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 Author Thread: Hmmmm Looks like we have changes to I am looking for options
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hmmmm Looks like we have changes to I am looking for options
Posted: 3/5/2011 1:40:34 PM
I agree with Trapped that "hang out" and "friends" are redundant. One would hope if you're choosing to hang out with someone you're trying to create a friendship with them.

Rather than deleting the one choice though, I'd like to see:

Dating
Long Term
IE
Offline Friends (or Hang Out)... and described as those you'd actually like to meet!
and
ONLINE Friends Only

Lord knows all the thousands of members who are truly only on here for that reason! Now if they'd only be honest........................

UZP
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 178 (view)
 
Anger in a relationship, or in life in general...
Posted: 12/18/2010 11:14:06 PM
Feel free to expand on those questions if you wish with your own comments on anger in general...

Everyone experiences anger at one time or another and more than likely several times during their life. Just because someone feels angry at one point or another doesn’t make them an angry person. However, some people tend to feel/act angry wayyyyy more than others do which may possibly label them as an angry person.
**The important thing isn’t whether or not we experience the feeling but how we handle it.

Appropriate ways to handle anger are ways that don’t involve hurting ourselves or others.
Inappropriate ways to handle anger are ways that do involve hurting ourselves or others.

Never put yourself in harm's way by staying around a person who handles anger in an inappropriate manner. Seek help for yourself and/or them.

Some Appropriate Ways to Handle Anger:
Talk to someone about it, preferably the person who’s making you angry. If that’s not possible, talk with someone else.
Take a time out to think about what’s really making you angry to make sure your anger is valid.
Count to 10.
Take a walk.
Jog.
Write.
Take a bath.
Listen to music.
Scream in a pillow.
Get it out somehow in an appropriate manner and don’t take it out on anyone else.

Yes, I teach anger control. Feel free to pass this along to anyone who's experiencing the feeling especially those handling it in an inappropriate manner or those dealing with such a person.


I was angry yesterday, when I saw a group or young men walking my way and one of them took opportunity to spit on the windshield of an oncoming bus. No wonder bus drivers often seem to be in a foul mood!

You were angry by something you saw. That anger was justified and it was not triggered by fear. It was triggered by your sense of knowing right from wrong.


I was outnumbered and also questioned whether my comment would make any difference, so I walked by them looking for their eyes, but said nothing.
Now I am angry at myself for being a chicken.

You may be angry at yourself because you ALSO felt fear as to what would happen if you said something but once again, your anger was not triggered by fear. It was triggered by your disappointment in yourself to speak out because you felt not only anger, but fear.

Anger and fear are two different feelings/emotions and one doesn’t usually spark the other. We can experience both of them together however especially when we fear something that makes us angry or we get angry because we fear something......and both can be the effect of the same cause.
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Bullies
Posted: 12/18/2010 10:22:34 PM
I don’t think it’s gender specific. Bullies enjoy intimidating other people to achieve some kind of false high and to make themselves appear “cool” to others. It’s unfortunate but it goes on way past school age for too many people until perhaps they get the same treatment in return, or they somehow come to understand the cruelty involved with what they’re doing and decide it‘s not really the responsible, appropriate way to act.

All you can do is to live your life in a way you know is right and continue to treat others respectfully which is the way you want to be treated too. For those who push you past your limit, especially those causing you possible harm, report them to whomever you need to so someone else steps in to help. Hopefully in time they’ll grow out of their immature behavior or something will happen to make it change. In the meantime, have your friends watch your back…as you’d watch theirs I'm sure!

UZP
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
how do I respond?
Posted: 12/13/2010 12:58:26 PM
If he doesn't out and out ask how you feel, there's no reason to respond.
If he does, you can tell him honestly that you're not really sure because you're still trying to get to know him. And that's the truth!
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 39 (view)
 
What song lyrics fit your life right now?
Posted: 8/7/2010 3:21:40 PM
Need You Now...Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time


It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now


Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all

It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
just need you now

Ooo, baby, I need you now
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 328 (view)
 
First Line, Last Line (Part Deux)
Posted: 8/2/2010 1:34:19 PM
even though we all know all she sees is a blur,
Its much better than total darkness for her:
Any light coming through to distinguish her days,
Lifts her spirits which helps her in so many ways,

My moms fear was of days when she might go blind,
Darkness came upon her just before her time:
Can’t think of it now or it makes me cry,
Matters not all the years that have since gone by!
 UnzippedPassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 146 (view)
 
8 Line Poetry Stanzas - Use Last Line 4 First Line
Posted: 7/31/2010 5:35:21 PM
that was seven, here's one more for thee...
Someone can’t count, and that’s plain to see.
But we’ll go on showing it doesn't matter,
If we make this thread even fatter and fatter.

Let me jump on in to bring it back around,
As I type my eight sentences and wind it on down.
Following the rules does certainly pay,
For intelligence shows in so many ways…………

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
My Profile Pics are being deleted :(
Posted: 8/28/2009 9:59:43 AM
You're welcome.
Hmmm, that sounds fishy to me! Perhaps the pic was too dark or blurry. Holding something next to you wouldn't do it unless it were a copyright item or it was hiding your face. I bet he wasn't smiling.

I had a pic like the one you have up now where I enhanced the color and it was removed. I think I enhanced it too much and perhaps other's couldn't tell it was me. Another time I had a pic of myself at my son's college and I was pointing up to a banner that said "PASSION" and it was removed. It seemed so fitting for my screen name. lol I was probably too small in the photo to distinguish my face though so I cropped it to bring my face in closer and then it was acceptable. As long as your face is in all the pics and it's clear and recognizable, it's fine.
A good test is to look at the pic as if it's standing alone, not next to any of your other pics that may be clear. If that pic wouldn't be immediately recognizable by your family and/or friends, it's probably not a good choice.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
My Profile Pics are being deleted :(
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:11:27 AM
I don't believe your pic would be eliminated based on one person reporting it. The following link may give you some answers.
Msg. 11
IMAGES / PICS RELATED
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5028773.aspx#10395124

From the page you upload your images:

All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot.
Cartoons, celebrity, bare torso and joke pictures will be deleted.


More from the Admin:

Cartoons, Artwork, Drawings, Animals, Celebrities, Joke pictures, Shirtless males, Image effects enhanced pics of yourself etc., are not allowed. If you cannot normally be recognized then it's not permitted.
NO NUDITY
ALL pictures MUST contain you in it with a visible head shot at minimum


Also note that if you're standing too far away, the pic is blurred, or anything obstructs a clear view of your face, such as deeply tinted or very reflective glasses, closed eyes, hair, hats, hands, it may make you unrecognizable.

I think the key is...you must be visible and recognizible as yourself.


**A thread search is very helpful. This topic is covered many times a day. : )
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I don't get it
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:46:33 AM

Well, I'm going to put the picture right back up. It doesn't break any rules of indecency at all,
There you go, defy the authorities. That'll get you far. lol You just laughed about this on another thread I responded to where I posted the very clearly written rules taken from right on the very page you upload your pics. All I'll add now is....

If I get my account banned that will even be more hilarious!
I couldn't agree more!!! Thanks for the laugh... And the fact that you're asking for it by continuing to break the rules, means you deserve it.


So What's bannable about my picture? Maybe if their is a good reason, i'll change it.
Once again..the rules state:

All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot.
Cartoons, celebrity, bare torso and joke pictures will be deleted.
My guess is that the joke pic isn't considered a recognizable head shot and that bottle caps are in the running with sunglasses. Point is, you were told it was unacceptable and you're chosing to ignore that which means there's no other choice but to push the consequences.
If it were me, I'd remove that pic AND the one with the hat covering your face, immediately. But that's just me because I understand that we have rules for a reason. And furthermore, the reason doesn't have to be a good one. You don't own the site and are only but a guest here. When in someone else's house, we follow their rules, leave on our own, or get thrown out! You're lucky you were given a choice.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Suggestion: Profile blocking
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:04:02 AM
You can hide your profile by going to the "edit" profile page but then others won't be able to find you either unless it's through the forums or their favorite list.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile Suggestion...tell me what you think!
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:53:36 PM
For one thing, it would never be an accurate account of how someone rates. For example, I very rarely rate pics. Once in a while though I will. When I do rate them it's based on the quality of the photo, and not how attractive I find the person. Unfortunately, many photos are either blurry or out of compliance. Therefore, my rating history would be low. That does NOT tell you anything about my personality.

As for viewing the fans, you could use it to say thank you and start a conversation if you like but honestly, I rarely go to that page at all. And to see low votes would only cause problems and stop people from voting honestly. The other thing is..we only have access to x amount of fans and those are the one's who rated us the highest. In fact I don't think that list of mine changed since I achieved enough 10's to fill the page years ago. And the truth of the matter is....I actually did it to prove that someone in the "older" OUCH catagory was capable of getting in the top 500. At that time it was a move for all women my age. LOL


what i think is that anyone who possesses so little self-esteem as to require votes from unknown internet viewers to determine their own self-worth, isn't anyone i want to know.

so, i neither care about them, nor about the sociopaths that choose to exercise their anonymous internet votes to instill self-doubts in those they view and assess.

I know she loves me........because she knows me. : )
And geeze...now that my 500 favorites are gone, this is all I have left. Can't I have any fun here anymore?

**FTR, I would prefer to have the forums listed on the profiles and my favorites count back but c'est la vie, tis not my site and I'm sure there's a reason for everything.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Last 30 visiting users who haven't received a first contact email in over a day within 50 miles of..
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:25:28 PM
It can also be seen by clicking on "No Emails" located on the top right side when you're viewing your profile page. As I said, 24 hours/over a day sure doesn't seem like anything to worry about. : )
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Your input routine allows illegal dates. There IS a problem!
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:06:50 PM
Ohhh I get you.. ^^^ : )

Just to clarify, this isn't only about new profiles because I'm an "oldie moldie" and mine now says the 1st too. lol It never did before though.

I'm sure the Admin will fix it when he realizes it and/or has the time, especially if it changes someone's horoscope because that's used for some of the searches.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
religion forum
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:55:04 PM

Can anyone else verify, that they can or cannot, while being logged in ?
I see it just fine.....

One thing I learned though, sometimes we think we're logged in but we're not. Make sure you try to post to be sure. Then check the Main Forum Page. I couldn't see the event hostess threads and it was driving me nuts because I didn't know why. Ticket kept telling me to log in but I thought I was because I switched over to the forums from the dating part and I was able to read everything. Not so. I had to log in again on the forum side. Silly me! : )

Just a thought.....
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Last 30 visiting users who haven't received a first contact email in over a day within 50 miles of..
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:35:31 PM
A first contact email means that someone sent them an email first...other than the Admin welcoming them to the site!

Why it states "Last 30 visiting users who haven't received a first contact email in over a day within 50 miles of Zip Code....", I'm not sure. A day certainly doesn't seem that bad. However, I have to believe it means exactly what it states.
I don't remember the 24 hour part being there before though and thought what was meant when it stated "Last 30 visiting users who haven't received a first contact email" was that those members never received a first contact email from anyone since registering on the site.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Uploading photographs
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:09:47 PM
Try reading this...
Msg. 11
Images/Pics Related

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts5028773.aspx#10395124
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How to post party pics????
Posted: 8/26/2009 9:26:29 PM
In order to start a pic thread for an event, you must be named as a co host or as someone to upload the pics by the host/hostess who started the event thread. Check with them to see if you were listed and to make sure they didn't start a pic thread already.

If they didn't, and they agree to name you, you'll be able to start it in the following way.
Go to the event thread (after they named you). Scroll down to under the pics of those who signed up for the event. There you'll see,
Create a new thread to upload images taken of this party.
(Unless you are added to upload event images you will NOT see that sentence there!)
When you click on "upload images" a page will open for you to start a new thread. Once you get to the new thread I suggest using the exact name of the event with the word (PICS) after it. That's what I usually do so it's easy for everyone to find.

Post a simple introduction about the event and/or pics. It's nice to remind everyone to left click on each pic to view it in it's enlarged state and to right click to save the image to their own computer.
After that you'll see two open boxes with "browse" next to them on the bottom of the page. You can upload two pics at a time. If the page disappears after you post your introduction just go back to your location on the forums, click on event images, and you'll see your thread there to continue uploading the pics.
You can get to your location by clicking on:
Forums
USA Forums
Arkansas
Arkansas single events ....... images

*IF however someone already started a pic thread you may not start another one. They can either add your name to the already started pic thread so YOU can upload your pics there, or you can email them the pics for them to upload for you.

I hope that helped.......

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 1501 (view)
 
LAST LINE REPEATED STANZAS using 8 lines
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:59:45 PM
many shoulders lessen any chore
Now get on up off the dirty floor
I'm offering mine so lean on in
And don't be afraid to confess that sin

My lips are sealed, not a word will I say
For I'm not the one heading up judgement day
Some prayers and a blessing just for you and me
And I hope when I'm up there, there you'll be.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 1495 (view)
 
LAST LINE REPEATED STANZAS using 8 lines
Posted: 8/25/2009 5:33:21 PM
and enter the goddess's temple un-pained
but from there you'll be cast away
For your soul to the God's belongs from then on
Heed the words that you hear me say

For the sins that you carry will be there no more
but the price that you pay will be time
And you'll sit there in limbo from that day forth
where forever you'll wait for a sign.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Stud up
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:17:58 AM
I don't think it's fun. I think it's rude and disrespectful. If you set a date you should be there or call within 15 minutes of the set time to explain why you're late. If you need to cancel it should be done as soon as you realize you can't make it and hopefully that's before the person gets dressed to leave the house!

If this has happened to you, I'm sorry. The person was immature and obviously never learned manners! If it helps, you can think.......what goes around, comes around!

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Sexy or Slutty?? Picture & Profile review Please
Posted: 8/17/2009 8:38:04 PM

Thank you all. Unzipped
You're welcome.
I like them both but I think the one in green has this really different sort of smiling grin that I find attractive. The two pics of you in white, the one by the tree and the one on the beach are almost the same exact pose. I like the one on the beach a little better but would like to see it cropped on top to bring you in closer. If you don't know how to do that and would like to see how it looks, you can email me and I'll be happy to help you.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Parental Critique at Our Age??
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:00:43 AM
I've always heard that the only times advice should be given is:
If it's a life and death situation
If it's asked for
But many times when it comes to those we love we feel their situation is a life and death one or at least one that's heading for a disaster that we don't want to see them go through so we can't help ourselves from speaking up because we care.

I always respected my mom's opinion and she was wonderful with never pushing me or turning her back on me if I decided to choose another route. Her love for me was unconditional and it's the greatest thing she passed down to me along with respecting all those I know love me and care about me as well as those I love and care about, enough to hear what it is they have to say and to give my opinion if I think they need it.
Yes, there were times I didn't agree with her and went my own way but I needed to do that as we all do to gain our own experiences.

The funny thing is...this is a catch 22 question for those of us who have children.
I hope my children will always open their ears to at least hear what I have to say and know that my wisdom from past experiences can be very valuable to them. Whether or not they listen to my advice is up to them and I won't say.." I told you so" after any failure but I will think it and hope it opens their ears even moreso next time. lol

I'll also add that I find the older my children get the more they trust my opinion and come to me for advice and the older I got the more I thought like my parents. That's a scary thing that I never thought would happen but now that I am older I can admit that my Mother is the woman I most want to be like and am somewhat turning into .

I miss her
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Sexy or Slutty?? Picture & Profile review Please
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:28:16 AM
In my opinion you have a very well written profile and I especially like that you stated whom you're searching for (as in your personal preferences/restrictions) in your "about me" and that you left it open for all ages etc to write to you. Recognizing that our friends may want to contact us too and not putting limitations on who they may be is nice.

The only change I would make with your wording is in your subject heading. The word "Troll" is not viewed as a good thing on here..lol

As for the pics, if you're happy in them and it reflects that, that's a good thing. If it were my profile though I would trade out two of those pics and only because you have on the same outfit showing almost the same pose in 4 of them. I'd keep one close up in the white shirt and one full body pic in the same outfit and replace the other two to refect you in a different way. My favorite is the one from the Meet but that's just my opinion and you should use whichever one's make you feel the best. In answer to your question, NO, they're not too slutty. If someone feels that way about the way you feel comfortable dressing and/or expressing yourself, that's THEIR problem. Stay true to yourself.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Time for Better Bait or Not?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:04:49 AM
In my opinion improvements are always a good move and we also need "bait". This is Plenty of Fish. lol And you're casting your line with thousands of other fishermen you know. You're also swimming in the deep blue sea with thousands so if you want to be noticed/caught, you better do something to stand out.

I've had relatively the same profile since I've been on here because I took a long time writing it, was comfortable with what was said, and get a lot of compliments on it. However, I change the pics all the time to keep them current and interesting. I feel that by doing that it also catches the eyes of those who have been on here a while to go back and look at the profile again.

A well written profile shows intelligence to me and it doesn't matter if it's long or short as long as it's written well and contains some substance. Pics are an absolute must and I'd always suggest a few so members can see you in various lights. Just my opinion...............

There's also a profile review section for anyonw who desires opinions to see if others feel changes should be made to their profile and where suggestions run wild. Sometimes brutal though, but most times overall helpful. And yes it is all opinion so you have to pick and choose what works best for you to keep it reflecting who YOU really are because you're the only person who knows that.



Edit for poster below: Yes, sometimes the profile review forum brings in many suggestions BUT if someone is asking for a review it's because they KNOW they need some kind of change. If they choose the best suggestions that will enable them to still reflect the unique person they are, it should help them. They shouldn't be changing things "just because" someone says to, but rather because it's a recognizable improvement to themselves and perhaps one they never thought of before.
It's like someone suggesting to always use a pic. You can take that suggestion or not, the decision is yours. And even if proof is shown that those with pics receive several times more email than those without, the choice is still theirs...but the suggestion was made to be helpful.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Second time around
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:43:58 PM
I was with my second husband more than 25 years! All I can say is never give up on your search or you'll be giving up on yourself and what could be a long happy life with someone.

Now I heard the third times a charm so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.. or was that 3 strikes and I'm out?
Either way my door will remain open because I have faith that all good things come to those who wait, and those who pray like crazy!!!
Hope, Faith, and Love
and the greatest of these is......... LOVE!

Okay, let's all sing with Nickelback now...and listen real carefully to that chorus and last verse!
Gotta Be Somebody

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

chorus............
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.


Tonight, out on the street out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my own breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?


repeat chorus

You can´t give up!
Lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on


repeat chorus
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What do you gals get up to on a Sunday?
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:06:46 PM
I usually go to Mass and then it depends on where I'm at and with whom I'm spending the day.
I try to keep it on a relaxing level though, like a total wind down of the week although sometimes it doesn't end up that way.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
How do I post an event?
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:06:43 PM
Click on the Following.........
Forums... or Show All Forums
Canada Forums
Ontario
Ontario Singles Events
On the top left side of the page..."Create Party Thread"



**For anyone else:
Forums...or Show All Forums
Then click on your location on the top left (Canada Forums or USA Forums) and follow the steps above using your own location.

Here's a link to information and/or rules, tips, and suggestions for anyone wishing to host a party. On this page you'll also find a link to the Event Moderator or Admin for any questions, requests or help.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingposts1156438.aspx
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Roses or chocolates?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:03:38 AM
I'd prefer roses and even a single one is fine but anything would be great. As he gets to know me more, noting personal favorites of mine and surprising me with them is a bigger plus. It doesn't even have to be a monetary gift but even things like going on a surprise outing to somewhere he knows I'll enjoy or picking up the phone to give me that surprise phone call just to tell me I'm on his mind. It really is the thought that counts and what it comes down to is that he's actually giving his time and making an effort to show me he's thinking of me and wants to make me happy.
Backing up his words with actions that show me I stand out to him more than anyone else is what it's all about.
And heck, I'm easy, I'm even happy with a virtual rose on here!!!

E=effort=excellent!
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Sex with the lights off?
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:36:00 PM

You can tell her until you are blue in the face. If she doesn't believe you it won't matter how many times you say it. Words mean precious little to some people. I get told here all the time how beautiful I am, how pretty, how sexy, etc. Mostly by guys looking to get laid. Know what that does to someone??? Makes them not believe it. ACTIONS say so much more than mere words. SHOW her that she's sexy and turns you on and that you want to see her as you make love to her.

Amen and Amen... I've been trying to teach that to so many people. I even hear " I love you" and yet they can never back it up with actions. No phone calls, no gestures, nothing that shows me they really mean those words. That means that their " I love you" or " you're hot" or "I want you" is equal to everyone else saying the same exact words. Without actions to back up the words, it'll never register as anything different. It can be as little as sending her a rose or a small note that simply states that you can't stop thinking of her or call her to let her know she's on your mind. Do something, anything..but take that extra step so she knows she stands out to you more than anyone else around. Don't expect her to be a mind reader and never assume that she knows you love her or care merely by the words that so many others say as well. You have to make sure she really feels it and never ever ever let her wonder or she'll never believe you or feel confident/secure with your feelings for her and she'll never be able to come around.



Sounds like great advice, but Geeshhh! Awful lot of 24/7 coaxing and laying of breadcrumb trails. Lol
I don't think it takes 24/7 to drop a reminder to help the person you want to feel secure about your feelings and isn't it worth it if you truly do love her and want to help her to become more secure about your feelings so you can both enjoy the intimate moments together? And with that helmet idea, that's still light to her so unless you do succeed on helping her to relax and believe you find her totally attractive, that light is as good as off because otherwise it will still feel like a giant spot light to her especially in a pitch black tent. I like the idea for farther down the road though, it's even a little kinky....but perhaps starting off with candles would be better. Watching how near the tent walls they are of course. lol
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sex with the lights off?
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:42:05 PM
I like her ^^^^ thinking but I know men are very visual.

I'm one of those totally insecure and nervous about my physical self people so dimming the lights in the beginning of a new relationship helps my inhibitions decrease. (That and a drink sometimes to help me relax) lol I guess it's up to you whether you'd rather be with a worried less aggressive woman in the total light or a wild kinky one in a less lit room.

My advice would be that instead of forcing her out of the darkness into the total light, to start with candlelight or a nightlight shining through from another room. Encourage her and help her to believe that you really do find her attractive and assure her that any imperfections she notices (that probably stand out like a huge flashing light in her mind) really aren't something you're focusing on. Share with her any imperfections you find with yourself as well. That way she can see that you don't find yourself perfect and you're not looking for perfection, only someone who's perfect for you. I think it makes all the difference in the world when we're with a caring partner who knows how to make us feel secure in everything they're saying and they handle it in a very loving way. As time goes on increase the lighting a little each time. Keep reassuring her how beautiful she looks to you.

Also, try telling her she's beautiful at other times of the day and remind her how turned on you were while you were with her the other night. Follow up with actions so there's no doubt in her mind that you're totally attracted to her and want her for herself regardless of how bad she thinks she looks. Knowing she's not only a physical desire to you will also help her overcome the feeling of having to be perfectly appealing in the physical sense to your eyes in bed and lose the fear that you may not want her otherwise. Let her know that her other good qualities are important to you as well and are important in making up who she is to you. Once she's really secure in knowing that you're not judging her (or turned off by what she fears in her own mind), and that you want her more than anything else....she'll be able to perform with more and more lights on.

Before you know it, she'll be smiling for the camera! Maybe...

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Should men pay half of the expense of women's birth control?
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:12:58 PM
It seems to me that if both parties would be responsible for the outcome should birth control not work, both parties should be concerned and responsible for preventing that birth if a child isn't wanted at the time. No matter which partner takes the precaution one would hope as responsible adults they'd discuss the form they want to use and how it will be paid for. Of course I'm assuming this is concerning two mutually committed adults who care about each other and discuss where and when children will play a part in their relationship.

Other than the deductible, most health insurances cover the major expense related to the pill but even if they don't have health insurance the pill isn't that expensive especially if the cost is shared. To some people 20. to 30. per month may be hard on their budget but what's 10. to 15. per month if shared especially compared to a court ordered support for half the child's expenses for the next 18 some years, not counting college? Gee, I think I'd spring for the approx. 15. per month if it meant she couldn't afford to pay the whole thing.

I'd also bet if it were someone he was really into and she told him she couldn't have sex with him unless he chipped in or even paid for her pills, he'd find a way to cover their cost. lol JMO

All and all my opinion is the responsibility should be both parties whether it's to prevent conception or raising a child after birth. I also feel they should both be mature enough to verbally communicate how things will be handled BEFORE the sex takes place so each partner is in full understanding and agreement before any unexpected/expected outcome.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 141 (view)
 
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:31:58 PM
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
I think chivalry and good manners go hand and hand, both showing a very respectful character and both genders should be displaying those same manners and respect towards each other.

Yes, I definitely notice when someone takes the time to open the car door for me first or holds the door to allow me to walk in first and a mental note gets made that a gentleman is in my presence. But if they didn't open the door for me I wouldn't rule out their being a respectful person....only that they never realized just how many things they could do for a woman to show good manners of the kind that deserve to be mentally noted. lol I'm sure that's because less and less people display chivalry of that manner and therefore others no longer see or learn from them. Never taught, never learned, never displayed....and so the cycle goes until it becomes a dying art.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
how long would you wait
Posted: 8/10/2009 1:56:24 PM
If she's at fault she should really be the one to call. However, sometimes it's difficult for some people to communicate or make the first move. If you value her friendship then unfortunately it may be necessary for you to take the first step needed to correct whatever is wrong.
Personally I feel that a short cooling period off may be needed in many situations however anything more than a few hours to a day max will only put distance in your relationship because one or the other will start to feel the other one sincerely doesn't care about them or how they feel and that's never a good thing.

I don't like when things are unsettled and want/need them talked about as soon as possible or the distraction renders me incapable of going on with other important things in my life, especially if the disagreement is with someone I really care about. Hurt feelings on either side can destroy the best of relationships and the more time that goes by, the more hurt we feel.

Therefore, communicate, any way you know how...asap. Hopefully your friend will learn from your reaching out to her what it means to care about someone as a friend, as much as you care about her, and IF there is a next time perhaps she'll be the one to reach out to you. Friendship is a two way street and it's so much nicer when it's shared.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
August 7, 2009 - Let's Mix it up with DJ Night - Howell, NJ (PICS)
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:21:30 PM
It looks like it was another great night hosted by two beautiful ladies, Blush111 and CJ461!

I was asked to help upload the pics for my friends so here they are. I did my usual lightening, cropping, etc and think they all look fine. If however anyone isn't happy with their pic, please email me and I'll remove it asap. If anyone wants to save a pic from this thread, just left click on the pic to enlarge it, then right click and hit "save picture as."

*Be sure to left click on all pics to view them in their enlarged state.

Hope to see everyone soon....

UZP
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 8/8/2009 5:35:05 PM
Pregnancy is one of the worst reasons to get married. If the love isn’t strong enough for you to get married without the cause of a child than the love will never be what it should be to bring up your child in the best light because believe me it takes a lot of involvement and team work to do so.
Yes, in some instances you may learn to love each other but in most cases that high level of love is what determines the desire to spend your lives together and that love not only builds the marriage but prepares you for any child created by the two people. When done in that sequence the birth of a child created by both people strengthens their bond and makes it possible to get through most things. The determining factor in spending their lives together should be based on the love they have for each other and not based on their creation of a child that may or may not have been formed during a time both parties actually loved each other. Unfortuanately it may have been formed during any number of other sexual episodes both parties were experiencing together so the child may not have even been created with love. Therefore forcing two people who may not even love each other to unite eternally would have very negative effects on the child as well as both parties.

As difficult as it would be I’d never marry someone just because I were pregnant. If that person remained a part of my life and their child’s and IF I felt the love was what it should be to secure a happy home for all of us I might say yes someday especially if I felt the child was created during a time we felt a strong love for each other.
However, IF I told someone I may be pregnant and they didn’t even care enough to find out if I were or not or to support me through any tests I had to take, I may not even tell them the outcome even if it were positive. My thinking would be…….why should I make them feel trapped or forced to be with me when they really don’t want to be or they would have stayed by my side at least to find out the outcome. Having a child together would bond us in some way forever and I don‘t know if I could handle that with someone I felt didn‘t really want any part of me in their life anymore.

Now I’m sure there will be those who will say…”but they have a right to know”. But they DID know the possibility was there if I told them and if they didn’t care enough to stay close during the most crucial time in the very beginning of life, what kind of father would they make? Not one I’d want to feel like was forced to be a part of our lives that’s for sure or one who chose to ignore what was happening and chose to stay away. I’d sooner set them free and make do without them.

**I know financial problems may force obligations to be made, but my first impulse would be………if they didn’t care enough now, why bother because it will only make the situation worse down the road when they “blame me” for something that was just as much their doing. And in reality I would never put up with any child of mine being labeled a "mistake" rather than an unexpected but wonderful blessed gift from God.

Just my personal opinion for my own life and not anyone elses as I understand that all situations are different.
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 75 (view)
 
How much should a man chase you to show he is interested?
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:29:25 PM
Whoops..this was one of those sometimes! LMAO..Double Post!
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 74 (view)
 
How much should a man chase you to show he is interested?
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:26:32 PM
How much should a man chase you to show he is interested?


I don’t know if “chase you” is the right words but I’ll say he should pursue you enough to make sure you know for a fact that he’s interested and it’s not just a case of him thinking you’re hot! That of course means using proper communication skills that not only involve words but actions to back his desires up. (Anybody can say anything to get what they want!) He should verbalize, call, send an unexpected note, add you to his favorites, do something/anything…to make you notice him and aware that he truly is interested in you above everyone else. If you don’t feel special by what he does or says to you, chances are he’s not going to get a chance to get any closer to you than anyone else. I also do believe that IF a man is interested in you, you'll know it. There won't be any guess work because he'll want you to know it and won't want to take the chance of you missing his signals or looking elsewhere.
BTW..this works both ways. : )


Girls are so dumb sometimes

So are boys....
Aren't we lucky it's only sometimes?!!
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
what would you rather have, peace or passion?
Posted: 8/8/2009 11:15:49 AM
I wanted to add an afterthought as a general observation of myself as well as others I know who sometimes choose peace over a passion that disturbs their calm.

I find that many times by choosing peace and not wanting to ruffle feathers etc...we'll sit by and watch the things we WISH for or things we'd like to see changed and even the desires we crave pass us by because we don't want to take a chance for fear of disturbing our peace. By not trying though we hold ourselves back and can't possibly experience as many things as those who aren't afraid to cause a disturbance. In fact the only way to fail is by not trying.
Yet those who hold a love so strong for the things they believe in have a passion that drives them to do what's in their heart regardless of the outcome. Sometimes they fail but at least they try and I'm sure accomplish more than they thought they could and certainly more than those who choose to keep things peaceful above all cost. In fact remaining peaceful can cut us out of some wonderful outcomes that only those who are driven by passion will go after and enjoy the benefits from.

I thank God for all those with enough passion that drives them to fight for things that are right for all of us regardless of how much it disturbs their lives. I hope to always possess a passion for all those around me and for life, enough so to keep pushing me to always move towards the things I want, the things I desire, the things I know are right regardless of how much it may ruffle feathers or disturb my space for a while. In those instances my passion and drive from it are the only thing to give me PEACE of Mind which I absolutely need.

Peace is necessary...and allows us to sleep at night. But remember, passion can also lead to a very peaceful sleep.

Yep....I'd say both are necessary in our lives.
UnzippedPASSION
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
what would you rather have, peace or passion?
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:07:07 AM
I guess that all depends on one's interpretation or the definition they use to describe their passion for something. (and yes I know there are many) I have intense passion of the very best kind for many things in life especially those I love with all my heart and because of that I have no trouble showing it openly with many signs....or communicating it to them so they know for sure. (It's crumb when you have to wonder IF they even feel/felt love for you.........)

With that said there's a time and place for everything including peace AND passion and without a balance of both, which I believe is achievable...the relationship would never be the best it could be. In fact, I'm at peace when I'm passionate for someone and they show it in return.
Using passion as defined below, certainly shows that it means the strongest and highest of levels that we all hope to reach with our partners...
*strong sexual desire and excitement
*intense enthusiasm for something: a keen interest in a particular subject or activity
*object of enthusiasm: the object of somebody’s intense interest or enthusiasm

All I'll add is that based on all the definitions I'm listing above, if peace means living without or never experiencing passion...........I'd choose passion. And I certainly hope the man who desires and loves me thinks the same or we're in big trouble.
UnzippedPASSION
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why do men assume all women are like thier ex?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:16:39 AM
I think a lot of times we tend to judge things by past experiences and that it's both genders who do that. Hurtful things especially are difficult to believe can be significantly different with someone new even though given the chance they can. Each and every person is unique and significant for themselves so giving them the benefit of the doubt and trusting that this new situation will work will give it a much better survival rate than automatically deeming it disaster based on past relationships. In fact the only way it can work is to treat it differently. The most important thing though is communication about prior hurt feelings so you know where the actions are stemming from. That way you can work through them.


Do you end the relationship or do you try to work through it?
That depends on the person you're dealing with. What are their positives vs negatives? Are they worth the hard work it takes to resolve past hurts they're holding on to? Are they the type of person who will communicate with you to get to the root of the problem to resolve it so that neither party is holding things inside that can fester later on down the road? Do they lock doors or keep them open? Are they able to hear and do they try to understand the reason something is bothering you? Do you do the same?Are they capable of compromise?? Those are all important issues.

Personally I try as hard as I can to love, trust, hope, respect and have faith that the any relationship I'm in will survive and excell. Regardless of how they treat me back especially in the beginning, my goal is to show them the way it SHOULD be in a healthy loving relationship. Once I do that all I can hope for is that they see someone different in ME who way surpasses who they had before. That way they should eventually be able to let go of past resentments with an understanding that this relationship can be different if not held back by their past fears that it or I will turn out like their previous partner who hurt them.


Can they really move forward and put the past where it belongs?
I believe so but not unless they really want to. One would hope they'd come to see and realize that the new relationship is different from the past ones and that the new person involved treats them differently/better than their prior partners did. Therefore that should hopefully make them willing to work at whatever it takes to make the new one a happy healthy relationship that lasts a lifetime. Of course that means they have to change by treating you differently/openly and not as if they're still with a prior partner who hurt them and they may not even realize they're doing that. IF you do your part to really show them that you possess the qualities needed to build a good solid loving relationship and they can't see it, and if they can't TRUST you that things won't be the same as in their past, and if they can't have faith that this love is something so different and rare, than they'll probably never see it in anyone else either. Talk things out, love from the heart, have compassion for the past, hope for the best.....and that's all any of us can do to give it the best shot.

FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE...............and the greatest of these is LOVE
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Is trust dead?
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:43:30 AM
Trust is a very important part of all relationships. When I'm involved with someone I need to trust them completely in order to give of myself the way I feel is necessary in order for the relationship to go the farthest it can. I don't believe a relationship can survive without it. Therefore I try to show that trust in every way I can so they know without a doubt that the trust is there. However, IF that trust is damaged it would be a loooonnnnng time before I'd be able to trust them again, if ever.

In return I expect the same kind of trust and find THAT necessary for the relationship to exceed as well. Without feeling that I'm trusted completely it would hold me back from various parts of the relationship beginning with delicate conversations I may need to have or giving myself completely in a way that I know is going to be recipricated. They may not even realize that something's missing but I do and know myself and that I'm capable of more things when I feel that I'm trusted which in turn makes me happy. If I'm not happy, and upset from any type of feeling, it's going to take away from something even if it's hidden.

I know people who SAY they trust but when it comes time to proving it they fall short. It may be something so easy and trivial for them but very meaningful to the other person and yet they just don't get it or the damage they're doing by not giving the trust that person deserves. They'll come up with all kinds of excuses, non rational, and certainly none worth making the other person feel like they do. It's almost ridiculous that they'd make the choice they do and hurt the very person they claim to love and trust. I seriously believe they just don't understand. If you love and trust you do it completely or you don't really trust at all. It's that simple. Either someone has your trust or they don't. There's no halfway trusts....
Sometimes I think it stems from past relationships where other partners deceived them in various ways therefore causing them to lose trust or making it harder to trust again. But when it comes to someone new like me for example, I'm not their past partners, I'm ME, someone new and very trustworthy who will give to them in the way that I want to be trusted back. I also think that they don't realize the damage they're doing by carrying past feelings forward instead of starting with a clean slate. It's like saying "I love you BUT"........................... which takes something away.

I can say.....I love them BUT......I need to be trusted the same way that I trust them in order to be happy and give in a way they'll totally benefit from. Trust this, when we're happy and content we're able to achieve much higher goals!
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
have we met before?
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:02:30 AM
Instead of thinking in a negative manner, perhaps he felt really awkward and didn't know whether or not you wanted him to say anything especially since you were with another male. He'd have no idea what you told that person about your dating life so therefore remaining silent may have seemed the more respectful thing to do unless you broke the ice first. He may have also been thinking the same thing you were and wondering why you weren't saying anything. lol Therefore it may not have been to protect himself but rather to respect you. In fact he may have told his date about it once they were alone.
Was there ever a time you two were alone when either of you could have said, "Wow, fancy meeting you here!" If so that would have cleared the air immediately rather than meeting while with other dates and not knowing how to react.
When he introduced himself you could have also asked..."haven't we met before?" and not only opened the door but left it in his hands. If he said "no", you'd know he was underhanded and choosing to hide something for some reason. If he said "yes", you would have had to briefly explain to your dates how you met which could have then led to feeling more awkward especially if asked why it didn't work out. As I said, he was probably just as confused as you were as to how to handle the situation and didn't want to put you on the spot.
Sometimes when we don't know what's appropriate, silence is best.

Adding you to his favorites was a good sign in my opinion. Although people add others for all sorts of reasons once you actually met in person and they add you, it's a definite compliment! They're letting you know that even after meeting you that you stand out more than others on here to them, they still like you even if only for a friendship....... and best of all is that they trust you, which is most important in all relationships of any kind. (I say "trust" because once you're on their favorites you could bash them in a testimonial if you chose to but obviously he trusts you not to ever disrespect him in that way.) Once again...it's a good sign to me and without signs how would you ever know what he's thinking!
I believe this was his way/sign of reaching out and probably hoping you acknowledge it.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Profile settings
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:36:44 AM
Why can't you just type in the city you want to display if you're concerned that it doesn't match up with the zip code? The zip code is for searches and most zip codes cover an area we should all be willing to drive to. You can also use your "about me" to state anything you'd like about your driving preference in relationship to your area or someone elses.

While I was typing this up I also thought it would be great to add a flirt or icebreaker button for ppl who are 2 shy to talk first?
Some people use their "favorites" or rely on the "who's viewed me" for other's to pick up that they're interested. I wouldn't suggest counting on that as hint though because they're also used for various other reasons too....including some of us who may need glasses and click on thumbnails just to enlarge them.
I believe a simple short message is the best way to let someone know you're interested in them. : )
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are there any rules if you want a new forum?
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:21:50 AM
Why don't you suggest it here...under Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help? That way you'll not only get feedback from members but if a Mod feels it's a good suggestion I'm sure they'll take it to the Admin or perhaps he'll even read it here and consider it himself. If it's not a good idea you may find out the reason why.

You can also write to the Admin directly but I'm sure he's swamped with hundreds of emails and various other problems with keeping up this site with such a large membership base. You can reach him or any of the Mods by clicking on the following link.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts70399.aspx
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Messaging rules don't work properly
Posted: 6/29/2009 11:06:27 AM
I'm not sure but I also believe that it takes more than one contact. You can check here to see if anything clicks or if it leads you to some other help. If not, I'm sure a mod will jump on soon or perhaps another member who had the same problem. Good Luck!
Msg. 7
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11816055.aspx#11816636
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Messaging rules don't work properly
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:52:05 AM
Perhaps someone in your contact history had it listed before but has since changed it and you never noticed it. I'm not sure what happens in that case. Are you sure it isn't because of another restriction they have that's preventing your emails from going through? Age, distance, searching for etc? Sometimes we miss the smallest things.....
 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Reporting Pictures.
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:41:35 PM

If someone displays 8 pictures of their face, the subsequent 7 pictures likely don't tell me anything different than the first picture does.
Maybe you're still misunderstanding. The 8 pics don't have to be only of their face. They can be pics of them doing flips in the air or skydiving as long as their face is VISIBLE in each shot so there's no question that it's them in the pic!


However, a picture that shows the person's horse, motorbike, or pets, or the view from their kitchen window, offers a real glimse into their personality and interests.
They can still include pics of their interests as long as their face is clearly visible in the pic so we know it's not someone elses horse, motorbike, pet or view out of a kitchen window. : )


I've said it before and I'll say it again. The whole situation regarding pics on POF is a mess. There's around 3 or 4 sets of contradictory instructions, differing standards and no privacy on 'private' images.
I honesty don't understand why so many people are confused when it used to be in BIG BOLD PRINT right on the same page you upload your pics and it's still the number one rule under RULES on the same page. All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot. In ALL due respect, I don't know what's so hard to understand about the word ALL? That means EVERY single pic you upload, private or otherwise.


I agree it kind of pisses me off when I have the restriction for members with photos only and then I get an email from a man with a picture of a sunset or a dog.
It's just away to sneak around restrictions and disregard the others preference.
Those are perhaps the only messages I read/delete.
And they probably don't understand why. LOL
You could always write back with a few short sentences that say..."I chose my restrictions for a reason. No COMPLIANT PIC, no more responses. PERIOD!" I bet they'd still write back though so you'd be right back to read/delete! I guess they'll figure it out sooner or later.

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Reporting Pictures.
Posted: 6/26/2009 6:04:27 PM

The way I understand it,
-The main picture needs to be a clear visible head shot.
-The other pictures must contain you.



All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot.

I believe that All the images must contain you....AND All the images must have a clear visible head shot, not just the main pic. As long as you are in ALL of them with a visible head shot they are acceptable. This is to be sure that you are in All the images you upload and that it is in fact you. : )

 unzippedpassion
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Reporting Pictures.
Posted: 6/26/2009 5:20:19 PM
The rules of the site as far as images go have always been clearly stated on the same page you upload your pics. Right now it looks like this...

RULES
All images MUST contain you, with a visible head shot.
Cartoons, celebrity, bare torso and joke pictures will be deleted.
*** UPLOADING NUDITY WILL GET YOUR ACCOUNT DELETED!!!
CLICK HERE for information about the images on your profile and why they may be working against you!

To me..ALL images means ALL!

I don't know why you're not seeing the report user under anyone's profile because I just checked and I see it under all of them. Yes, there are many many people who don't follow rules for various reasons. Whether it's because they don't care, they can't read, or any other reason, sooner or later it'll catch up to them. With all the people on this site it does take time though but trust that it is only a matter of time before they lose their pics and possibly their uploading privileges.

 
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