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 Author Thread: levels of working world
 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
levels of working world
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:08:56 PM
watermelon:


way to cover your normally generalization making butt swift lol


Well, if I don't make my disclaimer every time, I get jumped on...sometimes I forget

... but you have to admit, generally speaking, I'm generally correct in what I say. When speaking to a general audience it's necessary to speak generally.

It would really be difficult, even for me, to speak with every single person about every single thing in every single situation.

I hear ya, though... and I'm gonna take your comment as a simple comment, even a constructive criticism rather than an insult.

Cheers.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
levels of working world
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:28:16 PM
kerry:


I know that I won't get a rich husband...its reality(may be if I lost alot of weight but I still seriously doubt it). That doesn't however mean I want someone to support. I want an equal. In attractiveness, intelligence, and financially. Is that so wrong? I do think it puts less strain on the union.


Your attitude is not wrong, but it is very female.

Like I said before, men, of my generation at least, don't generally care how much money a woman brings to the table. It's a bonus if she can bring something, but it's not a requirement.

With women, GENERALLY SPEAKING, a guy MUST bring money to the table. And, surveys and studies show, that women look for guys who make more than they do no matter how much the woman is bringing in.

Wpg chick's attitude is very much the norm which is why I, for one, appreciate her honesty.

Cheers.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
what about single guys who like single mums?
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:04:27 PM
bby:


Man.. what IS it with painting all single moms with one broad stroke and one color???


Darn, I forgot my disclaimer with that post.

Here it is:

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE SINGLE MOTHER IN THE WORLD LET ALONE THE UNIVERSE. EVERYONE IS AN INDIVIDUAL. MY LAST MESSAGE WAS PHRASED IN GENERAL TERMS, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WHAT I SAID WAS NOT VALID OR TRUE. FOR THE MOST PART AND, GENERALLY, WHAT I SAID IS TRUE.

bby, I WAS NOT TALKING TO YOU SPECIFICALLY, THOUGH BY YOUR REACTION I CLEARLY HIT SOME SENSITIVE BUTTON. EXCELLENT.


Kids come first. Period. Wether you are with the biological parent of your children or not. It's temporary. Get over it.


And this is one of the reasons, GENERALLY SPEAKING, that many men are hesitant to date single mothers.


More money to date a single mom... hmmm.. interesting theory. A man dates ME, not my children... and I don't ask anything of him as far as the kids go. If he chooses to shell out for an outing, great. Just shows he's willing to be involved 100% in OUR lives. I would never, ever, ask it of him tho.


It will always cost more to date a single mother. Guys, GENERALLY SPEAKING, like to be generous when it comes to the woman they are having sex with. Women, GENERALLY SPEAKING, like to have things paid for by the guy they are allowing to have sex with them. When it's a package deal, as ALL women with children are, it will invariably cost a guy more money.

We, as men are, GENERALLY, idiots, when it comes to the woman who allows us access to her vagina, I agree.


Sex with no kids will also only happen on her time as well.


I agree. It's part of the Golden Vagina Syndrome. This is also why I would recommend that men, especially young men, do not have just one woman just as women rarely have just one guy on the sidelines.


Last time I checked, child support was only paid by the biological parents. What do I know tho, I'm just a gold-digging, lazy, single mom who doesn't take any responbilities for anything.


Nope, sorry, wrong. In Canada, if a guy lives with a woman and her kid from a previous marriage for 1 (one) year he can be held "in loco parentis" and therefore have to pay child support for the kid. He isn't even legally common-law with her for 2 years. Double dipping is allowed. If the non-bio guy makes more money the the bio guy, the non-bio guy can be held responsible for paying CS.

I know this because it happened to me.


I try not to think all men are a$$holes because of my past experiences.


Cool....

Cheers.
















 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:36:27 PM
Michaelann:


actually swiftone, a vasectomy is only 99.9% effective, just like tubal ligation. Some
people's immune system, try to heal/re-connect the damaged area.


I'm not a doctor, but my understanding from when I got snipped was that after a year or something, if you do not have swimmers, you never will again unless you try to get the vasectomy reversed. The possibility of a successful reversal also declines with time and it's VERY expensive from what I understand.

I'll look it up and report back to the group...


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:31:09 PM
Smijle:


Courts have ruled that when a woman has taken the semen from a condom a man used for sex with a different woman and has inserted it in herself, the man must still pay child support. Courts have ruled that when a woman has deceived her husband into believing that her baby is his child, he must still pay child support. Few if any men are relieved of child support obligations due to the circumstances of the pregnancy, no matter how bizarre or unjust.


I kinda figured you were a guy who pays attention to this stuff.;...

As a matter of fact there was a court case where a woman was suing a guy for damages because he put Tabasco sauce in the used condom. When the women retrieved it from the trash and tried to inject it, she screamed bloody murder and charged the guy with assault and sued for damages....

... I think it serves her right. She deserved it.

I followed the other case with the woman keeping the ejaculate in her mouth and then inseminating herself as well....

Despicable.....

As I have said here on these fora many times: Paternity fraud is legal. Every spermatozoa is like a little Golden Credit Card.

Along those lines... they did a study in the States about how often the supposed fathers turn out NOT to be the contributor of genetic stuff.... it was something like out of a sample of over 200,000 cases, 30% proved false, in other words, the guy named was not the father. Granted, these were cases where the paternity was doubted and the blood tests were taken at the request of the man or the courts, so it's not necessarily indicative of the population as a whole.....

....; 30%, though, scares the hell out of me....

General population estimates are between 7-20%. Many guys just don't want to know.

Cheers.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
levels of working world
Posted: 11/25/2006 1:16:10 PM
wpg_chick:

I really appreciate your honesty. Most women would just say it doesn't matter to them how much their guy makes as long as they are "In LOOOOOVE".

Your response, I suspect, is pretty much the same for MOST women out there. I've noticed the comments in theses fora as well as talking with females I know THAT WOMEN, IN GENERAL, WILL NOT SUPPORT A GUY.

Guys are completely different in that regard for the most part. We EXPECT that at some time we will have to support a woman and probably children as the sole bread-winners.

I find it interesting about your comments about the percentage split when you are bringing in more. Again, I don't know any man who even thinks about that when they get married or live with someone. Not that it doesn't happen. I think your attitude of control is very typical of most women out there... it's the ol' "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" attitude that MOST women have when marriage, by law or common-law, is involved.

Being a woman who plans on making a lot of money, I imagine that you will insist on a Prenup as well, correct?

Cheers, and again, thanks for the honesty.



 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How men feel about men.... not sexually
Posted: 11/25/2006 12:41:06 PM
insert:


Have you ever had a boyfriend drive out at 1 in the morning to pick up a friend who was in trouble or needed help, and found yourself asking "Why would he leave in the middle of the night to go help tow his car?" or something of that nature?


Nicely put...

A perfect example was when my ex left and I was a hurting puppy.

I had buddies call or show up who I hadn't had much contact with for quite a while. I had one guy come live with me so he could help with the kids, another came and took me out and gave me some great advice because he'd already been through it. A lot of guys just phoned to make sure I was ok and offered help if I needed it despite the fact that they didn't live anywhere close to me.

I hook up with a group of my buds at least once a year and it's friggin' hilarious. We've all known each other since elementary school with one exeception. It's a no-holds-barred blast. We cook and eat great food, drink too much and occasionally get into some other mind-altering substances just for the fun of it.

Hangin' with the boys is a blast.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 11:55:38 AM
fox:


Men slay me


All the whining and complaining about how they get "trapped" into supporting accidental offspring yet they are not willing to take responsibility and do something to prevent them.


You are correct that there are a lot of idiot men out there. I can't believe when I hear guys saying they trust women to be taking the BC and, because they believe her, don't wear condoms and use spermicide.

I'm with you 100%, men should never trust women to be in control of BC.

Cheers.


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 11:52:41 AM
kookies:


^^ with saying this... shouldnt that be a topic before marring each other...dont you agree? i make it clear to the guys who want children ...that i cant bare children..not by choice either. this way.. its a choice made clear as to what they decide what they want for themselves.


It should and probably is a conversation beforehand, but as it stands the woman is still in control of the reproduction in a marriage. If at first she agrees to not have kids and changes her mind and goes "Whoops! Guess I forgot the pill for a couple of days," the guy doesn't have any say.

I just like that male BC will at least give men an opportunity to even the playing field....

Thanks for the reply....

Cheers.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 11:48:41 AM
vixen:


as for the guy getting a vascectomy...its not 100%, just like EVERYTHING else. nothing is for sure, except not having sex.


It is 100% though you do have to be careful for the first couple of months afterwards. Apparently, in some cases the body tries to reconnect the Vas and succeeds sometimes. That's why you have to go back for lab tests after a couple of months....

And, I agree with you. I'd love it if men had a viable option for BC besides abstinance or condoms....

... then we could listen to women ****ing about how men don't want to have kids when women want kids.... I'd love it.


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How men feel about men.... not sexually
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:52:21 AM
Gini:


Is it with friendly competition that men claim all men are dogs, is it a way of not being accountable my making the comment "What did you expect, I'm a guy, we're all dogs?" Or do men really feel that most other men are no account dogs?


I think it's important to keep in mind that when we hear women calling us "dogs" it's because women seem often to see us as "DOGS" and nothing else. It's insulting.

Men joke about each other being 'dogs', but we also know that in most cases, that is only one aspect of who the man is. We are all (well, 99.9% of us) dogs, but we are many things besides that as well......

.... women tend to forget those things, I think, because women find it hard to believe that they don't have a monopoly on emotions or that they believe all the bullshit about women being the only ones who are multi-faceted 'uman beans (as they are called in the US).

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:29:27 AM
kookies:


pill or no pill...wouldnt trust him to taking them...besides they dont stop you from gettin other deseases passed on ...only just prevents pregnancy....so i take precautions in my own hands...least i know i am safe.


Agreed... men are stupid to trust women take the pill or use any sort of BC as well. Any guy who still has swimmers and doesn't use condoms and spermicide is a frigging idiot.

But, if you are married how happy are you going to be if you want kids and your husband refuses? With the male BC, he will have that control.

Just curious to hear a woman's perspective on that scenario.

Cheers.
 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:19:34 AM
twowheels:


The male pill will cause HUGE social changes.

Power of reproduction will turn over to men and I suspect birth rates will plummet.

Women will try to shame men into starting a family with the "grow up and be responsible" argument but most men are now immune to that type of shame.

We really need a male birth control pill and NOW!


You'd better believe it. Women seem to think that men won't take it... well I think they are going to be VERY UNPLEASANTLY surprised.

I have three sons, and you'd better believe that as soon as the male BC pill is available, I'll be counselling if not coercing them to take it and to NEVER give up control of their sperm until it suits them to do so.



 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 10:16:17 AM
Smjle:


Woman #1: “My [husband, boyfriend, significant other] is selfish. He's on the pill and won’t get off. I’ve asked him to stop taking it but he always says he’s not ready. He just won’t grow up. I don’t know what to do.”

Woman #2: “That’s what the pill has given men—a right to be perpetual adolescents. It’s given them veto power over women who want to have children.”

...

The male birth control pill will create great changes, but these changes will not be to women’s liking.


Ohhhhh, yeah... there will be great tearing of hair and gnashing of teeth. I love it.




 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 285 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/25/2006 9:19:53 AM
Driver:


I’m only about half way through with this but I will have to finnish it later. I am not just blowing off steam here so please don’t reply with what you think about her, or me. I would like suggestions or anything positive you want to share but like I said It is only half the story right now . Thanks


Your conversation is somewhat similar to one I had with my ex last February. I started a war because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

My situation is a bit different. I have 2 kids with the ex and one stepson from her previous relationship. I get my kids 50% of the time yet I still pay her $630/month because I make a lot more money.

Well about Christmas time last year she informed me that she was going to quit her part-time jobs and "Take a break and maybe find something new". After a couple of months it was really bugging me that I was paying her this money, she could afford not to work and it would probably end up costing me even more money this year because she wouldn't make as much.

I was a bit pissed off and I told her so. During a rather heated conversation she said, and I quote, " I'm a completely independent woman and I don't need you for ANYTHING".

So, I withheld a half month's CS and put it into a separate account just to see what would happen.....

.... next thing I knew she was threatening court and lawyers etc....

I said to her, " But you told me you are independent and you don't need me for anything. I took that literally." She was really pissed off.....

I did go and see a lawyer and he told me basically that I was a frigging idiot for starting that war and that if it went to court, it's likely that I would be paying WAY more because of a Supreme Court of Canada decision and by the fact that they brought in new CS tables that would require me to start paying about $150 more each month and about 80% of any extra costs.....

I called a truce and so far, that's where it stands.... but I have no doubt that she'll be coming around with her hand out in the future some time....

Good luck, man. I understand exactly your frustration. My consolation is that my boys prefer to live with me and when they are 12-13 they can choose to live here full-time. When they do, depending on how I feel about my ex at that time, I will begin collecting CS from her for as much as I can get.

Cheers.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/25/2006 8:50:18 AM
I was just browsing over at How Stuff Works and they talk about male BC pills and other areas of research.

It's kind of interesting....

Check it out: http://health.howstuffworks.com/male-bc-pill.htm

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
When a woman says that she want's sex to wait till marage what do you think?
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:32:51 PM
tremendous:


And I think it's very sad that so many of you people on these forums have become so jaded that you will actually settle for a man or woman who has no love or respect for you. Man, your lives must have been hard. Sex sure has become cheap.


I'm here for the fora, more than anything, because I've found out just how expensive love and sex are.... make a mistake or a poor choice an you pay for the rest of your life...

... and I respect myself enough to never give it away again.

I really do wish you luck. I honestly and without any Bullshit, hope that you are one of the few who does find love everlasting. You are young enough not to be jaded like some of us old f.u.c.ks. Believe it or not, I can actually remember when I thought like you do, felt much the same as you do and I think that is a very cool place to be.

And, without reservation, I do wish you love and happiness.


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:19:51 PM
freedome:


Pay back's a b$ich!


I play Scrabble and I'm pretty damned sure there is no word in the English language with that combination of letters....

boich, no, uhhh... baich... nope... biich... no way... btich... never heard of it.... hmmmm.... just can't think of any.

Sorry to butt in... not sure who you were talking to anyway...

Cheers.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
I'm considering dating a large woman, how should I let her
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:13:14 PM
sally:


if you l ike skinny women then you shouldn't be on here, becasue us bigger women have more personality then the skinny ho's in the world that is ty sally


I can't believe I'm saying this, nor will many people who've seen me post here, but that's kind of a nasty statement.

I'm gonna stick up for all the skinny women out there and say, for the record, that I've met many thin, shapely women who are not "ho's", never acted like "ho's", and who have one heck of a lot of personality.

Cheers.....

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
levels of working world
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:01:34 PM
canadian:


Would there be any possible chance a women like that would considering having a relationship with a guy who had just an average job, for example working as a waiter or a tow truck driver on a single to double digits an hour.


The only women who will take a guy who makes less are the women who are not physically attractive. Ok, they may not be the ONLY women, but MOST women want a guy who makes more and those who are good-looking and make a decent living won't stick with a guy who makes less. The pool boy may be fun, but she won't marry him.

I'm not just blowing hot air here either.... they actually have done studies and surveys on this sort of thing.

Rule of thumb: Women go for the settle for the richest guy they can attract, men settle for the most attractive woman they can afford.

DISCLAIMER: NO, THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD OR THE UNIVERSE FOR THAT MATTER. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE EXCEPTIONS. OFTEN, EXCEPTIONS PROVE THE RULE. AFTER ALL, HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE A GREAT LOOKING WOMAN DRIVE BY IN AN EXPENSIVE VEHICLE AND THINK "GEE, SHE MUST BE A REALLY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS WOMAN" ??

I know I'm being a d*ck, but it's only the truth. I'm not going to apologize for stating it.

Cheers.


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
I'm considering dating a large woman, how should I let her
Posted: 11/24/2006 9:48:03 PM
Have sex with her in the daytime. Take her out for dinner at a busy place.

Shower, rinse, repeat. Often.

Repeat, often.

Often.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/24/2006 9:35:39 PM
squeak:



Raising a kid is far far more expensive than paying child support. For the non-custodial parent, it is a percent of his/her income...for the custodial parent...it is ALL of their income. Get over the CS thing. Ifn I knew then what I know now, he would have had the kids to raise (if I had thought he was a better parent than I was, that is) - and I would have paid CS and had a life...


Granted, however...

... Currently, there is no way a guy has any control over his sperm unless he uses a condom. That is ONE method of BC and relatively effective if it's combined with a spermicide.

Any guy who is still fertile and is having sex with a woman is a complete and total IDIOT if he doesn't use a condom with spermicide every time.

Women, however, have about a dozen different methods to prevent conception and even after conception have two methods of preventing the birth of a child and one method to avoid responsibility of raising a kid.

Again... Men have ONE method with a booster to prevent conception and have absolutely NO OPTION to abjure? (sorry, it's late, can't think of the proper verb) responsibility once a woman decides she wants to bring a kid into the world.

So, who really is responsible for bringing a new life into the world?

And, as I've pointed out numerous times in these fora, paternity fraud is legal.

So, given that, who really should think a bit ahead and take the extra responsibility, financial or other, if a kid is born?

Cheers.



 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Tax Laws Affecting Families
Posted: 11/24/2006 8:50:03 PM
campgurl:


Here again I would like to make a plug for Rick Mercer to be Prime Minister.


I'd vote for him too. My boys and I were just sitting around howling as he threw himself off a high diving board protecting his "gentlemen" with both hands.....



 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
When a woman says that she want's sex to wait till marage what do you think?
Posted: 11/24/2006 8:45:23 PM
tremendous:


If a person is marrying someone, that is a covenant. A promise. If you are going to make that kind of promise, you should be very, VERY much in love with that person.


Well, sorry to tell ya, but that covenant means diddly in many (most) cases. Depending on where you live the Broken Covenant rate is between 25-50% no matter what the faith of the participants in said Covenant. These stats apply to North America, I believe.


And to be in love with someone so deeply means that you love the PERSON, not what you can get out of them. Real love like that means that you truly desire the best for them. Love like that is a choice that a person makes every single morning.


Actually, marriage used to last a lot longer before LOVE started messing everything up. Marriage starts with love and all too often ends up a frigging hate fest. Marriage used to last longer when it was a political or economic union.


He will love me UNCONDITIONALLY.


Sheesh.. . that's exactly the sort of thing my ex said to me when I expressed my somewhat less than happy feeling about her banging the guy she left me for. Yup, she thought I should be loving her UNCONDITIONALLY... LOVE should transend who your wife is sleeping with...

Would you love him under those conditions?

Unconditional love in a marriage? It just doesn't exist, sorry.

Your souls will be connected??????

Whooops... sorry, you are only 21. (Thought I'd better take a look at your profile)

I take it all back

I do wish you luck. I truly hope that you are the one person whose life does turn out to be the Cinderella story.

I love YOU unconditionally.



 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/24/2006 4:03:46 PM
DancingQueen:


And it's not equal responsibility. I can get pregnant, the guy can't. He can easily walk away from the responsibility of child birth, I can't. It's on me to protect myself even more because the consequences are much greater for me than for him. I get to decide who I sleep with and I get to decide if I want to keep a baby or not, so the greater responsibility for birth control is mine.


You are right, there is no equality. If you choose to bring a kid to term, the guy has absolutely no say. That is NOT equal.

The consequences may be great for you, but HE is the one who will have to pay for YOUR decision.

When it comes to the birth of a child, there is no equality. That's why I really like the idea of men being able to take away a woman's control over the decision to bring a child into the world.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
if a woman say's she does not wear pants and will onlywear skirts is this sexy?
Posted: 11/24/2006 3:58:32 PM
freedom:


if a woman say's she does not wear pants and will onlywear skirts is this sexy?

I just had o ask. I think there should be seperation of the sexes in dress.


It's especially sexy when she goes to the bathroom, comes back and hands me her panties...

... Yippee! Gettin' lucky tonight!!!

But, hey, gotta ask you... you are talking about being sexy for the husband, right? Seems to me you mentioned on another thread that you are holding out till you get married.

Don't go out with a guy on a date, take your panties off and hand them to him if you don't have any intention of taking the rest of your clothes off too....

That would just be too cruel....

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
what about single guys who like single mums?
Posted: 11/24/2006 3:47:46 PM
weeee:


i would like to say that i would love to meet a single mother and be happy together.


There is nothing WRONG with dating a single mom. But you really need to be cautious about it.

The good stuff is as good as with a woman who has no kids, but there is baggage for lack of a better term..

From my experience here are some of the pitfalls:

- kids will be paramount for her. You may be important, but the kid(s) will always come first.
- if she happens to have an "accident" it is more likely she will choose to keep the kid.
- it's going to cost you more money than a woman with no kids.
- there will be no spontenaity in your relationship.
- sex will only happen on her time, never yours. Her life will be stressful and busy, so sex will be less than if you are with someone without kids.
- eventually, she will expect you to assume some sort of "parental" type role in her kid(s) lives even if it's the ol' "...Mind watching the kids while I go get my hair cut?"
- if you live with her and you split up, you can be held responsible for Child Support.

Are these necessarily bad things? No, but be prepared, man. Women with kids are a package deal. If you've never been a parent, or hung out with kids or single parents, you probably will not understand just how much your life will change.

Ok, said my bit....

... ladies...

Flames on....




 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
THE PILL (now for men)
Posted: 11/24/2006 2:30:08 PM
Celestial:


Ya know......I honestly cannot see a man taking a little pill every day to prevent pregnancies. Hell, I know many women who forget to take that little Pill every day. Woman now also have a patch or can take ONE injection every 6 weeks.


But, remember, more and more guys are becoming aware that each little swimming spermotazoa is like a Gold Credit Card. If a woman catches one she can collect 18 years (Minimum) of CS from the guy and he has absolutely no say in it.

Women want children and they want the money guys have.

DISCLAIMER: NOT ALL WOMEN ARE OUT TO GET PREGNANT AND NAIL A GUY FOR CS DESPITE WHAT THE GUY WANTS, BUT IT HAPPENS ALL TOO OFTEN.

EVEN PATERNITY FRAUD IS LEGAL.

Women may not trust guys to take BC, but there is absolutely no reason men should trust women either.

If I wasn't snipped already, I'd be first in line. And you'd better believe I'll have my boys on it as soon as possible too....

Cheers.
 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/24/2006 1:53:02 PM
ousu:


But as some people here already mentioned, people also change with time and some things pop out only later. I - carefully - could think that e.g. addictions could pop up with some traumatic experiences. Even though, getting easily addicted is also a biological issue, and therefore existing under the surface, it does not need to be always the case.


I agree that these sorts of things can happen after the fact.

I agree that these things crop up long after the fact, but I still think a lot of women choose guys thinking they can fix them... kinda like a fixer upper house or something....

It's a part of the Golden Vagina Syndrome.

Cheers...
 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What advice would you give..to a new dater...????
Posted: 11/24/2006 1:36:43 PM
teri:


......nope nada...Wolf #2...been shot by wolf #1....

....one down 1 to go...lol...


You aren't another one holding out until you get married are you?

Cheers and good luck. No advice to give that hasn't already been said, though I do think that putting out lots can be as much fun for you as the guys you date....

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
When a woman says that she want's sex to wait till marage what do you think?
Posted: 11/24/2006 1:33:15 PM
freedom:


I was married and I am united pentacostal church member. My son is from marrage. I was not always christain. was not when I hooked up with ex husband


Thanks.... I just asked because I've heard people claiming to be religious yet are too often SELECTIVELY religious.

If you are happy being celibate until you finally find the guy of your dreams, cool. Good luck. I think you'll be waiting a long time, but I do admire people who hold to their convictions.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 150 (view)
 
Child Support hurting NCP's
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:41:08 AM
North:


You are correct.. according to many studies re children from single parent families becoming single parents themselves ... stats are high


I know that the studies exist. I've seen the stats a number of times.... I just can't find the originals. The popular ones I mentioned are all over the place, but I'm not going to use them without citing the actual studies.

Cheers.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
When a woman says that she want's sex to wait till marage what do you think?
Posted: 11/24/2006 10:35:07 AM
freedom:


The subect of sex before marrage is a HUGE thing for me. I am a single mom and obviously not a virgin. However I am christain and I am not moving my standards


Out of curiosity, were you married before? Was you kid a product of that marriage?

Which Christian sect? Catholic? Methodist? Protestant?

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 280 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/24/2006 8:44:44 AM
bulldog:


If a man does not want to become a father, legally, his only option is suicide.


Don't forget though, suicide is illegal so if they catch you after you've committed this crime, you can be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

They getcha comin' and goin'.....

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Tax Laws Affecting Families
Posted: 11/24/2006 8:27:09 AM
bulldog:


Of course, they could outlaw divorce...


I think they should make divorce even easier and cheaper.

I think they should make marriage REALLY REALLY difficult to get into. Making it really difficult to have kids would be a good idea as well... say, you had to be married at least 5 years or something before you are allowed to have kids....

I know these things are unrealistic, unfortunately, but apparently marriage is the root cause of divorce....

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 278 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/24/2006 7:53:25 AM
babs:


Aahhh Swiftone....I have been absent too long on this post! ....I, as you know am a single Mom...(god I hate that term)....but let me throw in my two cents on the crap that is still flying with this thread! I want to address this to everyone who has posted....Our children are a product of the enviroment we create for them....



What exactly do you see as crap on this thread so far? I think it's been a rather lively discussion about a contentious issue.

I'm not sure about anyone's else's case, but my feelings about the unfairness of Family Law and the inequities that are very real have absolutely no bearing on how I raise my kids or how well adjusted or maladjusted they grow up to be.

I am a father. I am also many other things. In other words, I am not ONLY a father. Father is one aspect of who I am. At this point in my life it's a very important part of who I am.

However, I cannot suppress the part of me who is the man, the occasional warrior, the professional, the lover, the foot-loose and fancy free bachelor. I don't think I'm different this way than a lot of guys.

I think this is a very large difference between mothers and fathers. Women GENERALLY seem to subsume the woman, lover, professional etc under the role Mother. They become ONLY Mother and forget about a whole bunch of other aspects of themselves.

I worked hard to get the degrees I have. I've worked hard to get where I am and to live where I do and in the fashion I like. I did these things, no one else.

So, why is it a crime if I would prefer that I have control of ALL of my resources? I would really like to spend what I have in ways that I choose without someone else benefitting unless I want them to. Why am I and so many men vilified for this? Why is that wrong?

Am I trying to excuse men who run away and have nothing to do with their kids or do not help to raise them? NO! I think that they are, in many or most cases, swine.



 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/23/2006 2:14:32 PM
sombient:



If the strong person tries to remedy the situation by asking the weak person to correct this physiological hardwiring problem (and they CAN be corrected, believe it) as an alternative to throwing in the towel.. and the weak person refuses to change, in what he sees as an otherwise comfortable situation, then no correction is possible.


Your scenario is well put, to the point and appropriate, but, sorry, there is still that enabling aspect to it. I'm not bustin' on ya, though. Believe me, I understand this scenario.

There is one bit there though, the "...and they CAN be corrected, believe it" part. I agree but only in the case where the person WANTS to change. No matter how much a person nags, cajoles, yells, screams, lays on ultimata, no one will change unless they, themselves wants to do so.

And that's where my analogy of the golden vagina comes in. No matter how golden it is, you will never change the guy unless he wants to change.

Of course there are cases where guys have the golden penis syndrome as well. We believe that our golden penis will cure the incorrigible flirt, the free-spirited woman who loves many men, woman who chooses to cut all her hair off and put on 50 pounds after we marry them.

My point, in essence, is that we cannot change another person no matter what our good intentions are and I believe that women are more prone to making that mistake than men.

As men, we see someone with an ass we like, boobs that are perky and a willingness to take her clothes off for us, and we're in there. Reason takes a vacation for a year or two....


 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/23/2006 2:01:40 PM
roo:


"if you can not find the worth in a man then it is you that is worthless and lacking"


Nice....

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 276 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/23/2006 12:21:06 PM
cienfuegos:


He fought for these agreements to waste them away, but then gives me hardship about others. I am to supply him with answers regarding school and medical appointments, but his request is, don't tell me about them just fax them to me. He takes no intiative to inquire about his own son.


Your ex is clearly a EffWad.

I have to ask you because this sort of thing really interests me: How long were you with you ex before you became pregnant? Did you discuss having kids with him before you got pregnant?

This enquiring mind wants to know. And, to be upfront, I have this hypothesis that many of the men who run away from the kids produced from their genetic contribution were not with the woman who accepted the contribution for a long time, or they just didn't ask the questions need to be asked or didn't protect themselves as well as they could.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/23/2006 12:13:19 PM
mybad:


I am very forgiving
up until I am pushed to a certain point, but
I have been fortunate to end up with good
men in general.


That's good to hear. Not all of us are dirty, rotten bast**ds.

I wasn't poking a finger at you either about my cheater scenario... just a general "What the Eff do you expect" to all those people out there who end up surprised when their SO turns out to be an a**hole or biotch when everything was obvious right from the start.

Ahhh... ignorance is bliss .... until you open your eyes.


 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 275 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/23/2006 10:38:53 AM
crazy:


do I sound bitter??


Naahhh.....

I have joint custody and pay $630/month.

My ex isn't fat, nor does she do coke, no vices like that, but lazy? Well.... I gotta say yeah. She just got an almost full-time job, though. pretty impressive... it's only been nearly 2 years since she did that.

She gets lots quite a bit of tax-free money and subsidies as well, though I have to admit, that some of those handouts do benefit me too. My ex isn't evil, just annoying sometimes.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:41:36 AM
mybad:


I really like ur questions swiftone:


Thanks...garsh....


But in my case,
I may have gotten so angry at my ex's, but I hardly see
them as losers. I have never called them
losers either. Cheater or liar,,,yes I have said
that. Loser, no.


This is part of the same thing sometimes.... Person A starts a having sex with someone who is married or in a common-law relationship, Person B leaves the relationship they were in to be with Person A. These two people get married/living together. Person B starts a relationship with Person C and Person A is surprised that Person B turned out to be a cheater!!! (And, from experience cheaters tend to be big fat liars too).

Duh.....

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 273 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:31:20 AM
cienfuegos:



Now I am curious, why do the NCP not want to go to court and fight for custody and raise their children? If I was male or female, that is what I would fight for.


Economics and time management. Can't spend a dollar chasing a nickel, {OR a nickle, you will never see.. (my case)}. Time is money too. Here in Maryland, if court is a clear sunny day, it either cost me 300-400 dollars, PLUS lawyers fees, or working a day I'd didn't plan to work to make up for it..


I agree with BDJ on this.

Personally, I think that the courts should just automatically assume that the parents will have joint custody. Why not?

It's that part about the NCP being required to "fight" for equal rights. Why should he (most often) have to fight for what is definitely a right for the woman (most often).

There are absolutely cases where the NCP does not want anything to do with the kids. There are cases where the NCP or the CP moves away. And there is a different situation for every breakup. However, the majority of people keep contact with their kids.

I think another part of it all is that most men are not informed about the various types of custody and just assume that when the ex kicks him out that she's going to get the house and the kids.

Women are far more aware of divorce and custody law. I'm pretty sure it's one of the topics that women commonly discuss over coffee and cheesecake....

... men just lament the way they get raked over the coals.


 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 269 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:19:37 PM

If you are concerned about the amount of money that she is requesting..take it to court and have a judge order the amount. If you follow the following and show each other your income tax return each year, get out the federal calculation table and find out how much your child support really is. A lawyer will be able to do this for the both of you. If she doesn't agree to this, then take her to court and have it finalized by a judge. Best results are having the government do it for you.


And, this bit always bothers me too.

You make the assumption that the way the tables are created is equitable and based on any sort of fairness.

Do you believe that all decisions made by beaurocrats, judges and politicians are fair and equitable? I don't.

If you do, please explain to me why, when the new CS tables came out in May '06, the top end of the paying tables went up over 14% while the lower end went up less than6%??

Equality? I don't think so. 'Cause... well, go figure, men tend to be the persons who are on the top end of the scale while the women are on the lower end.

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 268 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:13:21 PM

Ok Noth Exposed, I see this time and time again, why do the NCP have to include the new "partner" in the financial equation? I wish someone could explain this to me? I know a court of law doesn't include it when calculating the NCP support, so why do NCP do this?


Again, simply because what is called Child Support is really Household Financial Equalization as I've mentioned before.

If I can find it, I'll send you a study I found. When a woman starts living with a new guy, her household income typically doubles at least. When a guy starts living with a new woman, his household income goes up WAY less than that.

So, the woman's actual contribution to household living expenses go WAY down which means that she has more money to spend on herself of to support the kids.

Why should the NCP continue to pay the same as he was?
 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
younger girls older guys
Posted: 11/22/2006 8:05:59 PM
chef:

Take a moment. Sit, relax, have a glass of your favourite beverage. Close your eyes. Imagine two women in front of you. Both are about the same height, same length hair, same weight, more or less.....

One has nice breasts that stand up, smooth skin all over and her butt is just so.... firm.

The other is well, to be nice, is in pretty good shape for an "older" woman, though the breasts just don't stand up after a couple of kids, there are more than a few wrinkles and stretch marks... the butt, though nice in jeans, just doesn't quite have it in reality.

Without speaking to either, which one are YOU going to have sex with if given the opportunity?

You may not relate, but 99% of the guys out there can...



 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 266 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:49:01 PM

I hear too many people blaming the ex for this and that ... "how my lifestyle is changed"... "how I have to work two jobs" ... reduced hours, welfare, beater car.. blah blah blah blah ... suck it up .. its life .. and this goes for CP AND NCP ... drop the blaming and set your own path, your own destiny, and your own bank account.


AAAAAaaaamen!
AAAAAAAaaaamen!
aaaAAAmen, Amen, Amen

 swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Ending up with a loser....
Posted: 11/22/2006 7:21:01 PM
.liv:


That's actually one of the things that still terrifies me and holds me back from looking for love -- can I trust myself enough to read a man properly? Or will history repeat itself?

To be fair, I do not blame my ex for anything I endured. I decided to stay. I could have left at any moment.


I can sure empathize (relate, man...;>...).

I wonder about myself often and in all honesty, keeps me from diving in with eyes closed like I used to do.

I appreciate your honesty. I think that is very cool.

Cheers.

 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 263 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:31:48 PM
cienfuegos:


As for "SYMPATHY" try using the word "EMPATHY". There is a huge difference between the two definitions and empathy is what you should be referring to. People tend to use the wrong word.


Are you talking to me? It helps if you can use the quotes function. Check out the help section.

I didn't use "SYMPATHY" here if you are referring to me. And, believe me, I am well aware of the difference if it was me you were pointing that cannon at.


The word "household" means exactly what it means, household. It doesn't mean extra expenses.


Now, this reference I can tell is aimed at me. And, yes, 'household' is exactly what my beef is. Child Support is about the children. Household support is about the household.

I'm well aware of the difference, but thanks for keeping me on my toes.

Cheers.


 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Here's why I don't answer women's questions.
Posted: 11/22/2006 6:15:52 PM

Is it always all about you??


No... it shouldn't be about him, it should be about ME!

Sheesh, the self-centredness of some people...

 
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