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 Author Thread: Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 527 (view)
 
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:12:25 PM
simplyurs,
I totally agree with what you wrote, I too, believe in building a relationship with true feelings and a foundation of trust and caring. Unfortunately, "friends with benefits" is a great copout for so many people. And so many gals out there seem to go along with it just to have someone supposedly in their lives. What they don't realize though is that they are short-changing themselves and settling.
I don't have any answers on how to change this and why so many people are opting for this alternative to a real relationship, all I can say is stay true to yourself and do what you feel is right for you. Sometimes being alone and getting to know yourself and being comfortable with who you are has its own rewards. The right guy will come along and you'll know it. DON"T SETTLE.

Best regards,
Angelgigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:12:09 PM
Sounds like you haven't gotten over her, so why are you on this site?
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I cant seem to let go of my cheating wife..Y??
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:52:44 PM
I agree with the others, you keep taking her back there are no boundaries and she knows it. Cut it off completely, thats the only way you can start to heal.

By the way, you shouldn't put "divorced" on your profile, thats not being honest at all.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:15:15 PM
What exactly is wrong with her body that has you seeking advice in the forums/ you say everything else is all good, but...... I agree with the poste who said if you really are in love with her,then there are no imperfections.

Also, there are many different kinds of love, maybe you love her but aren't "in love" with her. If thats the case, then its best to move on cause you will hurt her.

Good luck,
Angelgigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
If you're independant, why R U here?
Posted: 6/10/2008 6:20:24 PM
Your absolutely right, I couldn't have said it any better. Right on, girl.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 255 (view)
 
Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:19:56 PM
I agree, I read the book and, as you stated, its about woman controlling their destinies and their lives. Having self-respect. There is nothing wrong with that, its Healthy!!

If a man does love or is interested in a woman who is truly a B.i.t.c.h, then he must like to be controlled and devalued himself, he is the one with issues.

In this day and age, woman are more in control of their lives, we work, raise kids by ourselves, have financial responsibilites that have to be met, etc. Unless a man wants to step up to the plate and help us out, then he has no right to tell us we're too independent, or we work too much, or we don't have enough time to devote to him. That isn't fair. Its hard to have balance in all these areas, most of us are just trying to do the best we can. Some of us have to work two jobs, be involved in school activities, and do all the other stuff to keep the ball rolling. Then a man comes along who it might be nice to get to know. We do our best to find the time to get together, but I find alot of guys just don't get the facts. They think we are playing games with them if we aren't always available to talk on the phone or meet up after work, etc.

I take offense to that, I don't play games with anybody, and I try my best to be honest. Seems like when I'm honest, they don't believe me. Go figure.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 203 (view)
 
Ever feel like your going to be alone forever?
Posted: 2/5/2008 6:17:21 PM
Yup, I feel the same way. But I'm not going to settle for some loser with tons of baggage and several ex's lurking in the background,lol.
Seriously, although its like searching for a needle in a haystack, I believe its worth the wait. Why hook up with someone just to be part of a "couple" if it isn't right for you?
And why put up with someone who isn't kind and sensitive and makes you feel totally special?
Have patience, enjoy doing things on your own, hang with friends, learn something new and before you know it you won't even worry about Mr. Right coming along. He'll come when the time is right.
Good luck and good fishing.
Angelgigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
POF liar or not?
Posted: 12/27/2007 5:57:14 PM
Lately, it seems that all I've been talking to are guys like you just described. They say they are looking for a ltr, but how can you get to know someone when your on several dating sites and constantly on pof???
Please guys, give someone a chance and get to know each other to see if something can grow. You just can't do that by talking to many people at the same time. Gosh, how can you keep track of who your talking to and what information your sharing.
He totally sounds like he's playing you. Move on, don't continue to feed his over-inflated ego.
And guys, if you only want to be on these dating sites to keep on saying "NEXT", then be man enough to state that on your profiles. Stop leading unsuspecting people on, saying one thing and doing another. NOT COOL.

Thank you, and good luck in your search.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Reports of unethical or fraudulent experiences w/ True.com?
Posted: 7/27/2007 9:07:18 PM
I constantly get winks from True.com. They are nothing but bait to get me to buy a subscription. I keep sending them to spam, but they keep coming. I wouldn't have anything to do with that site, if someone paid me!!!lol
Plenty of Fish is the best site to be on. It has so much more than just profiles and I have made some good friends.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 56 (view)
 
It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:42:13 PM
Yes, we do get our share. I've met several men who's pic's on plenty of fish could have been an entirely different person. Unfortunately, the person I met was a good deal older, and looked entirely different{not in a good way}, of course I was dissapointed and felt that I had been deceived. Then it happened again, and my only response is, please post a current picture. AND, when you do meet for the first time, please, prepare yourself to meet a new person by at least washing, combing hair, etc. cleaning those grubby fingernails. Honestly, I met someone who didn't do any of the above and I was apalled!! However, I did my best to be pleasant and polite, but again, felt deceived. My goodness, how do these people expect to meet someone and start dating?
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Being hung up on
Posted: 2/19/2007 6:37:12 PM
First of all, you sound very intelligent and thoughtful. You need to go with your gut on something like this. Sounds like you've been with a controlling person before and are starting to see red flags.
If he went on a week long vacation and didn't bother to at least touch base and say hi, and now hangs up on you, well, maybe he is involved with someone else while also seeing you, or someone has come back into his life and he is confused and keeping you on hold. In any case, it sounds like he is insensitive to your needs and feelings. This is important because if he is acting that way now after only 6 weeks it could be the way things will continue. Also, what is a "good catch"?? He is only a good catch for you if he is giving you what you need in this relationship. It isn't about money.
My advice;
don't call him anymore. Wait and see if he calls you. Be cool if he does and let him do the talking. Don't act too needy.
If he doesn't call, let it go. Move on to someone who will be there for you and make you happy.
Either way, I hope things work out.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
When he doesn't make a move
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:30:17 PM
It sounds like it may be due to his injury, he probably feels bad that he can't satisfy you that way and now feels inadequate or embarrassed. You might let him know that you understand and would still like to pursue seeing each other. Maybe drop by his place with some snacks and keep it cool, just chat and be friendly, you know, no pressure kind of thing.

Hope it works out for you guys.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
When he doesn't make a move
Posted: 2/5/2007 6:30:08 PM
It sounds like it may be due to his injury, he probably feels bad that he can't satisfy you that way and now feels inadequate or embarrassed. You might let him know that you understand and would still like to pursue seeing each other. Maybe drop by his place with some snacks and keep it cool, just chat and be friendly, you know, no pressure kind of thing.

Hope it works out for you guys.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Was I Ditched!!!!!!!
Posted: 1/26/2007 2:26:24 PM
Sounds like a total lie to me. If your phone is off the hook, the person calling would get a busy signal,period. You wouldn't have the option of leaving a message. Also, if she was anticipating this date, like you were, why didn't she check her phone to see if there were any messages? At that point she would have seen that it was off the hook.

Its your choice, but for me, I'd be saying NEXT!!!!

Good luck, and Happy Birthday.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 65 (view)
 
am I a dick for doing this...
Posted: 1/22/2007 6:35:21 PM
Well, from what you've written it sounds like you really like her, get along well, etc. How overweight is she? Is it something you can gently introduce into conversation, maybe talk about the weight you've lost and how much better you feel?
Its a shame to let something that sounds like it has potential fall by the wayside just because she is a few pounds overweight. Too bad you can't see past that and entertain the idea that maybe things will be great for you guys in all areas.
Good luck.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Can Physical Attraction Grow?
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:59:52 PM
I can't agree more, diit. I feel the same way. What is inside someone can really make the difference about attraction. Don't always judge a book by its cover, you may miss out on something wonderful.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Things I've Learned From Online Dating
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:34:45 AM
I read your post so decided to look at your profile. Funny, there you are with a cat, then there you are with 2 gals kissing you, then there you are with 2 of your friends. Right below that in your description you write about how its not cool to do all of the above in a profile.
Like several of the responses stated; looks like your just wanting attention-noticed your only on 2 peoples favorites list. Not that that is such a big indicator of anything, but to me, it sounds like your a pretty shallow kind of guy. Gorgeous on the out-side{men and woman alike}, doesn't always mean the same on the inside. Also, some people purposely don't post a pic so you can get to know who they really are. Doesn't mean they aren't attractive. And isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder???
Good luck!!
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Dating more than one person!?
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:28:37 PM
I also choose to date one peson at a time. This allows us to get to know each other without several other people vying for attention. Unfortunately, alot of people here on the internet don't do that. it seems like they are afraid to be open in case it doesn't work out, then they have 2 0r 3 others dangling. I personally disagree with all that. It falls into the head games category to me. If you have emailed and talked alot and feel there might be a connection, then you meet and it feels good, thats when I say, ok, lets see where this takes us. At that point I don't see other people. And I would expect the same from him. Except most of the guys will say they agree and aren't seeing anyone, but they aren't always available, are still online, and basically just stringing me along. Thats when I say NEXT. Hopefully, there are still people out there who feel the same way that we do. Good luck.

Hugs,
Gigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Will you give up the personals if you find one that sticks??
Posted: 11/23/2006 10:35:08 PM
Yes, I definitely would. But I have to agree with everything you just posted. It seems to happen to all of us!!
So many men say they would, but then continue on here and other sites while they are telling a lady that she's the only one they want to be with.
I don't get it, does anybody else????
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
A Heartfelt letter to a Woman from a Man
Posted: 11/23/2006 8:26:06 AM
Your letter was heartfelt and I'm sure written with sincerity, however, I have to agree that it was somewhat "over-the-top". If you had met each other, why didn't you have her phone number? Doesn't make sense. Also, if it was only IM,ing and emails, then how could it have become so serious for you?
Sometimes too much too soon scares a woman off.
My advice;
let things take their course, let it be. If it was meant to be she'll contact you. If not, keep fishing.
Good luck,
Gigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
fast movers.
Posted: 11/22/2006 9:01:44 PM
I would proceed with caution!!!
I would make sure that as time went on he walked his talk!!!! That would be the true test of whether or not his feelings were genuine.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Long hair on older women
Posted: 10/14/2006 11:41:30 AM
I have long hair and I'm 48. I have it because I love it. It has nothing to do with what a man thinks about it. Having said that, every man who sees my profile comments on how much they love my long red hair. When meeting me in person they reiterate that comment and say it looks better than the picture. Yes, it does require alot of upkeep, but for me, its worth it.
I have no idea why people would say that after a certain age you should cut your hair, its all about upkeep and grooming. Long, stringy, greasy locks look bad at any age.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 112 (view)
 
I will review ur profile
Posted: 10/5/2006 1:50:13 AM
Thank you for taking the time to read my profile and offer advice. I'm going to do some editing. When I do can I send it to you again and have you look at it??
Appreciate the help.

Hugs,
Gigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 111 (view)
 
I will review ur profile
Posted: 10/5/2006 1:44:47 AM
Yes, will you please review mine and let me know what you think.

Thanks so much,

Gigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 275 (view)
 
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/27/2006 4:24:45 PM
well put!!! I feel exactly the same way. So many men out there call woman "golddiggers" if they act needy then we are independent and make our own way they tell us we're too strong-minded.
Can't win for losin sometimes,
r
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 274 (view)
 
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/27/2006 4:24:39 PM
well put!!! I feel exactly the same way. So many men out there call woman "golddiggers" if they act needy then we are independent and make our own way they tell us we're too strong-minded.
Can't win for losin sometimes,
r
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Found him, lost him
Posted: 9/24/2006 9:38:57 AM
same thing happened to me. He said he wanted to start this relationship off right and that communication is everything. We totally clicked, same values, principals, could talk about anything. Then, a few red flags went up and I called him on them, in a nice, rational way, just wanted to get to the truth. He, too, ran for the hills. Haven't heard from him since. Makes you wonder about all this talk of honesty and truthfulness.
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 258 (view)
 
Photos and the older person!
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:55:19 AM
Hi Sapphire,
I had to respond to your comment. I, too, have talked to men on POF who had very nice pics posted on their profiles, but when I met them, I had no idea they were the same person. At least 10 years older, and like you said, wizened and wrinkled. I always arrive to meet someone at my best, and I want to make a good impression. I think it just shows respect. To have somone show up in dirty clothing, unwashed, unshaved, and no apologies, whats up with that!!!!
In response to the comment about woman displaying pics of boobs and leg, I have to totally agree with you. I've talked to woman who say men on these websites are all out for one thing, I have to disagree. I think a man will respond based on the way we present ourselves. I haven't had that happen to me. I always am totally honest about my principals and what I'm looking for in my next relationship and men I meet have honored that. If you put yourself out there looking like a ho then thats how men will respond.
By the way my pic is 9 months old. I look just like it.

Gigi
 angelgigi
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 83 (view)
 
I will review ur profile
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:36:06 AM
That would be great, I would love my profile reviewed.
Please let me know what you think,'

Thank you,
Angelgigi
 
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