guys point of view if it would be a big deal to them if a girl hands her number out unsolicited because how this guy responded.Anyways,I'm leaving this company in few months once I pass my probation period at my new job/career that I went to school for...where I'm going to work long term.I certantly learned from this , "never mix business with pleasure"I"ll keep that in mind in the future".
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 2/6/2017 5:04:06 PM
PennyAnte..You're talking as if I'm still chasing him or something .I clearly stated in my OP that I already got the 'hint' months ago when he lied about losing his phone/number and not asking me to write it down for him again. I never press the issue or said anything else to him about it and wouldn't. I even wanted to apologize to him but I decided against it as it would just lead to more unnecessary awkward interactions. I felt bad for putting him in that position but he doesn't have to feel uncomfortable around me or avoid him because I showed interest. It's all good

Besides, by me giving him my number and leaving it at that ,gave him the option if he wants to call/text or not. It's not like I was demanding he goes on date with me
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/6/2017 4:19:21 PM
So are you saying things would have worked out if we were local in my situation? And we would likely be still together if it wasn't for the LDR ?I highly doubt it. Remember I told him that I was willing to move closer and close the distance once I find I job in his city and he didn't respond to that and bailed on our plans to meet.He's been loud on clear in regards of his feelings which why I thought LDR or not, it wouldn't have worked out in my situation since every relationship is different..and not just the general concept of LDR's.We obviously want different things and have different levels of commitment
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/6/2017 9:40:01 AM
Yes that was my point . He's just not that into me.And I didn't keep chasing him. He's the one who would always come back stating he misses me and wants to be with me and I would believe him. The fact of the matter is, when we first met he told me that he sees a future with and he even discussed getting an apartment for us to move in together in the near future .That's why I've always responded positively whenever he came back in my life thinking the distance was our only obstacle and we were destined to be together...But his actions later proved otherwise. He would blow hot and cold depending on the way the wind is going and presumably if he has any other options.When something else comes along he tosses me aside and repeats the cycle over and over again. .It seems like the distance doesn't matter to him if he has no other options.I'm his plan B. I realized that it is because I kept letting him back in and I should take responsibility for my part .Now I'm ready to close that door firmly and not let him waste anymore of my time. I just wished if I would have realized this sooner
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/5/2017 9:44:35 PM
"I disagree. I could meet a wonderful gal who I'd really like to seriously date -- but living 4 hours away, sorry, fvck that. And I'm sure she'd be thinking the same thing too, as she should."

This all subjective as it depends with people involved .Yes it works and it doesn't .. It depends upon the partners involved. I don't believe this is YEs and NO matter. Some don't want to do LDRs some DO..

The bottom line is,I was willing to make it work but I was only 1 part of the equation.  I can give 100%, but I'm still just half of the relationship.  It requires his effort also.He clearly didn't see a future with me ..as he actions clearly shown. Distance or not.The distance doesn't have to be permanent .Like I said,I was willing to relocate but he's clearly not interested .

The bottom line is people who can’t do the distance either break up, or move closer.
This guy has done neither.Which, means to me that he is not looking for a relationship (long or short distance), but for a “safe-rebound. I strongly believe that in my case things would be the same even if we were local.He even admitted himself that all his local relationship were on and off.Even his previous gf who he was with for a year,they were on and of the entire time...his high school sweet heart was on and off for 4 years. Running hot and cold is his pattern.This is clearly a character trait not the distance in my case.Like I said,we can agree to disagree





 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/5/2017 8:09:21 PM
I mean we can agree to disagree but I believe Long distance relationship CAN work if both people invloved are willing to make commitment and sacrifices. It depends with people involved ..definately not with this guy.Is it hard?YES. Does the other person get to decide that they don't to be in a relationship with someone for whatever reason they deems worthy? YES ..but I believe that when people break up because of the distance it is because one or both people don't think is other is worth the effort or sacrifice and would rather find someone closer.

I know a lady who met her husband by chance at Starbucks when he was in our city to visit his family after having moved five hours away two years prior.They hit it off. He became her long distance boyfriend. He worked long hours at his job but he went to great measures to come and visit her on all his days off, driving five hours one way. The drive was closer to 10 hours when there was snow. And that's the way their relationship went until we both moved to be together. He made all those crazy trips and made a lot of sacrifices because he wanted a future with her.

Also my Aunt lived in 2 different countries for 3 years with her husband before they got engaged. They made sure to save up money for plane tickets and their vacation time they can see each other about every 3 months. . Now, they live together. “if there’s a will, there’s a way.

In my case,he just wasn't committed ,he doesn't want to be committed nor does he care to make it work. He's just using me when he's bored or unable to find someone closer...once he meets someone else, he cuts me off. It took me a while for this to register in my head.I wanted things to be what they were when we first met. I couldn't see how he was treating me because my head was stuck in our past.Now 'm getting a clearer and clearer picture for what is happening, which is I'm just a place for him to sleep when things don't work out with the girls he is more interested in and any contact with him will only bring hurt and disappointment.

With that being said,I feel like 4 hours isn't that much of a distance if he truly wanted to be with me. It's not like you were on separate continents.With that distance you can see each other on weekends if you wanted to. If he wanted to make it work, he would have. The last time we reconnected he told me that he is planning to move an hour away from his home town and move in with friends. Why can't he just move down here instead if he really wanted to be with me? Not to mention we were supposed to meet up in a week then he decided to pull out and bailed on our plans then he gave me the "maybe in future bs. I even made it clear that I see that I see a future with him and would be willing to move in the near future if he was committed and serious but he responded by not straight up bolting and cutting off all contact. My attempt to contact him were ignored after that. Yep,that's mark of man who truly wants to be with me

This guy has shown me more than once that he has no problem blowing me off and losing contact with me.If he truly valued me, he would prioritized me and not risk losing me by letting me go.
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/5/2017 12:45:55 PM
Thanks for sharing your experience and your advice jlynn ..As for now I have new number and deactivated my face book since he always makes new one or use one of his friends to contact me since he deleted his own face book account years ago. So I can't block him. I will however reactivate my face book after few years or so, hopefully by then he will stop trying to use me as back up. I talk to my friends and family on the phone, skype and WhatsApp so Face book is not necessary .

It is like giving up smoking. You know that cigarettes are bad for you but still enjoy them.We can care for someone and NOT want to be around them because of how they behave. You're right ,accepting contact from him again will be a waste of my time.It is a lost cause

 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 2/2/2017 8:45:04 AM
"What I don't understand is why he felt compelled to lie to you and tell you he lost your number and broke his phone, when he could have simply not texted you if he wasn't interested. He sounds strange and socially inept, to me.

If I were in your position, I'd just forget about wanting things to get back to normal, and instead, forget you ever met him in the first place"

Exactly, I feel like this is why it's now awkward because of how he handled it.I have been on the other side of the table and I simply didn't call/texted them when I wasn't interested
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 2/1/2017 3:14:05 AM
@Mz Informed,didn't you read my OP ? I clearly stated in my OP that changed my number and cut off all contact and I'm moving on.Maybe you should try to learn reading comprehension ?And yes,I kept letting back in the past hoping he'll change but now I realized that it's futile.I'm human ..I ain't perfect like you.I'm sure there are people who had been in my shoes and just wanted to reach to someone who can relate.I suggest you stay aware in broken hearts forum if you're just going to kick someone who is down .Why are you all hot and bothered about it?You sound angry....as if this effects you personally--.maybe you find others helpful ways to cope with your personal issues or problems without projecting on others on a dating website
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 1/31/2017 6:17:15 PM
@MZ Informed.. Geeze relax! I would have moved on long ago if he would have stayed gone but he keeps coming back messing with my head .I know this happens because I ultimately trust him and gave it another chance only to be burned again,Just trying to recover from the hurt that I'm responsible for and I've learned my lesson. I'm still hurt over it because I'm a human .ok? You don't have to be an @ss about it.,I'm already feeling down and I don't need to be yelled at. I just needed to vent, I don't need you lashing out at me.Thank you very much
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 1/31/2017 2:06:08 PM
I understand that LDR is hard.At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, meaning that not everybody is cut out for LDRs, they want to have one but then in practice they cannot handle it but over time it became obvious that the distance isn't the source of our problems. There is day and night difference on how he treated me when we first met compared to now.Now he runs hot and cold. Blows me of etc..I believe he would be like that if he lived next door to me.  It isn't the distance.He's no longer interested and is only coming back to me when he's bored or has dry spell

Having said that,we haven't seen each in person for 3 years now because the plans kept falling through.Things "fall through" because he chose to do something else, be with someone else, close to where he lives.IF he truly cared he would have seen me in 3 years..really we're only 4 hours away.The Four hour distance will not deter him if he truly sees a future with me
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How can i stop beating myself to be fooled by an ex again?
Posted: 1/30/2017 12:35:27 PM
We were together on and off for few years and we live 4 hours apart.We had a strong connection but the distance eventually took its toll and he broke it.After time apart we will reconnect and hangout again.This went on and off for few years until he met someone closer.Prior to that he started not treating me with the same level of commitment and enthusiasm that I was extending to him.He would run hot and cold.So when it became apparent that he had new interest closer I told him it's best we go separate ways as it was painful for me to watch him date someone else.He agreed and we cease contact ,expecting not to hear from him again.

I went on with my life until this past year I noticed that he sent me a message back in May 2015 through someone's else account since he deleted his own Facebook. He left his number to text him and says he missed me like crazy.




I didn't see these messages at that time since I didn't check my message request. Then a month later,he creates a new Facebook. I noticed this because he appeared on people you may know list..The profile had only one pic and 2 friends from his town ... we had no mutual friends. Then the profile disappeared a month later.At this point I was still unaware of the messages he had sent a month ealier.I went on with my life.




Then he sent several messages using one of his friends Facebook account this year in 2016 again,saying he misses me and left his number again to text him.For some reason these messages didn't show up at that time.Then a month later he creates another Facebook again .He messaged me saying he misses me.




I finally open the messages request that's when I saw all those messages he sent. I thought he genuinely wanted me back based on his level if effort so I texted him back.He was happy to hear from me and said he misses me.We caught up with our lives and exchanged recent pics.


It wasn't long before he turned cold again. He started treating me like an afterthought ,not keeping Skype dates,then started acting more flaky by not texting when he said he would etc.He was supposed to come visit me but didn't follow through with it.He gave some bs excuse as to why he can't do this and maybe we might be together in the future.He went dark again and ignored further contact from me.I think there's someone else in the picture


I came to a realization that I can't be mad at him anymore at this point.He keeps hurting me because I ultimately run back to him expecting different results.It's been 4 months since and I changed my number after a month of him ditching me again, then deactivated my face book so he can't reach me if he wanted to.I'm so hurt and it this time with greater strength . I can't stop beating myself for running back to him after what he put me through. Why? Why did I think it was a good idea to have contact with him again? That things will be different ?That he will start putting more effort into me and make me a priority? That it will work out again?I feel so stupid and responsible for my own heartbreak.

Has anyone been through the same ?How did you recover being hurt over and over by the same person?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does giving a guy/ man your number without him asking for it = interested?
Posted: 1/22/2017 6:03:14 PM
Months ago I gave this block a pre-written number on piece of paper and told him to text me sometime because i wanted to get to know him better as person even if nothing romantic comes out of it..He seemed like a cool person and interesting.The next day he tells me that he lost it and broke his phone but didn’t ask for it again.This was clearly a polite brush off so i didn’t press the issue nor did i bring it up again.I was dissapointed but I didn’t see  it as a big deal to me However,even after all this time,he acts awkward with me and avoids eye contact.We work for the same company but different departments .We have no work related interactions.I mean it’s not a big deal to me and would like things to get back to normal.why does it have to be awkward ?Does giving a guy your number without him asking for it translates “I’m in love with you,lets get married”?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Is it normal to feel extreme hate towards your ex?
Posted: 10/28/2016 5:02:18 PM
I didn't realize how old this thread is
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 19 (view)
 
You are nothing to him
Posted: 10/28/2016 12:30:59 PM
^^^^
Not sure if you thoroughly read my OP but he has asked me to leave him alone at some point and I have ,but he is the one who reaches out after months of NC saying he misses me etc only to pull away again and repeat the cycle.We have been back and fourth for 6 years now.He's is the one who breaks it off and eventually reach out only to leave again. This time he even went back on Face book and created an account for the sole purpose of getting a hold of me since I had changed my number the last time we went NC.If he doesn't want me,I can deal with that. I'd prefer if he stays gone so I can move on, rather than keep coming back only to mess with my head again
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 16 (view)
 
You are nothing to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 9:46:34 PM
Thank you :)You're right..It just hurts that he dropped me like sack of hot potatoes again. This has made me realize never to contact him back again if by small chance he reaches out. I don't want to be in this position again. Time heals
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 14 (view)
 
You are nothing to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 9:03:17 PM
I have no choice but to move on.I just can't do this back and fourth thing anymore. It has taken an emotional toll on me.I just wish if I could waken up and smell the coffee ealier,I wouldn't have wasted so much time on him.I guess I was denial ,thinking we will end up together
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
You are nothing to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 8:50:47 PM
Yes I kept answering him because I thought he was truly interested in me and not just using me for attention. I couldn't move closer at that time because I was in school..so I couldn't pack up and move especially since we never had a stable long distance relationship. I mean ,we haven't seen each other in person for 2 years now. The plans kept falling through and he hasn't made any effort to see me and he is only 4 hours away. I even offered to drive to his town but he said he prefers coming to me since he lives with roommates then ceased contact before the day we're supposed to meet .I even made it clear to him that I see a future with him and I would move closer ..he didn't respond.That tells me with 100% certainty he is not interested in the future.
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 10 (view)
 
You are nothing to him
Posted: 10/27/2016 7:54:08 PM
Just to clarify we did meet in person several times.We would take turns to visit one another until he broke it off because of the distance. He said the distance was too much for him and neither of us was in the position to move.As I stated in my OP,he wouldn't stay gone,he would always come back to my life after months of NC only to repeat the cycle again

I was willing to move if he was serious and committed but he keeps jerking me around
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Am I just his fall back girl?
Posted: 10/27/2016 11:49:17 AM
The guy I see myself marrying and having his children keeps coming in and out of my life.We have been living 4 hours apart for the last 6 years .He openly admitted he sees a future with me but we're not in position to move closer to one another at the moment.We would take turns to visit one another .

Additionally,last time we were supposed to meet up but the plans kept falling through due to schedule confliction. Then finally we set a date to meet on a long weekend..He had Monday to Friday job at that time so he was only available on weekends .I work every second weekend.I was suppose to work that weekend he wanted to come so I had to get someone else at work to switch shifts with. The lady who agreed to work for me only had overnight shifts available.. I couldn't find anyone else so I just accepted her overnights shifts even though I hate working nights.However, 2 days before he was suppose to visit me he texted me and told me that he is not coming anymore because he just had a big fight with his mom ,he is really mad so he is not in the mood anymore. He says sorry ,I hope you understand.

You'd think having a fight with his mom he'd WANT to get out of the house even more to come see me from the stress he apparently just went through... not stay in to just be mad and upset. I was mad especially since I had to make sacrifices to see him. I tried convincing him to come to no avail.Add on the fact that he didn't seem to give a crap about the inconvenience it caused me. I told him that we should go separate ways out of anger then he nonchalantly say "farewell".I started texting him after few days since I felt I overreacted but he wasn't receptive. He finally warmed up and we made plans to meet again.Then he lost his job and started being distance again. He couldn't afford to come see me so I told him that I can send him money through Western Union for his ticket but he didn't respond to that then he stopped responding to my texts.


I started getting worried so I kept sending him numerous texts messages asking how he is and if he is okay to no avail.I then started calling him and he didn't answer.When I get no response from someone I care about I freak out so called him 11 times in row until the phone started ringing once and going to voice mail which means he was pressing the reject button.


To my surprise, he sent me a text message that read ``Please don't contact me anymore``Please I need space``I then apologized for bothering him and told him that I just wanted to see how he is.He didn't respond after that .



We didn't talk for 2 months until I reached out again. He didn't seem receptive and I knew something was off .. I asked him if he met someone else.He said yes..I was devastated. I expressed my desire to see him but he said,we might see each other one day because I just started seeing this new girl.I asked if he likes her and he said "I like her allot to be honest".I told him goodbye and it's best go separate ways because it was painful to think of him being with someone else but I understand he needs someone closer to him,who can be there for him .He agreed and he said "we will always have something special".Then we ceased contact.

He subsequently reached out 6 months later through Facebook, stating he misses me like crazy and to please get back to him.He sent pics of us a month later,and said "you remember this?I miss you"I hope you get back to me".I didn't open my message request so I didn't see these messages at that time until a year later when he sent additional messages again,telling me how much he misses me and to text him again

I thought he genuinely wanted me back based on his level of effort so I caved in and texted him.He was happy to hear from me and said he had always thought about me.He suggested we skype sometime.I finally I told him that I could stay up late one night since I was off the following day. He said 'sure sounds good, looking forward to talk to you' ' I stayed up the whole night for him. I even texted asking what time he's getting off work but he never responded. I stayed up until 12:30 am until I got too tired and went to bed.Then he texted me the next day in the evening and said sorry ,I got caught up with work we can skype toninght.I was pissed about how he didn't take 2 seconds to let me know he wasn't going to skype.This lead into an argument which ended with him telling me not to talk to him no more.

We didn't talk for month .I concluded that it was for the best we go separate ways for good so I send him a text telling him good bye,things will never work between us.He responded and said'hey,i miss you"I still want to work things out.I agreed that I might have overreacted. We set a date for him to come visit me and he said he will book days off work so we can spend time together

It wasn't long before he started withdrawing again.This time around it was worse..he started treating me like an afterthought, making comttiments he wouldn't keep,not making effort to Skype or contacting me...not following through with our plans to see each other in person .Then he just stopped initiating contact.I was about to ask him what's up but he beat me to the punch and said he is not sure if he can do this ,he is sorry.If we didn't live too far apart,it wouldn't be a problem.. he has a lot going on in his life.Maybe we might have something in the future.

Then ignored further messages from me.This has been a cycle since we met.He leaves because of the distance, it's too hard for him.Then around 6 month mark he comes back in my life saying he misses me.Once I reciprocate he goes cold again and repeated the cycle..not responding to texts,withdrawing then complains about the distance. Am I just his fall back girl that he runs to when he doesn't have anyone in his life? I'm beginning to think so...I kept taking him back because I thought we will eventually have a future
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/20/2016 8:06:02 PM
@Maleman99. I thought perhaps his writing is poor but speaks well enough in person which is the reason I suggested we talk on the phone so I can see how well we communicate before meeting up
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/20/2016 12:37:45 PM
Thank you guys for your response...and for those who asked for an update,no I decided not to follow through with it.It doesn't seem like there is a WHOLE lot of things we have in common, least of all... the language. I just figured out he wasn't serious or he would have talked to me on the phone when I suggested it.Not to mention he was not willing to meet me in the middle, expecting me to drive all the way to his city...I know 30 minutes might not seem a big deal but the way I look at it is, I like the other person to also put effort ,so that way I will feel like he is truly interested. I'm not saying a that either party should put in the effort. I'm saying that both should put in enough effort that the other person clearly feels that they're worth effort. Adding the language barrier, it didn't look too promising. I was already having hard time understanding some of his texts and if we couldn't communicate effectively, then there was no the point. It seemed like a waste of time.


Having said that,He started texting me the following day asking why I was not replying to him .I told him that I didn't think it was going to work out. He asked me if it was because he didn't call...but I ignored further messages from him. It ultimately came down to him not willing to skype or talk on the phone before meeting up and I was already having doubts ... that didn't help his case at all .So I concluded it was best to write him off
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/13/2016 10:12:24 AM
just to clarify ,I texted him when it was almost 7 pm and said "Can I call you now"? I didn't call him,i just waited for his confirmation but He didn't answer the text until this morning and says sorry he missed our call time

You are guys are right,I think I better off skip this one
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/13/2016 9:50:41 AM
He texted this morning and says he missed my call time and he is sorry.The thing is we were texting right when it was almost 7 pm, and when I texted to call him at he agreed time,he didn't answer until this morning. Would you think it was an honest mistake?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/13/2016 9:25:03 AM
I met a man on Facebook and we're meeting up this week.The problem is French and lives in Quebec and I live in Ottawa. He speaks broken English from what I've gathered through text messages. I'm not Canadian so English and French isn't my first launguage either .I speak enough English to communicate effectively with others but I don't understand a word of French, which is why I feel like we are going to have a language barrier .I'm already having hard time understanding some of his texts and often have to guess what he is trying to say.

I asked him if he has skype to video chat,so that way I know he is saying who he is.He says,his internet contact is expensive and that he prefers eyes to eyes contact. Then I suggested we talk on the phone so I can get idea how the conversation will flow in person ... he said sure.We set to talk at 7pm last night but when I texted him to ask If he is ready to talk,he never responded. He just texted me this morning and said "I am real sorry.I miss your call time,I feel cheap" Are u mad?

And he wants me to drive to his city ,in Quebec instead of him coming down here or meet half way..he says he is not familiar with Ottawa It's a 30 minute drive . We're meeting up for a coffee tomorrow but i'm just not sure if I should bother.I'm just not feeling it but I wanted to give it chance and meet him in person but now I have doubts
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why do guys that flaked on me try to come in my life..?
Posted: 9/28/2016 6:48:39 AM
I never let these flakes back in my life after we part ways.I was just wondering why they would attempt to come back for another round after showing me disintrest.
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do guys that flaked on me try to come in my life..?
Posted: 9/21/2016 7:41:42 AM
5 years ago,I dated this guy who was a chronic flake.Sometimes we would make plans to meet up and he would completely flake on me.. When I attempt to call him,he wouldn't pick up his phone. There were times when he would follow through with plans but sometimes he would just flake out and ignore further inquries. When I would see him at work the following day( we worked together)he would talk to me like nothing happen

There were times when I would confront him and he would apologize then flake again. The irony is,he would make an effort to call me everyday, telling how much he likes me...but had hard time keeping dates

I finally got tired of his flakiness and told him that it wasn't working out. Then I subsequently left the job for other reason and we lost contact.However,I ran into him few times recently and he always ask for my number again and says he had been trying to get hold of me..I just have no interest in reconnect with him so I told him no thanks.

Additionally, I also encountered another guy who flaked in similar fashion.I met this guy in person as well.That being said ,the first time he was supposed to call me after he gets off work at 3pm to finalize our plans but I didn't hear from him until 10:00pm, something had came up on his end.

He apologize profusely and asked how he can make it up to me.

Then he suggested we meet again but he conveniently stopped responding to my text before the plans could be set in stone.
And when I texted him to confirm our plans he never responded.

Then he texted me few days later like nothing had happened. I was fed up with his flakey behavior so I called him out.He didn't respond..we stopped talking and I deleted his number.

Now fast forward few months he sents me a face book message and left his number to text him. I didn't respond. I just don't understand why they would want to get back in my life when they were obviously not that interested? Has anyone encountered the same thing?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Is he intrested..?
Posted: 8/21/2016 3:28:54 PM
Well,I wasn't sure if he's interested so I just wanted to hear other people's insights on how to proceed given that we work together... I don't want to make things awkward between us. @VikingHoosier,No we haven't had an interaction outside work and I'm not aware of marital status


Having said that,I think he's cool and friendly but I'm not interested in anything more.I agreed to meet him the first time because it was strictly business. ..at least that's what I thought.Moreover,I agreed to meet him the second time in the heat of the moment but when the day came,I just couldn't be bothered...I just don't like him like that. I thought about coming up with an excuse as to why we couldn’t meet but I wanted to deter him from asking to see me again..I just thought not texting him would send a clear message even though I felt bad.I have no idea how I got myself in this position in the first place.I feel so bad
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is he intrested..?
Posted: 8/19/2016 6:37:45 PM
As I stated in my OP,I'm not interested in anything more than a professional relationship
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is he intrested..?
Posted: 8/19/2016 3:53:53 PM
2 weeks ago, I was telling 2 of my collegues that I have to go for my road test soon but I haven’t mastered parallel parking

One of the guys offered to teach me a very easy way to do it.. him and I joke around a lot. He seems like a nice guy so i said sure , we set the date and he gave me his number to text him

We met on the day and we practiced for 15 minutes but it was during rush hour.. so we decided to set it for another day

Then 2 days later i took the intitiative to solve my own problem by learning a much easier way to Parallel fron yutube. I even nailed it when I went to practice on my own

I texted him and inform him that we don’t have to meet up for practice anymore because I took care of my problem.

He said , cool.. now everytime i see him at work he always ask how my practice is going and mentioned few times that he wants to see me in action but i just brushed it off

Then he messaged me few days later and ask me how my practice is going.. i said good and we texted discussing parallel parking and his experiance on his road test etc.. I asked if he did well on parallel parking on his road test and he says …i want to see you do it. He even offered to drop by since he wasn’t too far from the area, according to him.

I told him i was busy but I’ll see the next day after work and i will text him to see if he’s available. Well I wasn’t really up to it when the day came and I didn’t want to put effort following through so he can see me parallel park…i never texted him

The next time i ran into him at work, I didn’t bring it up and neither did he. He asked me if i passed my road test to which I replied yes …we excanged pleasantries then went on about our business. I kind of feel bad for blowing him off but I’m not intrested in anything more than professional relationship

Was it rude to not contact him when I said I would?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do some exes reach out after some time has passed only to go cold again?
Posted: 8/6/2016 2:11:19 PM
I was with my ex on and off for few years and we live 4 hours apart.We finally broke it off for good when he met someone else closer.However, he started to reach out to more than year later.He left several messages on fb , telling me that he misses me and has been thinking about me...he wants to know how I'm doing.I responded back to him when I received the messages a month later.We caught up on our lives, exchanged recent pics.He offered to skype with me but flaked constantly with excuses.Then when we had solid plans to Skype, he didn't come online and didn't return my texts that night.

He texted me the next day and said sorry for getting back at me late,he got caught up with work then offered to Skype for that night .I told him that I was busy that night then explained how flaky he's been.He never responded to my texts and haven't heard from him since.I'm hurt with this and I don't why he bothered to reach out only to hurt me.Was he just lonely?He told me that he's sinlge
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 6/2/2016 9:31:23 AM
Thank you guys for your replies .Yesterday, I ran into him in the stairway on my way back to my floor after my lunch.I said hey and asked him if he's on his lunch to which he replied yes.Then proceeded to tell me that he is going to grab a sandwhich at the food court across the street.I then said "enjoy"Then he asked me if I'm taking my lunch as well and I said 'unfortunately I just finished and I have to go back on my floor...I was already running late.He looked disappointed and said "OH NO! i think he wanted to ask me to go with him.


The thing is, it is rather difficult to talk to him given we work different departments. Whenever I do run into it's either I'm in hurry to go back on my floor or he's busy with a client. Somedays I don't see him at all.He also takes his lunch time different from mine. I'm unable to take my lunch at the same as his since we work in completely different departments.So I'm going to give him my number tomorrow if I do see him.If I don't see him during work hours ,would that be okay if I wait for him when he fishes work?.I finish an hour before him...so if I wait for him after my shift and wait outside our building to give him my number? I don't want to make him uncomfortable ?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 37 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 5/11/2016 8:05:32 PM
UPDATE

So I finally saw him today after 28 days off from work due of an unexpected injury .
'
The first thing he said was "hey where have you been?"its nice to see you".Then I proceeded to explain to him the reasons why I was absent. Then he said again that" It is good to see me back".We chatted briefly and I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said he hasn't been in 2 months because of other obligations,then I told him that he still looks great so no worried ...he didn't get to answer my compliment because other co workers showed to ask me about work related issues.At that point he had to go back to his department.


I was just wondering because some of my co workers were indifferent about absence ..they didn't really question me about it.He even said"you haven't been around for almost a month now huh?Not to mention that we work in different departments and we run into each other few times a week.We work in a big building.The fact that he noticed my absence raised my suspicion

Opinions?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 32 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/26/2016 10:17:25 AM
@Butterchickenchuck,thanks that's good idea...I'll use that opportunity next time.I can't directly quote you for some reason
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 28 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/26/2016 9:03:40 AM
Maybe I should have omitted the fact that we work for the same company?So that way people would actually answer my question on how to pursue it other than giving me lectures on why I shouldn't date a co-worker.-Its getting redundant at this point.

That said,I've had 4 co workers ask me out within the last few years I've been working for this company.I wasn't intrested in any of them so I politely turned them down.We're still cordial towards one another--no awkwardness or tension.


MY sister is married to her co worker and they have 2 children.I also know people that are married or in a relationship with someone they had worked with..I don't think I should miss out a chance just because we work together.My interest in him eclipses the risk .Even if he turns me down,I'll know where I stand,I'll get over it.

On the other hand,I dated a co worker few years ago at different company.The relationship didn't work .We stayed friendly towards one another--no problems.Things are not always black and white
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/24/2016 9:00:33 AM
^^^^
Exactly, I would rather know than keep wondering what if. Besides,I know a married couple where a women made the first move
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/23/2016 6:31:42 PM
Thank you Lily Dreams,I agree with you,I would rather know where I stand than stay in limbo...wondering what if
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/23/2016 5:36:35 PM
I would like to make a move but I was just the under impression that the vast majority of the guys would approach a women if they’re interested but just need a little assistance by sending them the "signal" to approach (a look, smiling, being solo to be more approachable, etc). They're even guys who admitted on online that they prefer the initiative to be left for them. On the contrary I know there is exception to this. I'd rather know where I stand than sitting agonizing hoping he'd make a move
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/23/2016 4:56:09 PM
Yes I 'm already aware of that dating co workers can get messy so please don't just come and tell me that,it's not what I'm asking.Besides I've already established that we don't directly work together and I won't be with the company long-term
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How can i ask my co worker out?
Posted: 4/23/2016 10:51:09 AM
There's this guy at my work who just got hired 5 months ago. Initially, We hardly talked to one another and I was indifferent towards him. This all changed few weeks later when I ran into him in stairway-the first thing he asked was if I go to the gym, to which I replied yes and asked him why he was asking. He proceeded to tell that he saw me the previous day at the gym while he was on treadmill and I was on different machine -but wasn't sure if it was me and that I looked very familiar . I confirmed that he was indeed right. The funny thing is ,I didn't even notice him at the gym that day. After chatting briefly ,I came to conclusion that he variably visits that gym as me -He visits other locations .So it was mere coincidence that we ended up at the same gym that day. Similarly, I also use various locations .I've gone back to the same location few times but my gym schedules haven't coincident with his.

In addition,We work in completely unrelated departments.(we have very minimal work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a point to smile ,ask how I'm doing .I see him see him around 1-3 times a week if I'm lucky.




There's no indication that he is anything towards me other than just-being a -pleasant friendly professional capacity but I'm curious about him, and therefore want to talk to him more, spend some time with him. For the past week, I've been trying to get his attention by talking to him more but I haven't been getting back any signs that he's romantically interested in me . I've tried to be around him more often. I ask him questions to prolong what he's talking about.He hasn't asked any personal questions about myself nor has he asked for my number. I try and look my prettiest for him (shiny hair, natural makeup, fitted clothes)... and no dice.Few days ago, he saw me eating a hamburger on my lunch break. Then when he ran into me upstairs , he said "hi' again and he brought up how I was eating a hamburger and how he wanted to grab it from me. Then today, when he saw me he was like" I made myself some hamburger yesterday when I got home because of you,LOL.I just can't tell if he only likes me as friend or romantically.


So is there any chance he might be interested in me? He said he is over 30 and he appears to be in his mid 30's.I want to find ways to ask him for a coffee happy hour .I know dating co workers is a bad idea but we don't directly work together and I will be leaving the company in a year to pursue another career when I finish College.Any advice?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 1 (view)
 
A guy who bailed on our plans twice in row is now contacting me again???
Posted: 4/1/2016 7:03:22 AM
I recently had a guy who flaked on me when we made plans to hang out. We made plans to meet up when he gets off work at 3pm but I didn't hear from him until 9pm -he just said sorry something came up.Then he texted me 2days later again apologizing and asking how he can make it up to me. I decided to let it slide then he suggested plans to get together again but No time/location had been set, then incidentally stopped responding to me before the date was set in stone.I called him asking for confirmation but he never responded , so I shoot him a text asking we're still on,he responded few hours later and just said "lol"

I just took it as lack of interest on his part so I deleted his number . To my surprise, he just texted me 4 days later and said "hey",like nothing happened. I didn't respond but I'm perplexed why he keeps coming back after blowing off. Any thoughts?
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What should i do about this persistant guy...?
Posted: 9/2/2015 8:13:28 PM
Thank you gtomstang and bamagrl68 for your thoughtful responses

Peas : I dont see what your point is. If you don't have anything constructive to contribute to the thread, please don't bother commenting
 Telly986
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is he interested?
Posted: 9/2/2015 7:45:00 PM
If he's interested,he will ask you out.How do you feel about him?Do you like him?
 
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