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 Author Thread: What stops a man from cheating?
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 248 (view)
 
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 1/29/2013 5:18:04 PM
Great post, freshstartbraveheart. For me, I care enough about my wife that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Morals aren't enough - everyone has moments of weakness, and morals are theoretical. Witness all the so-called moral majority-type preachers who can't keep it in their pants. Causing pain is actual. I think that almost anyone can cheat if the circumstances are "right" - especially if things aren't great in the relationship at the time. Keeping in mind the hurt you can cause (or would experience if done to you, if you have so little empathy for others), may do the trick.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Guys, what do you say when your not interested after meeting?
Posted: 1/27/2013 6:27:32 AM
If I want another date, I'll ask within a day or so about setting one up - or may do so by the end of the first date. If I do not, within a day or so I'll tell her that I don't feel any chemistry. Of course, sometimes it's obvious to us both that there won't be another date.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Just flat said
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:59:08 AM
I have to agree with pirateheaven and outmind on page 1. Even though they've misrepresented themselves, they are still people and still may be interesting even though you have no chemistry or ongoing interest in them. I'd be polite, but that first meeting would be the last. At most, I'd say that I had difficulty recognizing them in person versus their photos or profile information, and suggest they update that.

Sometimes even 10 pounds greatly affects how a person looks - it does on me, so I wouldn't be happy if someone misrepresented themselves with older photos. I can certainly allow for some differences, but the differences shouldn't be so great as to cause a negative impression versus how they originally presented themselves.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:49:17 AM
I don't chase. If she shows interest in me (e.g., an initial contact), and I'm interested in her, then we can mutually develop a relationship. If she wants to back off and play games, she'll be playing alone. I just want some balance in the effort, and will happily give such a woman my full attention.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
orgasm count, is he lying??
Posted: 4/23/2009 4:24:59 AM
It's certainly possible, but isn't likely to happen all the time or every time. Actually, 21 is a conservative number for a truly multiorgasmic woman.

In our experience, once she's had her first, more come very easily afterwords, sometimes taking less than a minute for each subsequent. We've lost count around 40, and that was in a little less than an hour. (She lost count much earlier than I did, for obvious reasons.)
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 1120 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:05:59 PM
If their native language is clearly supposed to be English, then I'd probably not reply - or reply with a polite "No thanks". If English is a second language for them, then I would probably respond - what I say would depend on how interested I am in them.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
starting a new relationship
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:56:22 PM
80 to 90% of first dates or meets never lead to another, in my experience. If a guy is focused on sex on the first date, he's probably not going to be back whether he gets it or not, I think - and I'm a guy saying this. I much prefer to take it a step at a time, but my focus has always been longer term so I see no need to rush - and no need to keep seeing someone who really doesn't fit my criteria.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 41 (view)
 
threesomes
Posted: 4/18/2009 11:08:23 AM
Well, if everyone knows that it's impossible for a man to please a woman, then why not NOT please two at once? It's more efficient, and may give some other poor guy a break!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 165 (view)
 
Threesomes...why the bias?
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:46:09 AM
I suppose it's possible to fool yourself, but it's also possible to be fully aware and have really good communication with your partner. If the fear of a problem prevents you from living, then that's not much of a life, IMO. If you have a solid relationship and good communication, and have discussed the potential problems in advance, then problems tend not to arise, or become manageable if they do. Introspection, self-knowledge, and good communication can prevent and overcome virtually any issue, and can even improve a relationship when you work through issues together.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/7/2009 7:20:32 AM
If I go to a party, can I only spend the evening with the first person I meet? Even if I'm not sure they're all that interesting, I have to spend hours with them until I'm certain they bore me to death? Or, if I go to a speed-dating event, I have to leave after talking to the first person in the rotation? Yep, can't talk to or meet anyone else until they've decided about me.

You do it your way, I'll do it my way. I have too much respect for myself to restrict my possibilities too early in the process. It's dating - for the purpose of finding out if we connect and have things in common. If we do, then we can become exclusive and not meet or see anyone else. It would be a red flag for me if someone I hadn't even met wanted me to stop talking to others and stop planning to meet anyone else. It would seem desperate and manipulative at worst, and insecure at best. That's just my perspective on it, of course.

Perhaps if you agree to sleep with me on the first date, I'd agree to be exclusive long enough to find out if we actually have something more in common - but I'd rather not sleep with you until I know we do have real potential!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 31 (view)
 
I know I'm crazy.. 2000 miles away
Posted: 4/7/2009 7:05:26 AM
I'd say go for it, give it a chance. You apparently have little that prevents you from following through if you decide you want to.

I dated a woman 8000 miles away. We emailed, IMed, and phoned for 6 months before meeting. Dates lasted several weeks each. It came very close to working out, and we both had far more obstacles to overcome than you face. If you are right for each other, you'll find a way to make it happen - and if not, it will be good to know and let it go.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 162 (view)
 
Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is seperated
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:17:56 PM
Mostly it's the women who say they won't date separated men. I wonder why it seems that men are usually less picky about this? On the other hand, I guess there are some men who won't date women who have children living at home. My goodness, don't you think you should finish up the old business and be free of those prior commitments before dating again?

I would - and have - dated separated women and separated/divorced women with children. I guess I'm just a huge risk-taker!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:05:56 PM
I can only have one friend at a time.
I can only pursue one hobby at a time.
I could never work two jobs, and in fact, can only apply for one at a time and must wait until I get it or am rejected before applying elsewhere.
I'd never be able to have ice cream one night and chocolate cake the next.
I could only have one child, but would then have to get rid of my spouse.
I'll only ever invest in one stock at a time, and never look at others until I sell.
Oh dear, which should I euthanize? My dog, or my cat?

Yes, it makes sense to me!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Would you date a [b]women[/b] if [b]she[/b] was unemployed and living with [b]her[/b] parents?
Posted: 4/4/2009 9:13:47 AM
Ah, you mean a woman in circumstances that were fairly typical 60 or so years ago? My, how times have changed!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Requesting for DNA testing of child! Prudent or Offensive? Grounds for Divorce?
Posted: 4/1/2009 9:20:18 AM

How about even though it wasn't available when you had your kids, if they're older, you don't ask for it now? What is the reason stopping you?


Well, simply because it would be a waste of money. Better not to know now that it's too late to do anything useful about it! You can't get out of paying support unless the test and contention come early enough, but you could end up estranging yourself from children you loved. (A man can still choose to be a father, even if he wasn't the sperm donor.) You could divorce a formerly cheating wife, perhaps, but you'd still have all the expenses and problems that creates. So if it's too late to do anything constructive, it may be better not to know in case it's bad news.

I don't think it's necessary to check paternity unless you have some reason to suspect it, but I also think it's a good idea to check ALL newborns, and include genetic testing for various diseases and conditions. (Perhaps the latter is not so useful in a county like the USA where you can be denied insurance if you have a potential illness - but smart in most advanced countries where health care is available to everyone.)
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 132 (view)
 
Requesting for DNA testing of child! Prudent or Offensive? Grounds for Divorce?
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:19:06 AM
Tiger, that's one of the clearest and most sensible posts I've seen on here in awhile. Thanks!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dumped after a second date....WTH?
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:52:33 AM
Most likely, he thought you had potential so wanted the second date to find out. Then he decided you weren't what he wanted after all. It happens - what's the big deal?
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 54 (view)
 
How far would you....
Posted: 4/1/2009 6:49:54 AM
About 8000 miles. That was for our second date - she had visited me first while vacationing with friends the northeast USA. Six months later I went to Hong Kong for several weeks to see her. I'd do it again if necessary - that one came close to working out, too. I finally met someone only 100 miles away.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Matchmaking
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:28:16 PM
I wouldn't let anyone else do this for me unless I had a very long string of failures. Since I found several near-ideal matches - and one absolutely ideal match! - on my own using my own methods and without any disasters, I think I'll trust my own choices.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is Lyme disease sexually transmitted?
Posted: 3/6/2009 8:41:33 AM
I've never heard that Lyme can be sexually transmitted. I'd probably have it if that were the case, but I don't.

FYI, only about 40% of those infected by a deer tick bite ever get the rash, according to the public health nurse in Massachusetts. Few ever see or find the tick unless they check very carefully after possible contact - they're about the size of the period on this sentence when not engorged. Dog ticks are huge by comparison.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Are real naked women just bad porn?
Posted: 3/5/2009 7:51:50 AM
I think there is an unwarranted assumption driving this post. That assumption is that most men watch a lot of porn. I doubt the reality of that, unless perhaps they are not in a relationship (not sure that assumption is warranted, either, for most men).

Most men can separate fantasy from reality, and prefer real women. A little porn isn't going to change that for the majority of men, IMO - but it may give an occasional boost to some older guys with declining libidos. Their partners may even benefit from the increased interest! If someone watches a lot of it, then they may develop some unrealistic attitudes, but I don't think that's common, and certainly doesn't seem to be the case for the people I know.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 82 (view)
 
How long should sex last?
Posted: 3/5/2009 6:34:55 AM
Come on, people, think BIG!

IMO, I'd say sex should last a lifetime! Why would I want to stop?
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
how to create sexual tension in coffee date/. movie theatre
Posted: 3/4/2009 7:14:54 AM
Actually, the OP has a very good question! Consider that some people seem to have a natural charisma, and many don't, yet to some extent you can learn to project charisma.

Sincere attention, looking the person in the eyes but not staring, leaning towards them, smiling at them, facing them directly, listening attentively, responding appropriately, nodding in agreement, etc., all show interest that most people will find flattering. If they are at all interested in you, they are going to respond positively. It's not directly about sexual tension, but can lead to it if there is attraction.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Deal Breakers?
Posted: 3/3/2009 11:29:06 AM
Most people have some good qualities, however, it is their faults that determine whether or not I'd pursue a relationship with them. There are acceptable or non-objectionable faults, and then there are the deal breaker faults. I certainly want a number of positive characteristics in a partner, but it won't matter at all how good they are if they have deal breaker faults. (Even if she is a wealthy beautiful nymphomaniac owner of a chain of liquor stores! LOL)
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:57:18 AM
I don't think you should have any expectations that someone will act a certain way in small matters of courtesy, but it is a plus in my mind if they do have good manners.

Even after 8 years together, my S.O. usually thanks me if I take her out to dinner. I frequently thank her when she makes me a lunch, for example. If we're out somewhere, I'll usually open doors for her. I think it's many of these little behaviors that show caring and that you do not take that person for granted. Feeling appreciated is - IMO - an important factor in the success of a relationship.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 181 (view)
 
Scarlet letter to identify an HIV or AIDS carrier?
Posted: 3/3/2009 9:36:48 AM
If someone does not know they are infected, nothing is going to help prevent infecting others unless safe sex is practiced. That's not infallible, either.

If someone is infected, AND is taking the correct drug regimen, the risk of infecting someone else is extremely low, but of course safe sex should still be practiced. I read recently that even safe sex isn't necessary in this case, as there is virtually zero chance of infecting other. So much for the need for a scarlet letter. Bad idea, anyway, IMO.

If everyone was required to be tested, and everyone infected was provided the correct drugs, a study has shown that HIV could probably be eradicated by 2050. Of course, there are ethical issues to consider, and somehow such a program would have to be paid for worldwide. Travelers and immigrants would have to be routinely tested as well unless certified within some time period.

Ref: http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126966.100-are-we-about-to-eliminate-aids.html?full=true


Last year, a group of HIV specialists on the Swiss government's AIDS commission (EKAF) announced that HIV-positive people who met these conditions were "sexually non-infectious". For the first time serodiscordant heterosexual couples got official approval to bin their condoms. Other experts disagree with the Swiss decision
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 570 (view)
 
Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 2/18/2009 7:08:13 AM
If some need isn't being met in the relationship, even people who would normally never think of cheating (and would never deliberately seek to do so) may sometimes suffer a lapse in judgment in a moment of weakness and opportunity.

Emotionally close and appreciative couples experience far less cheating than couples who are distant and don't communicate. This can happen over time when issues aren't dealt with quickly, or people give up because they can't resolve their issues themselves.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is it bad if you don't argue?
Posted: 2/18/2009 7:03:18 AM
If there's nothing to argue about, that's good. If you're avoiding confrontation because of fear of rocking the boat, that's unhealthy. There's also a term for it: distancing.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Is finding the one so hard these days?
Posted: 2/18/2009 7:01:37 AM
I think "the one" is a modern myth. First of all, there are many who can be the one. It's really about compatibility in many areas, if you're patient enough to look for that.

Decades ago, love wasn't very important in relationships. A study done every decade since 1939 showed how relationship priorities and expectations have changed over time. Now, love is at the top of the list, and practical matters have dropped in importance. I'm not sure what to make of that, but since I've found both love and practical considerations all in one person this time around, my expectations may be biased!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 206 (view)
 
Anyone miss sex with their ex?
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:16:34 PM
Yeah, I missed it during most of the time we were married. Now, I don't miss it at all!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Can a Serious Christian Fall in Love with a Serious Atheist?
Posted: 2/16/2009 6:59:53 AM
Can it happen? Of course! Love itself doesn't have boundaries. More likely, though, I think it might be more about mutual lust (not always, of course).

Can it work? Highly unlikely.

If both are serious, I doubt either could truly respect the other's opinion and avoid the topic of religion to the point of avoiding all conflict. There is no room for compromise in either's opinion. Even if both share virtually identical ethics, the basis for those would be very different. This is a fundamental incompatibility that few could - or would want to - overcome.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
she cheated with you, why are you mad she cheated on you
Posted: 2/13/2009 3:22:15 PM
Hmmm. She cheated on her previous boyfriend with this new guy, and now is cheating on the new guy? She's "beating herself up" over this? Perhaps she should be, since she's a serial cheater from the sounds of it. It's not the new bf's fault that she cheated on the prior - it was her decision! Sounds like she likes to fvck with nice guys, though.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
How far away is too far away to have a relationship?
Posted: 2/13/2009 2:14:04 PM
Distance did not matter to me, as long as there was the realistic prospect that one or both of us could relocate at some point if we decided to be together.

My longest distance relationship was about 8000 miles. We obviously didn't see each other often - about twice a year - but those dates lasted 2 or 3 weeks each. It wasn't ideal, but for the right person you deal with such things if you truly believe it can work out. It nearly worked out, too. I have less ability to travel now, so would want to limit any future dating (hopefully there won't be a need!) to just the continental USA and Canada.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Why the Rush to Coupledom?
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:46:43 AM

I had an extremely good idea of what I wanted. So, when I found it, it didn't take me long to realize it.


I guess this is what I don't understand... how can you know a person is what you want if you haven't time to uncover who they are?


If you've talked with a lot of potential candidates, and met many, you develop a keen intuition (well, some people do) about new people you meet. When I say it didn't take long to realize it when someone was a great match, you have to realize that I rarely met anyone before emailing for several weeks and exploring serious topics involving compatibility issues - as well as lighter, fun things, of course.

When I finally did meet someone, I already had an excellent idea of their values, goals, experiences, attitudes, beliefs, and interests. Meeting was mainly about seeing if physical attraction and chemistry existed, plus confirming the impressions gained by email and talking. After a few dates, it was almost always completely clear if the relationship had long-term serious potential - or not. When it's all good, you're both incredibly attuned and "into each other" amazingly quickly, and having done our homework, it's not simply based on lust.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 44 (view)
 
When someone sticks their Tongue in your ear
Posted: 2/13/2009 7:07:36 AM
The really wet ones, NO! Especially not when it seems like they want to suck your brains out they go so deep. Lightly and not so wet - sometimes!

In my experience, for some women it seems that doing so will trigger a second or third orgasm if timed right, and the tickle factor can cause delightful squirming that sometimes triggers another for me! Sometimes nibbling will work too, but not as reliably.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Making a move
Posted: 2/12/2009 2:13:44 PM
I can relate to your question, being sometimes hesitant and shy myself. However, you know she's interested, otherwise she would not be coming over. I suggest you give her a hug and brief kiss when she arrives, throw in a sincere compliment and how happy you are to see her, and go from there. Get her to help a bit in the kitchen - many opportunities there to get close. Good luck.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Why the Rush to Coupledom?
Posted: 2/12/2009 1:28:23 PM
For me, there was no rush, but when you DO find the right one, dithering can lead to losing the opportunity. I literally exchanged emails with close to a thousand women, and screened far more than that. By the time I met a couple of dozen, and had a few short term relationships, I had an extremely good idea of what I wanted. So, when I found it, it didn't take me long to realize it.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Girlfriend has a GUY friend..... what do you think?
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:56:32 AM
Bottom line, if you trust her and she is trustworthy, you have nothing to worry about. Men and women can be just friends, even if one has some sexual attraction to the other - people with integrity do not act on such feelings. If her friend has integrity, he will not act on any feelings he may have. You seem to think otherwise, so perhaps your own integrity needs a tune-up?
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 67 (view)
 
The Religion & Politics Talk - Why Wait?
Posted: 2/7/2009 5:08:11 AM
This is yet another reason why I always want to email or talk awhile before meeting - to explore these kinds of issues and find out if we'd be compatible. Usually, we're not, so time is not wasted meeting such people, or meeting and being attracted only to find out out about such incompatibilities too late to avoid hurt or disappointment.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Too much in common?
Posted: 2/7/2009 4:58:40 AM
I think this is only an issue if you share too many of the same weaknesses and faults, because these may reinforce each other rather than challenge you to improve in those areas.

Aside from that, I really doubt that any two people are so similar that would create a problem. In our case, we are far more similar than most couples, and it has only been an extremely positive influence. Still, we are quite different in certain ways, so there is always something new to explore.

In terms of similarities, we like most of the same books, TV shows, and movies. We have very similar philosophies and values, and even a very similar spiritual perspective, though it's not common in the general population. We both enjoy martial arts, but she is far more into it than me. We're both introverts, but to different degrees, and our personality types are very compatible but slightly different. We share the same attitude towards money, saving, and spending, and have very similar tastes. Neither of us like sports except as participants, not spectators. Most of our outdoor activities and tastes in food are compatible. As for our "indoor" activities ...

Because of the similarities, we enjoy doing almost everything together, while still having outside friends and interests. It's almost always easy to agree on virtually anything, so there's little stress or conflict. We started out with plenty of different interests and experiences, but found that those one of us hadn't tried were usually things we ended up liking greatly. We truly are best friends and lovers.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What is the heart of gold that women refer to?
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:44:32 AM
For some, it's simply a nicer way to say fat wallet. For others, it means a kind, caring, and compassionate person. I usually take it to mean the latter, unless there are other contrary indications.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
What age does it take?
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:04:19 PM
I guess what I'm not getting clearly is, did he feel the feelings you wanted him to feel, and did he act appropriately on those feelings by showing you in deed how he felt? If the answer to those questions is "Yes!", then you dumped him because he couldn't say the words? If the answer is "No", then you were probably right in breaking things off. For some men, saying the words is actually painful and anxiety-producing - an almost impossible task.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you did not find attractive physically?
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:47:00 PM
I think a lot of people have. Such relationships are often called "marriage."
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Over 45 -- putting down the opposite sex
Posted: 2/2/2009 1:30:34 PM
I've had to put down a sick pet, but I've never put down a date! Less tongue-in-cheek, I like the opposite sex (with occasional exceptions), and enjoy their company and perspectives. I am sure I'm not alone in this.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Driving ability exposes behavior?
Posted: 2/2/2009 7:32:52 AM
I think driving behavior is usually a very good indicator of personality. Aggressive, risk-taking, discourteous drivers often exhibit similar behavior at other times, which can include gambling, drug use, risky sex, thrill-seeking, abuse, basic lack of respect for others, or other problems. Some are just very rude, and some may be mild and responsible except when behind the wheel. On the other hand, sometimes timid drivers with a lack of situational awareness may exhibit similar behavior elsewhere. Or perhaps they need new glasses.

I wouldn't immediately judge someone on this basis, unless it were persistent and made me uncomfortable, but I'd watch for other signs such as how they treat service people and possibly pets.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Toilet seats and toothpaste
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:39:07 AM
Right on, Mandrake.

My SO and I discuss this often, as we encounter friends and acquaintances experiencing problems - and the occasional happy couple! To us, it seems the happiest couples truly want their partner to be happy and fulfilled in all areas of their lives. They do little things for each other that increase the potential for well-being, and have an awareness of the things being done for them. Picking on each other about little things is often a sign of deeper problems that haven't been addressed. Happy couples seldom have significant unresolved issues. Often people will do things for their partner what they themselves would like having done for them, but that may be exactly the wrong thing for their partner - be aware of what they want so they feel loved and appreciated. And communicate what you want in a loving way - criticism creates distance, not closeness.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Women Over 40... this is what Andy Rooney says... any comments?
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:21:54 AM
I've always liked that piece supposedly by Andy Rooney (actually by Frank Kaiser). One problem with it though - there are the women that Andy describes, and then there are the other women who are just the opposite (and those who are somewhere in between).
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What should we be looking for?
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:15:46 AM
There are key differences in what I looked for at this stage vs. my younger years. Career prospects and fertility no longer matter! Compatibility, shared interests, companionship, conversation, passionate sex, time together, etc., matter far more.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 489 (view)
 
Starting to get turned off with shaved women
Posted: 1/28/2009 11:55:40 AM
Cleanly shaved or neatly trimmed works for me. I hate "rug burn" from the bristle brush stubble but also dislike the weed-whacker-wilderness look!
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 91 (view)
 
why do people stay on POF after meeting someone?
Posted: 1/27/2009 10:29:51 AM
When I was dating, I'd keep my profile active until I met someone and we agreed to be exclusive - prior to that, we're both free agents, trying to determine if anyone we're seeing has long-term potential worth exploring.

As for looking for friends once in a relationship, I see no problem if that's what it truly is about. Some may be "virtual" friends, but many of those become "real-life" friends eventually - at least that's been my experience. If you're new in an area, for example, you may not have many real-life local friends at first.

Sure, there are people who will cheat or seek someone "better", but if that's their intention they will find a way even if they remove themselves from dating sites. If that's what they want, do you really want them anyway? Profile or no profile, there's no guarantee you'll keep them - there's only your own paranoia and perhaps desperation!
 
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